


We Are Stars | reylo

by aidenfiftyone



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi
Genre: Dreamwalking, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Ghosts, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Ren Redemption, Post-Canon, Redeemed Ben Solo, Reylo - Freeform, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Stormpilot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-05-29
Packaged: 2019-02-28 10:54:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 58,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13269954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aidenfiftyone/pseuds/aidenfiftyone
Summary: 'Ben stepped forward, until he was only about a foot away from her. “You’d know if it wasn’t real.” He was quiet for a moment. “You feel that, don’t you? The push and pull. The Force. Your mind can’t make that up.”Rey felt exactly what Ben was describing: night and day, life and death. The balance of the stormy sea against the sky. She knew he was right, but she couldn’t quite bring herself to admit it. She closed her eyes for a moment, and when she opened them again, he was gone.'~Rey thought that when she closed the door on Ben Solo on Crait, the connection would be closed forever; however, as the First Order inevitably catches up to the Resistance, she realizes she was wrong.





	1. Chapter One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are a lot of dream sequences in this story, so for reference, all dream sequences will be in italics. Enjoy!

_Ben Solo was alone in the command center of the First Order’s Star Destroyer. The usual hub of activity had been reduced to an echoing silence. At first he looked around at the empty seats where there were once many officers, but for some reason, the window kept calling to him, and eventually he couldn’t tear his gaze away from the black abyss of the galaxy._

_There was a deep dull rumbling in the distance. Ben searched the darkness harder to find the source of the noise. Surely a ship was approaching, but from where?_

_Suddenly there was the loudest most piercing bang Ben had ever heard, and then absolute silence as the back of the ship exploded and collapsed, and all of the contents of the ship were pulled into the vacuum of space._

_Cold. All he could feel was cold. He couldn’t move in the slightest, as every force in the universe seemed to be holding him down, helplessly drifting in a frozen sea._

 

Ben awoke in a cold sweat, gasping for breath. He was relieved when he realized that he wasn’t being crushed by the vacuum of space, but the feeling of terror somehow did not subside.

 

~

Rey couldn’t sleep.

 

It had been days since the Rebels has escaped the death grip of the New Order. The very few remaining Rebels had piled into the Millennium Falcon. When everyone was awake during the day, the ship was cramped, as there were just slightly too many people for the ship to comfortably accommodate. At night, however, the ship was peaceful and quiet. Almost everyone slept on emergency blankets on the floor, besides Chewbacca and General Organa, who took up the seats in the cockpit. There was also always someone awake who was steering the ship (usually Poe), heading steadily towards a distant planet where they could take refuge until they received backup.

 

Rey was surrounded by people she trusted. Good people. She couldn’t understand why she didn’t feel safe if she was surrounded by the people who she cared about the most.

 

And yet she still couldn’t sleep.

 

Finn was next to her. He was sleeping on his back, and she could hear a soft rumbling snore emanating from his chest. Next to Finn was Rose. Her injuries were still healing, but for the most part it looked as if she would be okay. Rey had seen the way that Finn looked at Rose every day, as if everything was counting on Rose’s survival; Rey knew that Finn truly loved Rose, and although in the past she would have been jealous, for some reason, now she didn’t feel a single twinge in her heart. She felt a longing for something, though. She didn’t know what that something was yet, but she felt incomplete somehow.

 

Rey sighed. She had been laying there for what felt like hours, and still, sleep never came. Her body lay completely still, but somehow her mind never wanted to rest; it was always electrified, vibrating in her skull, replaying sensations over and over. She tried to block out the memories that her brain kept attempting to show her, thinking that if she just ignored what her mind was trying to tell her, she would get some rest. Her strategy was not working, but she was too stubborn to give in.

 

Instead she decided to get up and walk around. 'Maybe some exploring will tire me out,' she thought, but she knew it really was wishful thinking. She quietly removed her blanket, and careful not to disturb Finn and Rose, she stepped over the sleeping Rebels and crept into one of the Falcon’s many industrial corridors.

 

The Falcon’s silence wasn’t true silence; Rey could hear a soft mechanical hum coming from all around. She slowly walked along the hallway, looking at all the different tubes, wires, pipes, buttons, and flashing lights that covered the walls. There were grates that let out small puffs of steam, and wires that occasionally sparked, but even in the midst of what seemed like chaos, there was a certain sense of peace. She wasn’t exactly sleepy yet, so her walk wasn’t doing what it was supposed to do, but in her mind, it was much better than just longingly staring up at the ceiling, so she was glad that she decided to get up.

 

Rey stood still for a moment, taking a deep breath, when suddenly she could feel _him_ breathing too.

 

‘No,’ she thought, ‘please, no.’

She squeezed her eyes shut, because she knew what she would see if she opened them.

 

“Rey.” His voice was breathless.

 

Rey slowly opened her eyes, and sure enough, there he was. Not quite in the exact manner she expected; she had pictured him as sinister and menacing and powerful, just like he had looked when they were last beside each other, but she was staring at a man who was far less foreboding.

 

Ben looked as if he had just woken up, which considering the circumstances, he probably had. He was shirtless, wearing only a pair of well-worn black shorts. He was slightly sweaty, and a few strands of his black hair stuck to his forehead. His shoulders were drawn towards his body in a hesitant stance. More than anything, he looked… afraid.

 

“…W-Why is this happening?” Rey finally managed to say, her tone slightly hushed so as not to wake the others on the ship, although by this point, she was likely too far down the tunnel for them to hear her. “I thought that Snoke was making all of this happen. Why is it… why is it still happening?” She took a step backwards, away from Ben. She wanted to be as far away from him as possible. She hadn’t even managed to reflect on what had happened between them yet; she hadn’t been able to bring herself to face it internally. How could she possibly face him physically?

 

Ben took a few breaths before answering. “I don’t know.” His tone was solemn, almost as if he was disappointed by the way Rey had reacted.

 

They both waited. Rey knew that she was linked to Ben; there was no running away from him.

 

Seconds passed by like hours. Ben maintained eye contact, but his gaze was so icy that Rey couldn’t help but look away. More than anything, she wanted to make him disappear. She wanted to block him out. She tried, of course, but no matter what she did, there he was. Unmoving. Eventually Ben’s gaze dropped to the floor, in an emotion that Rey couldn’t quite determine.

 

Rey had so many questions that she just couldn’t ask him. In fact, most of the questions she wanted the answers to were too overwhelming for her to even think. She had so many strong emotions towards him that they all seemed to cancel each other out, and she was left with a hollow feeling. A scared feeling.

 

“I’m guessing this isn’t going to end anytime soon,” Ben said, in reference to the Force bond. He made eye contact with Rey before letting his gaze fall back to the floor.

 

It was silent for a moment. Both Rey and Ben seemed defeated, in some way.

 

“Why are you awake so late?” The words left Rey’s mouth before she could even process what she was saying.

 

Ben looked up with a certain degree of surprise. “I…” He was caught off guard. “I had a… dream.”

 

“A dream?” Rey responded. The sensible part of her mind chided her for continuing the conversation, and not just shutting it down as soon as she had the opportunity.

 

Ben’s ran his hand over the back of his neck tiredly. Rey had never seen him look so human. “More of a nightmare, really.”

 

For the first time all night, Rey felt slightly tired, and her legs wobbled, partly due to the stress of the situation, and partly due to exhaustion. Instinctively, she sat down on the floor with her back up against the corridor wall. She should have been on guard, especially in front of her greatest enemy, but for some reason she had drifted into a sleepy haze, and she didn’t seem to care anymore. “What was it about?” She asked, against the advice of her common sense.

 

Ben looked hesitant, but he slowly sat down on the floor beside her, with about a foot between them. He broke eye contact again. “Why would I tell you?” His tone was sharp.

 

“Fine, then,” Rey snapped back, looking at the floor as well.

 

It was quiet for a moment. “…Why are _you_ awake so late?”

 

“I couldn’t sleep.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I don’t know.” Having a conversation with her enemy made Rey realize that she’d never talked to Ben about something that wasn’t important before. She’d never talked to him about normal things, like sleeping, and she’d certainly never seen him so vulnerable. “Why do you think this is happening?” She asked again, only this time, her tone was much quieter and much less desperate.

 

“If I did know, why would I tell you? If you knew how to make the connection then you’d only use it to pester me at all hours about joining the Rebellion,” Ben said, his tone slightly mocking.

 

“Then you truly know nothing about me. More than anything I wish to be away from you. Why would I choose to make the connection?”

 

Ben was quiet for a moment. “How should I know what you would choose?” His tone was gentle in a way that Rey had never heard from him before. She had a feeling he wasn’t talking about the connection anymore.

 

In the span of a few seconds, the room grew very cold, and then he was gone, and the warmth rushed back into the corridor. The connection was lost.

 

Rey felt overwhelmingly disappointed in herself for not saying something of importance. For days she’d been wondering about what she’d say to him when they finally came face-to-face; now she had her chance and she blew it. 


	2. Chapter Two

“Rey?”

 

Rey awoke to Poe kneeling next to her, lightly shaking her shoulder. She sat up, and blinked a few times, confused. She slowly realized that she was still in the back corridor from the night before.

 

“Why are you here?” The pilot asked. “We’ve been looking for you all morning. We thought you’d died or something! Finn’s been worried sick.” He chuckled.

 

“Oh… I couldn’t sleep, and I went for a walk last night…”

 

“And then you just decided to sleep on the floor?” Poe looked amused.

 

Rey shrugged. “I suppose.”

 

Poe got to his feet and offered a hand to Rey, who accepted it and stood up as well. She noticed that the calming hum of the ship was absent, as if they had arrived.

 

“We landed on Hoth at dawn this morning,” said Poe, as if on cue, “we’ve been trying to unload all of our supplies, but it isn’t easy, because we’re in the middle of a huge blizzard.” The two walked towards the exit of the ship. Just as he had said, there were several people carrying boxes off of the ship. Outside, snow whipped past at a blistering speed. Rey shuddered just at the thought, glancing down at her bare arms.

 

Poe followed her gaze and realized why she was looking so hesitant to step outside. “Oh my god, you must be freezing. Grab a jacket from that crate over there; we have tons.”

 

Rey walked over to the crate Poe was referring to, rummaging through it for a moment before pulling out a large down-filled jacket with a hood. She also managed to find a pair of goggles and some gloves, and put them on.

 

“Rey!” She heard as she stepped outside into the cold air. Finn jogged over to her to the best of his abilities through the snow. “Where have you been?”

 

“Nowhere interesting,” Rey replied. She had never told any of the Rebels about what had happened between her and Ben Solo, and she certainly wasn’t planning on starting now, especially because she had no idea why they were still connected. “I ended up getting lost in the middle of the night,” she fibbed.

 

Finn laughed, shaking his head. “I don’t know how you managed that.”

 

“Finn, I need your help over here. Rose can’t walk to the base,” one of the medics said.

 

Finn nearly tripped over his own feet trying to turn around. “Coming!” He ran over towards Rose, who was carefully stepping off of the ship supported by the medic.

 

Rey looked towards the base that loomed in front of them. It was similar to the last planet the Rebels took refuge on, with the shield door that marked the front of the base sticking out from the side of a mountain. The shield door slowly opened, and Rey could see what looked like a hangar inside. She picked up one of the crates that was sticking out of the snow, and carried it towards the entrance to the base. She wondered absentmindedly why they couldn’t have just landed the Falcon inside the base. As she walked, her mind started to drift even more.

 

Try as she might, she couldn’t help but think about what had happened the night before. She wasn’t sure if it was even real. In fact, the more she thought about it, the more she convinced herself that it was a dream. ‘How could it have possibly been real?’ she thought, and by the time she walked into the warm shelter of the base, she had completely convinced herself that the whole event was a product of her imagination.

 

~

 

“They’re flying around the galaxy in that huge uncloaked piece of junk and you’re telling me that you can’t find them?” Ben was steadily growing more and more impatient. He was staring out into the black abyss through the main window of the ship’s command center, facing away from his primary officer, General Hux.

 

“I assume you’re referring to the Millennium Falcon,” General Hux replied.

 

“Yes. How else would they have escaped Crait?”

 

“Supreme Leader,” Hux said, with a hint of malice in his voice, “If I may… our forces are doing their best. The amount of Rebels is so small that at this point, locating their tiny ship is like finding a needle in a haystack.”

 

Ben spun around, his gaze fiery. “That _needle_ that you are referring to is the dagger that will stab the First Order in its unguarded back. I would advise you to give the Rebels more credit; after all, they have consistently evaded your best efforts to destroy them,” he spat.

 

Hux had seen that look in the Supreme Leader’s eyes before; the General knew that if he valued his life, he shouldn’t push any more than he already had.

 

One of the lower-ranked advisors, Private Hethna, shyly stepped towards Ben. Hux could see that she was terrified of the Leader, but she had to do her job. “Supreme Leader? I apologize for interrupting…”

 

“Yes, what is it?” Ben cast his gaze over to the Private, his anger turning to contempt.

 

“Y-You have an appointment with the medical bay. They’d like to check on your healing injuries.”

 

Ben let out an exasperated sigh. “Inform them I am on my way. And Hux?”

 

The redhead looked up to make eye contact with the Leader.

 

“Redeem yourself. _Find that ship_.” Ben stormed out of the room, with the lower-ranking advisor following close behind.

 

“Why do they need to see me again?” Ben asked Hethna as they rode down in the elevator together.  


The Private was surprised that the Supreme Leader was even speaking to her, and barely processed that he had asked her a question. “…Oh! Uh, I’m sure that it’s just a routine check.”

 

The elevator opened at the medical bay floor. Hethna cautiously stepped out and walked over to the machines to set them up. Ben had gone through the process of the droids healing him many times before, that now it was routine. He removed the top half of his robes so that his scars were exposed, and sat on the obsidian-colored table. Hethna finished programming the droids and left the room, giving Ben a slight bow before the elevator closed.

 

The droids instantly started working on the tissue on Ben’s torso. Part of the scar had opened and bled while he was training, and the droids quickly went to work closing it up. He flinched slightly due to the stinging pain of the needles. He tried to think about something else to distract himself, and he wanted to take the opportunity to plan his attack on the Rebels, but all he could think about is Rey. His enemy. His exact equal. She was the only thing standing in the way of the First Order, and more importantly, she was the only thing standing in the way of Ben’s peace of mind. As long as she existed, he would never be rid of the conflict within him: the battle between the dark side and the light.

 

The droid suddenly stuck the needle in him slightly too far, which caused him to cry out in pain, bringing him back to reality. Impulsively, he used the Force to slam the droid against the wall, causing it to spark and then lie still. He glanced down at his bare stomach and saw that a small trail of blood was trickling down his side. He felt regret seep in as he realized that now there wasn’t a droid to patch him up. He carefully hopped off of the table and searched around the empty medical bay. There weren’t many manual medical tools, as almost all the work was done mechanically. Eventually, he found a package of sterile white bandages in one of the drawers, and he ripped it open. He ripped off a section of the bandage and used the small cloth to wipe away the excess blood. Then, he carefully wrapped the rest of the bandages around his waist so that the wound was protected.

 

Ben finished his work and felt slightly proud. Everyone on the ship constantly treated him like he was a child- a very powerful child, but a child nonetheless- and he was tired of it. He never had the opportunity to do anything for himself. But now he really had done something on his own. Sure, he had just wrapped some bandages around himself, but he felt better than he would have if he had just let the droids poke and prod at him. He put his robes back on and left the medical bay, taking the elevator to the 14th level.

 

The 14th level was by far Ben’s most frequent place. It used to be the main hangar for the largest ship the First Order had, but when the other levels were renovated to accommodate bigger and better ships, the old hangar was practically abandoned. The only thing that it housed now were a few old spacecrafts and some physical training supplies. He went there whenever he didn’t feel like dealing with General Hux and his constant blather, which had become more and more often.

 

The doors of the elevator opened, and the lights of the old hangar flickered on. Ben took in the sights of the abandoned ships, covered in tarps and layers of dust. There were mostly ships that belonged to the old Empire, but there were some crafts which had been confiscated from the Rebels. Ben knew the First Order’s ships inside and out, so he occasionally would take apart and put back together the Rebels’ ships; to see how they worked and to make them better.

 

His favourite project was the ARC-170 that he had repaired. It was like the X-wings that the Rebels often fought in, but instead of four wings, it had six: three on each side of the main cockpit. Another difference was that the ARC-170 required two pilots.

 

Ben approached his favourite ship, quickly pulling himself up the ladder that he had left at the side of the ship the last time he had worked on it. Once inside, he sat down on the dusty leather seat in the cockpit and stared distantly at the controls while he thought about what had happened the night before. He hadn’t allowed himself to process it yet. Why would he dream about the Force connecting him with Rey? Was it even a dream? The more he tried to think about it, the less he understood, and eventually he became weary of trying to come up with an answer, and slowly drifted off to sleep in the cockpit of the ship.


	3. Chapter Three

_“Solo, hurry up!” Kendall called from the top of the cliff by the sea._

_Ben laughed, hastily climbing the rocks to get to his best friend. Kendall peered down at Ben one last time before disappearing out of view. “Hey, wait!” Ben protested. He finally reached the top and saw that Kendall was sitting on the edge of the cliff with a smooth stone in his hands, looking out towards the ocean. Ben sat down beside him and picked up a stone as well, running his hands over it._

_Kendall thought for a moment, and then chuckled. “Do you think we’ll ever get off of this island?”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_“Like, when will this training ever end? We’ve been here for two years and we’ve still barely learned anything.” Kendall took one final look at the stone he was holding and chucked it into the sea. “We’re only 15, but this rate, we’ll be Jedi when we’re forty.”_

_Ben chuckled. “I guess. I don’t know, I mean,“ he tossed his stone into the water as well, “I don’t even know if I want to be a Jedi anymore.”_

_“Why? Skywalker loves you. You’re his favourite student. Anyone at the Academy would kill to be you.”_

_“That’s not the point. It’s just… are the Jedi even that great? Like, what have they ever done?”_

_Kendall laughed. “Um, like, everything? What’s gotten into you today, Solo?”_

_“Oh, it’s nothing.” Ben gave up on trying to convince Kendall otherwise. Instead, he turned away to look out at the horizon, where the sea met the sky. The sun was just starting to set, and the island began to glow warmly._

_“Ben.”_

_Ben turned back to see his best friend with a strange look in his eyes. “It’s too late.”_

_“What?”_

_“I’m being torn apart. I want to be free of this pain. I know what I have to do but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it.”_

_Ben noticed a small amount of blood trickling out of the corner of Kendall’s mouth. “What’s happening to you?”_

_“Will you help me?” Kendall’s eyes were almost looking through Ben._

_“Yes, anything! What’s wrong with you?” Ben looked down and in horror, realized that his light saber was sticking through his best friend’s stomach. “No no no please no, I didn’t do this,” He deactivated the saber and wrapped his arms around Kendall in a tight hug. “Please,” he cried, his voice breaking. Kendall’s body went slack and his ragged breathing slowed. His lifeless body became so heavy that it slipped out of Ben’s grasp, and Ben watched his best friend fall into the crashing waves below._

He awoke, still sitting in the cockpit of the ARC-170, gasping for breath. Lately, his subconscious had been splicing his memories to create terrifying scenarios. There was a steady stream of tears running down his cheeks that he couldn’t stop. He climbed down the ladder and began to walk in the direction of the elevator when he stopped in the middle of the hangar, trying to catch his breath.

 

~

 

The Rebels slept in the small sleeping pods that were carved into the walls. It was better than sleeping on the floor, but at the same time, it was much colder than the Falcon. Once again, Rey couldn’t sleep, but this time it was for a different reason. As the minutes passed by, she was steadily growing more anxious. She was tired, and if she was relaxed, she’d be asleep in the blink of an eye, but more than anything, she didn’t want to sleep, because she was worried that if she did, she would dream of Ben Solo again. She knew that she’d end up falling asleep if she lay there any longer, so she decided to go for yet another midnight walk.

 

Rey crept out of the sleeping quarters and into the hangar. A few of the lights were still on; some of the pilots were cleaning and repairing their ships late into the night, or playing cards while sitting on crates. She made sure that she wasn’t seen by the pilots, and stayed in the shadows, walking around the perimeter of the hangar. Eventually she got to the other side, where she noticed a small metal door. She tried the handle, and although it was creaky, it was open, and she stepped inside. The lights automatically turned on when she walked into the room and it startled her slightly, but she was relieved to find that she was alone. The room wasn’t empty though. Screens, maps, and controls covered the walls. Rey assumed that the room would have been used as a command center for the Rebels many years ago, but now it was abandoned, and everything was covered in a thin layer of dust. She began looking around, sifting through maps on one of the tables.

 

Suddenly, a wave of emotion washed over her. The feeling was distinct and overwhelming. She looked up, and he was there.

 

Ben had his back turned to Rey. His shoulders were slouched slightly, and he was looking down.

 

“Go away,” Rey said firmly. She had taken extra caution just to avoid this exact confrontation, and yet, here he was.

 

Ben looked up in surprise, as if he hadn’t yet noticed that Rey was there. He quickly turned around to look at Rey, and she noticed in disbelief that he had tear stains on his cheeks. He seemed to remember as well, and he hurriedly wiped his face with his hands.

 

“Why are you here?” he asked, with a hint of panic in his voice, “I… I thought whatever happened last night wasn’t real.”      

 

 “So did I.” Rey desperately wanted to ask him why he was crying, because she was absolutely bewildered that he even had the capacity to do so, but at the same time, she just couldn’t bring herself to express interest in the well-being of her greatest enemy. She sighed. “Either last night was some sort of hallucination or dream or vision or whatever…” Ben stared at the floor as she spoke, almost as if he was ashamed. “Or,” Rey continued, “…it was real.”

 

Ben’s eyes flickered up from the floor to meet Rey’s. “Which means this is real.”

 

“Why would it be?”

 

Ben stepped forward, until he was only about a foot away from her. “You’d know if it wasn’t real.” He was quiet for a moment. “You feel that, don’t you? The push and pull. The Force. Your mind can’t make that up.”

 

Rey felt exactly what Ben was describing: night and day, life and death. The balance of the stormy sea against the sky. She knew he was right, but she couldn’t quite bring herself to admit it. She closed her eyes for a moment, and when she opened them again, he was gone.


	4. Chapter Four

Ben was alone once again in the hangar; Rey was gone.

 

When Rey had talked about dreams, Ben had made a connection internally: every time that the Force had connected them so far, it had been directly after Ben had a nightmare. Was it his own fear that was making him reach out to Rey? If so, then he had no way to stop them from connecting, unless he had some way to stop having nightmares.

 

Ben absentmindedly wondered if anyone was looking for him. After all, he had fallen asleep in the ARC-170. Surely General Hux was wondering where he was at this time. He strode quickly towards the elevator, where the doors opened automatically. As he rode up in the elevator, he couldn’t help but feel like embarrassed, even though there was no one around to see it. He had just fallen asleep in the cockpit of a ship, had a nightmare, and then cried about it. He felt like a small child who was yearning for his parents. Perhaps Ben didn’t necessarily want his parents, but he definitely wished that he felt a little less alone.

 

The doors opened to the level of the command center. Ben shook off any feelings of vulnerability and strode into the center, where Hux was discussing plans about the attack on the Resistance with one of the other commanders.

 

“Ah, Supreme Leader. So kind of you to join us,” Hux greeted Ben, his voice filled with contempt.

 

“Careful, General,” Ben warned, “you speak out of turn far too often.”

 

“Uh, sir?” Private Hethna approached Ben just as she had earlier.

 

“This better be important,” said Ben.

 

“It is, sir, I assure you. There have been reports of small groups of Rebels and Resistance fighters abandoning their posts all throughout the galaxy. Every battle that we’ve had with the Resistance, they’ve all run away.”

 

“Run away? Where are they running to?” General Hux asked.

 

“They’re all headed towards one point in the Dogma system,” Hethna replied.

 

“They’ve called for backup,” Ben explained, clasping his hands behind his back and walking towards the large window that looked out into the galaxy. “The Rebels have sent out a distress signal. Now every pilot, poker player, and janitor that’s ever allied with the Resistance is headed their way.”

 

“And what are we going to do about this?” questioned Hux.

 

“Apparently I overestimated how clever you are, because I thought the answer to that question was simple. We’re going to follow them.”

 

~

 

Rey awoke, but this time she was relieved to find she was actually in one of the sleeping pods where she was supposed to be. She didn’t want Poe or Finn to be any more suspicious than they already were, and what would they think if they found her passed out in the abandoned room on the east side of the hangar?

 

She looked around the room, finding that she was the last one to wake up. She hurried to get out of her sleeping bag and straightened out her clothes slightly before walking into the main control center. She was instantly curious, as everyone was gathered around the main holographic map in the center of the room, chattering amongst themselves.

 

“What’s going on?” She asked as she approached the crowd.

 

“Rey!” Rose exclaimed, “Our distress signal was answered! Our allies are coming!”

 

“Really? That’s amazing!” What Rey admired the most about Rose was her constant hopefulness in the face of any adversity. Fearless optimism was something that Rey hoped she shared with Rose. “When will they be here?” Rey asked.

 

“They should arrive within the next day or two,” General Organa replied. “Some are relatively close, while others are travelling all the way from the Inner Rim.”

 

Rey caught sight of Poe from across the room. Everyone seemed to be excited about their allies’ arrival except him. She made her way through the crowd of Resistance fighters to talk to him.

 

“Are you all right?” She asked as soon as she was close enough.

 

“Rey. Can I talk to you for a second?”

 

“Sure,” Rey said, and let Poe lead her out of the command center.

 

“I don’t like this plan,” Poe said as soon as they were alone.

 

Rey narrowed her eyes in confusion. “What’s wrong with the plan? Our numbers are dwindling. Soon there won’t even be a Resistance left if we don’t get backup.”

 

“Sure, sure, it’s great in theory. But these allies of ours are Rebels who are involved in very real and important battles with the First Order- “

 

“You don’t think that our current battle with the First Order is real or important?”

 

“Let me finish. If these allies just suddenly start to abandon every battle they’re currently fighting and all run in the exact same direction towards the exact same planet, don’t you think that’s going to be just a little bit suspicious to the First Order?”

 

Rey realized what Poe was implying, and horror slowly set in. “Oh no.”

 

Poe nodded solemnly. “Pretty soon, we’re gonna have every single one of the First Order’s forces on our ass.”

 

“Why haven’t you told General Organa about this yet?” Rey asked, and she began to walk in the direction of the General, but Poe stopped her, grabbing her shoulder.

 

“I’m worried that she’ll just ignore me. At this point, all she thinks of me is that I’m impulsive and trigger-happy.”

 

“Then let me talk to her about it. I’m sure I can convince her that this isn’t a good idea.”

 

Poe sighed. “You can try.”

 

Rey made her way back into the command center and through the crowd towards Leia. “General Organa! General, please, it’s important.”

 

She looked up from discussing a map with one of the officers. “Yes, Rey?”

 

“Calling for backup isn’t a good idea; in fact, it could be our downfall.”

 

“How do you figure that?”

 

“If all of our allies suddenly abandon their posts and run towards the same coordinates at the edge of the galaxy, then the First Order is just going to follow them all straight here,” Rey explained.

 

“Shit. General, Rey is right. What are we going to do when the First Order shows up on our doorstep?” Finn asked.

 

Leia shook her head. “You think that I haven’t thought about that? Of course I understand that as soon as we make a move this big, the First Order will be suspicious, but we have to look at the pros and cons. If we do successfully bring all of our allies here, then the First Order won’t stand a chance against us. But if we don’t call for backup, the First Order will eventually find us and destroy us.”

 

Rey knew that Leia was right, but she couldn’t help but feel slightly betrayed that the General didn’t make everyone aware of what she knew to be inevitable. “Does that mean we have to prepare for a battle?” Rey asked.

 

Leia sighed. “It is the nature of the Resistance that we _always_ must prepare for a battle.”


	5. Chapter Five

For the rest of the day, Rey dreaded the night, when she would inevitably be visited by Ben Solo. She had been thinking about it, desperately trying to come up with an answer as to why the Force kept connecting them. One thing that she had noticed was that whenever they first connected, Ben always seemed particularly vulnerable or afraid. She wondered if he was contacting her on purpose, perhaps just in search of some company. She chuckled out loud at even thinking about that. Ben Solo would never have stooped as low as to search for someone’s company, let alone the company of his greatest enemy. Rey resolved that must have been unintentionally connecting them whenever he experienced any strong emotions. If that was true, she wondered if it was two-sided. Rey had not gone through any particularly interesting events lately, so she had no reason to have connected them. For a fleeting moment, she had the idea to put herself in a situation where she would be afraid or angry, just to see if it would have connected them. Of course, she quickly realized how irrational she was being, and dismissed the idea.

 

She brought herself back to the matter at hand: she didn’t want to be visited by her nemesis tonight, as tempting as that sounded, so she needed to figure out a way to prevent him from connecting with her. The problem was that if her theory about the Force bond was correct, then she had no control over whether or not the connection was made; it was all in the hands of Ben. In fact, the more she thought about it, the more helpless she felt.

 

Suddenly, she realized something: if she wasn’t awake when Ben was having his particularly powerful emotions, then maybe he wouldn’t be able to connect with her. Of course, there was always the chance that the Force would wake her up, but Rey decided that if there was a chance that she could avoid Ben, she would take it.

 

She was sitting on the edge of her sleeping pod, thinking about what she would say if she saw Ben again tonight, when Finn walked into the room.

 

“Rey,” he said.

 

“Is everything all right?” She asked. The Rebels had been preparing their battle plans all day, so Rey immediately assumed there was some sort of problem.

 

Finn smiled, and Rey was immediately relieved. “Everything’s great. I just wanted to ask you… do you want to play cards with us?” he asked. “We need someone with good morals. Poe’s a dirty cheater.”

 

Rey was pleasantly surprised. “Sure,” she said, standing up and following him out of the room, “although, you’ll have to teach me. I’ve never played cards before.”

 

“Aw, don’t worry,” Finn assured her, “it’s easy, and you’re really clever.”

 

The pair walked over towards a cards table that was set up in the middle of the now-empty command center, where Rose and Poe sat. “Where is everyone?” Rey asked, referring to the crowd of people that stood there just about an hour before.

 

“They made themselves a little strategy room in the west wing. They’ve got all their maps in there and everything… I assume they’ll be up all night discussing,” Poe said. “Come on, sit down.” He patted the chair beside him, and Rey took a seat.

 

“Rey, don’t sit next to Poe, he’ll look at your hand the entire time,” Rose warned with a laugh, as Finn sat down in the chair next to her.

 

“Hey! Why does everyone think I’m cheating? I play by the rules!” Poe defended.

 

Finn rolled his eyes. “Look at how many chips you have. You’re telling me that’s luck?”

 

“It’s not luck! It’s careful strategy.”

 

“Sure, if your strategy is keeping fifteen cards in your sleeve,” countered Finn.

 

The banter went on like this for a while, and in the midst of it, Rose taught Rey the basics of a version of sabacc that didn’t require a suspension field table. Rey wasn’t great at the game by any margin, but that night was one of the greatest of her entire life. She was surrounded by her friends, and in every year she had ever lived, she had never been with so many people who she loved at the same time. Every time they laughed and teased each other, won and lost, cheered and joked, Rey couldn’t help but feel overwhelmingly grateful. A few short hours before, she had been caught up in the mess that was preparation for the battle that could very well end the Resistance once and for all. Now, she had instilled within herself a sense of hopefulness; the loyalty and compassion that she felt for her friends would always be more powerful than the ruthless First Order.

 

For the first time in a few days, Rey didn’t fear the First Order, or Ben Solo, for that matter. That night, as she drifted off to sleep, all she could think about were the times that she had spent alone on Jakku, and how grateful she was that she would never be that lonely again.

~

 

Ben Solo was afraid.

 

When he was younger, his night terrors were less frequent, and even when they did occur, his fear was quickly extinguished by his own self-assurance. Now he was significantly less sure, and couldn’t get any relief from his constant fear. On top of that, he knew that any time he had a nightmare, the Force bond would contact Rey, which was the last thing that he wanted; her hatred for him had built up enough. There was no need for him to talk to her again.

 

Ben could only think of one solution, and he knew it was dangerous. In the days of Luke’s Jedi Academy, Ben had by far been the most powerful, and his uncle had taught him certain tricks, of course, before he saw the darkness within his nephew. Most of the skills Ben had disregarded as useless, but there was one trick that he could still perform: dreamwalking, which was exactly as it sounded. It was the ability to travel directly into someone else’s subconscious and become a character in their dreams.

 

It had been a while since he’d last done it, of course. He’d tried it out on Hux, but found that the content of the General’s dreams was even darker than his own. Now, however, Ben had a new target: his equal in the light, Rey. If he succeeded, he might be able to gain some information about the resistance. It was a risk, because if she ever discovered that he was using the Force to invade her mind, she would block him out completely, and he would have gained nothing about the Resistance, and more importantly, he would have no alternative to his nightmares. Still, he had to try it, so he lay down in his sleeping quarters.

Ben closed his eyes and reached out.

 

_When he opened them, he was engulfed in daylight. His eyes slowly adjusted, and he took in the scene around him. He was standing on a desert planet; knowing Rey, it was most likely Jakku. There was a gentle warm breeze surrounding him, stirring up the sand._

_He peered into the distance, as he could see a small outpost far away._

_“Kylo Ren.”_

_Ben turned around to see Rey. She looked just like she always did, expect now she was wearing several fabrics to protect her against the sand and the sun. She had a pair of protective goggles on her forehead, and she was leaning on her staff as it poked out of the sand. “What are you doing here?” She asked._

 

_Ben panicked slightly. He didn’t know if Rey knew it was a dream or not; furthermore, he didn’t know if she knew that he was actually here. If she did discover that he was actually dreamwalking, every chance he had of her actually trusting him not to invade her privacy would be gone._

_Rey stepped forward, using her staff as a kind of walking stick, until she was up close to Ben. “If you’re here for the map, I don’t have it.”_

_Ben quickly realized that she was using her memories to create a kind of story; she was thinking back to the time when Ben had attacked Jakku in the search for the map to Luke Skywalker. He realized that he had to play along. “I would advise against lying to me. I know you have that droid in your possession, the BB unit.”_

_“You’re wrong. I sold that droid three days ago. Received fifty portions for him.”_

_“You too often forget that I can see what you’re thinking.” He gestured towards the giant piece of debris behind her that he could tell she was currently inhabiting. “If you refuse to hand it over to me, I suppose I will have to look for it myself.” Although Ben was partly suggesting to search where she lived to convince her that this was a perfectly normal dream, he also wanted to go inside because he was so curious about what her home looked like. He had only seen small glimpses of it when he last interrogated her._

_“Be my guest,” Rey said, stepping aside as Ben strode past her._

_As he got closer to the hunk of metal that was sticking out of the sand, he realized that it was an overturned AT-AT. There was a large hatch on the AT-AT’s underside that Ben could see she was using as a door. He carefully stepped inside._

_Instantly, Ben could smell old wood and paper, a sort of dry, earthy smell. The internal walls of the AT-AT were lined with old Resistance memorabilia. There were Rebel fighter helmets and old blasters that likely weren’t functional. Stacks of manuals and books about ship-building, repairs, and machines were piled in the corner, along with a few spare parts that Ben could see Rey had tinkered with. There were also a few drawings plastered on the wall; most of them were maps, but a few of them were sketches of the landscape, of people who Ben assumed were from the outpost, of insects, of objects… The majority of them were relatively skilled renderings. Ben was impressed, if only slightly._

_Finally, Ben’s gaze came to rest on a large wall that was covered in thin little lines. “What’s this?” He asked._

_“Counting,” Rey answered from the doorway._

_“Counting what?” Ben pushed, although he already knew. For some reason, he wanted to hear her say it, but she didn’t answer. He stepped closer to the wall. He reached out and pressed his bare hand to the smooth surface, running his finger along one of the carvings. He was suddenly enveloped in a strange sensation, as if he could feel everything that she had felt on each one of the days that had been documented here. Lonely. So, so lonely. It was a familiar emotion._

_“Why are you here without your soldiers?” Rey asked from somewhere behind him._

_“I don’t require the Stormtroopers to get what I need.” Ben began searching through a small pile of old ship parts, picking up each one and examining it. “It’s Hux who insists on bringing them everywhere, as a sort of intimidation tactic. He’s very proud of them, I suppose. He’s the one who has control over the entire Stormtrooper program. Of course, I see them as entirely unnecessary, but Hux… isn’t exactly open to my feedback. Even if I forbade his use of soldiers, he’d still use them behind my back; in fact, my condemnation would likely only serve as more motivation for him. That man lives to disobey me.” Ben realized only after he had talked about Hux that he was speaking very candidly and openly, which was the exact opposite of the intimidating antagonist that he was supposed to be playing. “What are these?” He asked, holding up a few dusty green packets. He was changing the subject in the hopes that it would counteract her suspicion._

_Rey walked over to him to see what he was asking about. “Oh, food.”_

_Ben raised an eyebrow. “These are… edible?”_

_“The food is inside the package, your Highness,” she said mockingly, snatching the portions out of Ben’s hands._

_“I understand that,” Ben replied, growing slightly frustrated, “I meant the dust within the packages. Do you eat dust?”_

_“You add water and it becomes food. I suppose it still tastes like dust,” she admitted half-heartedly. “I’d guess that you would know nothing about that, though.”_

_“About what?”_

_“About eating food that tastes like dust, considering you’ve lived like a king your whole life.”_

_Ben shot her a glare. “I’d be wary about speaking out of turn if I were you.”_

_“Well, isn’t it true? Haven’t you been adored by the Empire since the day you were born?” She asked._

_At first, Ben was confused, but then he realized that she was remembering a time when she didn’t know anything about Kylo Ren, let alone that he was actually Ben Solo._

_“I’ve never been adored by the Empire. In fact, every single general, officer, leader and commander have absolutely hated me since the day I was initiated into the First Order.” Again, he was conscious of revealing too much to Rey, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself._

_“Well, that’s just touching, isn’t it? A truly inspirational story of a boy who defied all odds to become the most hated man in the galaxy.”_

_She had taken it too far. Ben used the Force slam Rey backwards, and she flew back slightly, but still managed to land on her feet. “I’m done with playing around,” he proclaimed. “Hand over the droid.”_

_“If you think that you have the power to intimidate me, you must be more foolish than I thought.”_

_Ben stepped slightly closer. “Unfortunately, it seems as if you are the one who is easily fooled.”_

For the first time in months, Ben awoke without being enveloped by an overwhelming sense of terror. His idea had certainly worked, and at the same time, he had gained insight into what Rey really thought of him, even if he was disappointed by what he learned.

 

Rey still thought of him as the villain; that was clear. And why wouldn’t she? Ben had given her no reason to trust him. After all, he had destroyed so much of what she loved. Even now, he was invading her privacy by going through her mind. She had every reason to see him as the antagonist who showed up on her doorstep, and Ben had absolutely no reason to be liked or trusted by her… and yet, he so desperately wanted to be more to her than a villain. There was a time when she had seen the tiniest bit of good in him, a time when she was willing to save his life. Ben supposed that he had taken that for granted.

 

There was knock on the door of his sleeping quarters. “Supreme Leader, there has been a development in the search for the Rebel base.”

 

Ben got out of bed and tiredly rubbed his hand over his face. “Come in.”

 

The door slid open to reveal one of the lower-ranked officers, Officer Apolla. She looked terribly nervous. “Sir, unfortunately it seems that we have… lost the majority of our leads. The ships that we were following have all seemed to have cloaked themselves. They somehow seemed to have received word that we were following them.”

 

“What?! Tell me that we still have at least _some_ leads.”

 

“Yes sir, but we’re unsure if the leads we do have will cloak themselves as well.”

 

Ben let out an exasperated sigh. “Tell General Hux that I request his presence at once.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thanks for reading. I'm going to be updating this really soon, so please check back in the next few days if you're interested. And if you enjoy it, please consider leaving kudos! Thanks again! <3


	6. Chapter Six

Rey awoke with a start. Her breathing was heavy as she sat up.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

Rey looked over to see Finn sitting next to her, looking concerned. He was in the middle of taking apart and fixing a blaster.

 

Rey rubbed her forehead, taking a deep breath. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just had a really strange dream.”

 

“What was it about?”

 

She shook her head, still trying to figure it out herself. “I was back on Jakku, and Kylo Ren was there, looking for the map to Luke Skywalker… it was like a memory that I never even had.”

 

“That’s weird.” Finn looked like he was about to say something else, but he was interrupted by Poe bursting into the room.

 

“The allies are here.”

 

Rey and Finn stood up as fast as they could and followed Poe out into the hangar, where the giant door to the outside world had been opened for the first time in days. The cold was rushing in, but Rey couldn’t find it within herself to care, as she watched the Rebels’ allies land inside the hangar, and was filled with an overwhelming sense of hope. The first few pilots began to open their hatches and jump down from their ships. They greeted each other, congratulating one another, and then turned to face General Organa, bowing their heads and extending their hands to shake.

 

The lead pilot removed her helmet to reveal close-cropped fiery red hair. She greeted General Organa with a warm smile. “General, it’s a pleasure. And after all this time.”

 

“Captain Phlox,” replied General Organa, “I’ve been communicating with you and your fleet for years now. I assure you, it is my honor.”

 

Captain Phlox looked over to Finn, Rey and Poe, who were standing behind the General. “Are these the rag-tag gang of heroes I’ve heard so much about?” she asked.

 

Rey laughed. “I think ‘heroes’ is a bit of a strong word.”

 

“Considering I’ve heard everything about you three, all the way from the Outer Rim, I’d say the term is pretty accurate.” Phlox stepped closer, and extended her hand to greet Rey. “I’m assuming you’re the Force-wielder.”

 

Rey accepted her hand, and Phlox gripped it tightly. “How did you know?” Rey asked.

 

Phlox smiled. “I can tell. The people of Yavin 4, where I come from, have always been pretty Force-sensitive.”

 

Poe nearly choked on his own spit. “You’re from Yavin 4? That’s where I was born!”

 

Captain Phlox had a sudden look of recognition in her eyes. “Are you… Poe Dameron? The first kid to be born on Yavin 4?”

 

“Yes!” Poe said, with a laugh of disbelief. “Did you know my parents?”

 

Phlox smiled. “I sure did. Shara was the best pilot I’d ever seen; she was absolutely fearless.”

 

As Phlox mentioned his mother’s name, there was a solemn quality in Poe’s eyes that Rey had never seen in him before. He smiled sadly.

 

Another female pilot came up behind Captain Phlox, placing a gloved hand on her shoulder. “Captain, I hate to break up this touching moment, but we do have a few issues that are relatively time-sensitive. I suggest we get moving as quickly as possible.” The pilot had dark skin and warm eyes, though her expression was serious. She seemed to be a bit older than Phlox, as there were a few strands of grey in her curly hair, and her face was punctuated with worry lines. She turned to look at Rey, Poe, and Finn standing in front of her, and smiled briefly. “I’m Commander Laan Reo, and it’s a pleasure to meet you all, but I’m afraid we don’t have time for formalities right now. The First Order is hot on our trail, and we don’t have the resources here for a full-scale battle.” She turned to look at General Organa. “I suggest that we travel to Dantooine. We’ll all take different paths to throw off the First Order. Even if they still follow us, there’s a base on Dantooine with enough weaponry and men to fight them off.”

 

General Organa nodded approvingly.  “I’ll round up my fighters, and you round up yours. We’ll be packed up and off of this planet by dusk.”

 

~

 

A few hours passed, and Rey was growing quite tired of loading endless crates of supplies into the Millennium Falcon.  As she was walking back to grab another, she passed by a ship parked in the hangar that caught her eye. She couldn’t help but walk towards it in curiosity.

 

As she walked around to the back of the ship, she realized there were a few of the pilots who had come to assist the Rebels, sitting on crates and talking to each other. Rey recognized Captain Phlox immediately.

 

Phlox seemed to be in the middle of telling a story. “And she says to me, ‘Time to get a new chronometer!’” The other pilots laughed at what was obviously a punchline to a joke. Rey absentmindedly wished she had heard the rest. The Captain noticed her standing there, holding the crate, and she smiled. “Hey, Rey, isn’t it?” She patted the spot on the crate next to her. “Come here, sit down for a while.”

 

“I wouldn’t want to intrude…” Rey began to protest.

 

Phlox laughed lightly. “You’re not intruding. Don’t worry about it. Sit.”

 

Rey did as she was told, because she respected the Captain, but she couldn’t help but feel uneasy, as she was worried the other pilots didn’t exactly want her there.

 

“So, Rey, you like the ship?” Phlox asked.

 

Rey felt relieved that she was asking about something that she actually knew the answer to. “Yes, it’s fantastic. It’s a Ghtroc 690, isn’t it?”

 

“Sure is. One of the first of its kind, too. Before they mass-produced them, they made them like this.” Phlox reached up and patted the side of the ship.

 

“I repaired one of these once, on Jakku. Only got the chance to fly it a few hundred metres though. It was stolen from me by these dirty scavengers,” Rey recalled.

 

As Rey spoke, a few of the pilots sitting across from her were whispering amongst themselves, and when she finished speaking, they looked expectantly at her. They all looked to be in their late teens, although the youngest seemed to be only fifteen or sixteen. He had tan skin, and long hair that was neatly tied back. “Excuse me,” he said to Rey, “but we just really want to know… did you actually fight Kylo Ren?”

 

“Darius,” Phlox chided, “leave her alone. She probably doesn’t want to talk about that.”

 

“No, it’s all right,” Rey assured the Captain, and then turned to the boy, who she assumed was named Darius. “I did fight him, actually.”

 

“Like, with a light saber and everything?”

 

The girl sitting beside him smacked his shoulder playfully. “Don’t be stupid, Darius. Light sabers are impractical, and where would she even get one?”

 

“Actually, I did use one,” Rey said, “it belonged to Luke Skywalker.”

 

Darius’ eyes lit up. “No. Really? _The_ Luke Skywalker?”

 

“Don’t encourage him,” Phlox laughed.

 

“Just one more question,” Darius pleaded.

 

“Okay, shoot,” Rey agreed.

 

“Did Kylo Ren use the Force on you?”

 

Rey shrugged. “Well, he did, but I used the Force on him, so I suppose it’s even.”

 

“No way!” The girl sitting beside Darius exclaimed.

 

“See? I told you,” Darius said, crossing his arms triumphantly. “You owe me 3 credits.”

 

“Guys, that’s enough. Go help with the supplies,” Phlox told the small group of teenagers. Reluctantly, the group stood up and walked away, but as they left, Rey could hear them beginning to argue over whether she was really telling the truth, which made Rey chuckle to herself slightly.

 

“Don’t mind them,” Captain Phlox told her, “they’ve grown up with stories about Luke Skywalker and the Force and fighting and light sabers and all that. They’re pretty attached to the idea of heroes.”

 

“Is that why they joined the Resistance?” Rey asked.

 

Phlox’s expression grew solemn. “Not exactly. We rescued them when they were young. Their parents… sold them, unfortunately. To junk traders.”

 

Rey’s heart nearly stopped. Ben’s words to her in the throne room ran through her head. _Filthy junk traders. Drinking money. Dead in a pauper’s grave._ “…That’s terrible,” she managed to say. The child in her heart wondered why no one had ever come to rescue her, to whisk her away into the Resistance.

 

“Yeah. I’ve kind of grown up with them," Phlox continued, "most of the time I feel like their older sister or something. If anything was ever to happen to any of them, I don’t know what I’d do.”

 

“Aren’t they pilots? Aren’t you constantly worried about them?”

 

Captain Phlox laughed. “Of course I am. But I know there’s nothing more important to them than fighting the First Order. For them it’s a kind of… vengeance thing. So I’d never stop them from doing what they believe to be right.”

 

“Is there anything more important to you than fighting the First Order?”

 

“Of course,” she said, with a wistful smile. “Amelia. Most lovely girl in the whole Outer Rim. I promised her that when I came back alive, once the First Order was defeated, we’d get married.”

 

“That’s so nice,” Rey said, beaming.

 

“Yeah. Do you have anyone?”

 

“Me? No.”

 

Phlox laughed. “Come on. You’re telling me that you’re the most powerful chick in the galaxy and you don’t have mobs of suitors breaking down your door?”

 

“Most powerful might be a bit of a stretch.”

 

“Don’t put yourself down. You took on Kylo Ren and you won. There’s no way there’s not at least one person who’s interested.”

 

Rey shrugged. Every time someone referred to Ben as Kylo Ren, she couldn’t help but feel slightly strange. She just didn’t see him Kylo Ren anymore. He was more than just a scary name and a scary mask. He was a person; although, she knew she’d never be able to explain that to Phlox.

 

“What about that Finn kid? From what I can tell, he likes you.”

 

“He doesn’t. I mean, he may have at some point, but he has someone else now.”

 

Phlox paused for a moment. “You’re sure there’s no one on your mind? I’ve seen that face before. That’s the I’m-thinking-about-someone face.”

 

“Well, I suppose I am thinking about _someone_. But not at all in the way that you likely think about Amelia.”

 

“Aha! I knew it. What’s he like?”

 

“Absolutely terrible,” Rey said, with a laugh.

 

“I’m sure he can’t be _that_ bad.”

 

For a moment, Rey reflected on Ben’s past actions. “…Actually, he can.”

 

“Whoever this mystery guy is, he’s apparently captured your attention, which must mean you see something in him that maybe other people don’t.” Phlox stood up, and placed a hand on Rey’s shoulder. “I’d love to stay and chat, but unfortunately I’m expected to actually do things around here. Comes with the title, unfortunately. Good luck, kid.”

 

Rey watched Phlox jog in the opposite direction, and thought about the conversation they’d just had. Phlox had made it seem as if Rey was interested in Ben _in that way._ ‘Am I?’ she asked herself for a brief moment before realizing how ridiculous that sounded. ‘Of course not,’ she thought, but she couldn’t completely eliminate the seed of doubt that had been sown in her mind.


	7. Chapter Seven

Rey only let herself think about Ben Solo for a few seconds more, before pushing it aside and letting her curiosity take over. The whole time that she had been speaking with Phlox and the other pilots, she had been wondering about the ship that loomed behind them. The Captain had told her about it, but she was still curious as to what it looked like on the inside. She’d only ever seen disassembled versions of it; scattered pieces in Plutt’s stockpile, or broken shards laying abandoned in the sand. Now she was alone, and here it was, fully formed in front of her, and she couldn’t help but be awed. It wasn’t a very physically beautiful ship, and it sure wasn’t built to be very nimble or graceful, but Rey could feel the power that even a small freighter bore. She stepped cautiously towards it, worrying that if anyone saw her messing around with it, she’d get in trouble. Eventually she was close enough that she could see inside the open door. She looked over both shoulders, hoping no one was watching her, but they all seemed to be too busy with moving resources and making plans. For a moment, she felt a pang of guilt at not doing her job and helping them, but there was a tiny voice in her brain that reminded her she might never get the chance to explore a Ghtroc 690 ever again. She stepped inside.   

 

She was relieved to find that there was no one in there with her. The battery of the ship hummed softly, and the lights on a few of the controls blinked on and off, making her so desperately want to ignite the ship’s engines, just to feel its energy beneath her, but she knew that if she did, she’d surely be caught, so she resisted. She sat down in the pilot’s seat, letting her fingers run over the polished controls. The last time she had touched controls just like these, they were covered in sand and dust, with wires and broken pieces sticking out every which way. It was strange to see the ship in the way it was supposed to be assembled. When she had repaired it on Jakku, the control panel had been missing the majority of its keys and buttons, so the panel looked like a strange skeleton, and it was difficult to tell which controls were which. Now, the controls were perfectly formed, albeit a bit worn away from use. After all, Phlox had told her that this ship was one of the first of its kind.

 

She sat at the control panel for a moment longer, then silently stood, becoming curious about what mysteries the other sections of the ship held. As she rounded the corner to explore the rest of the ship, she was surprised by a face appearing in front of her, causing her to shriek slightly.

 

It was Commander Reo. “What are you doing here?” She asked, her voice slightly stern.

 

“I’m so sorry,” Rey apologized, taking a step backwards, “I was just curious. I didn’t mean to intrude.”

 

The Commander’s expression softened, and she let out an airy laugh. “I’m just messing with you. It’s fine, really; in fact, I completely intended to show you around some of the ships we brought. I didn’t think you’d be interested in a light freighter, though…”

 

Rey laughed as well, mostly out of relief. “Oh, I repaired one these ships once. I wondered what it’s actually supposed to look like when it’s all put together.” She looked around the ship’s hallway as she spoke, admiring how clean and uncluttered it was.

 

Commander Reo took note of the wonder in Rey’s eyes as she looked at the ship. “Well, we’ve certainly got a lot of supplies to take to Dantooine, and I’m sure one of the pilots would like to take a rest. Do you think you’d be able to fly this for us? I’m assuming you’re a pilot.”

 

“What? I mean, yes! Yes. Absolutely.” Rey tried to maintain a certain amount of professionalism, but she was truly very excited. Finally, something that she actually _wanted_ to do.

 

“All right, it’s settled then. I’ll let the others know. You can make yourself at home and bring your belongings onto the ship, if you’d like.”

 

The Commander was about to leave the ship when Rey stopped her. “Excuse me, I just have one question.”

 

“Anything.”

 

“There’s room for two passengers on this ship… do you have anyone in mind as to who you’d like to travel with me?” Rey asked.

 

Commander Reo thought for a moment. “Whoever you’d like to accompany you would be fine with me. From what I’ve heard, General Organa and the Wookie are travelling in the Falcon, so I would assume they wouldn’t be an option, but I’m sure someone like Dameron would be available.”

 

Rey nodded curtly, and as Commander Reo walked out of the ship, Rey remembered that she should probably thank her, and called out a quick ‘thank you’ as she walked away, hoping that she heard it. Once the Commander was gone, and Rey was alone in the freighter, her face broke out into a grin, and she couldn’t help but happily jump a few times to let out her excitement. She gave the ship’s chamber one last look before leaving the freighter and walking quickly in the direction of the sleeping quarters.

 

Rey didn’t have many belongings; in fact, she hardly had any. Back on Jakku, she had filled her home with maps, drawings, ship manuals, and parts from crafts she had salvaged; however, she had left Jakku in a bit of a hurry, and didn’t exactly have time to pack up anything that she wanted to keep. All that she had to call her own now was her staff, a small pack of clothing and supplies the Resistance gave her, and both halves of the broken light saber. She gathered her belongings and placed them in her bag, which she slung over her shoulder. She began to walk back to the freighter, but she spotted Poe having a conversation with Finn next to the Falcon, so she quickly jogged over to them.

 

“No word of a lie, he drank the whole thing! I swear,” Finn was saying as Rey approached, and he and Poe seemed to be laughing themselves sick over whatever they were talking about.

 

“Hey, Poe?” Rey asked.

 

Poe wiped his eyes, as they had watered slightly from laughing too hard. “How’s it going, Rey?” he asked, wearing his trademark grin.

 

“Not bad. I came to ask: do you have any particular plans for the journey to Dantooine? Because the Commander asked me to pilot one of the Ghtroc 690s, and I need a co-pilot.”

 

“Oh, yeah, sure. No problem. Let me just grab my stuff. We should be leaving within the next hour, I think,” Poe said. He gave Finn a companionable slap on the shoulder before walking in the direction of his belongings.

 

Rey sat down on a crate, figuring that she’d at least chart their course while she had some free time. She pulled a map of the galaxy out of her bag of Resistance-provided supplies. “Kriff,” she muttered to herself, realizing that Dantooine, where they were headed, was in the Raioballo Sector, which was on the other side on the galaxy. She marked the Hydian Way on the map, planning to follow the hyperspace route all the way to the Tingel Arm.

 

“Rey?” Finn said.

 

“Yes?” She looked up from her map.

 

“Say, for example… there was a hypothetical situation, in which there was a person, theoretically, who had… feelings, for another person. For example.”

 

“Are you… asking me for advice?”

 

“No, absolutely not. No way. This is all speculative,” Finn told her. “Anyway. Say, for example, there was a person who had feelings for another person, but the person who has the feelings doesn’t exactly know if the other person… feels the same way. What should they do?”

 

Rey knew Finn had to be talking about Rose, but she didn’t let on. “I think… If this person has feelings for someone else, they should tell them, no matter what the consequences would be. Because you can’t keep that kind of stuff inside, Finn. Life’s way too short not to tell people that you appreciate them, even if they maybe don’t feel it the exact same way you do.”

 

Finn gave her a half-hearted smile. “I was really hoping you wouldn’t say that. Now I have to actually…” He chuckled.

 

“Don’t worry, I bet it’ll turn out great,” Rey assured him.

 

“I wouldn’t be so sure if I were you.”

 

“Rey!” Poe called from across the hangar. He was standing beside the freighter with a few boxes of supplies. “You ready to go?”

 

“Coming!” Rey yelled back, and stuffed the map back into her bag. “Good luck, Finn.”

 

“Thanks,” he said with a sigh, “I’ll need it.”

 

Rey jogged in the direction of the Ghtroc 690, and once she got there, Poe had already loaded the last few crates onto the ship. Rey stepped inside, pressing the switch to close the door behind her. She entered the cockpit, and Poe was sitting in the co-pilot’s seat. Somehow, he seemed out of place. From what Rey had learned about him, he was only ever in the fastest ship, leading the fleet. It seemed strange for him to be a passenger in a light freighter, of all things.

 

Rey set down her belongings and sat in the pilot’s seat. “Should we wait for the rest of the fleet to leave?”

 

“No, there’d be no point,” Poe replied, “there would just be a bunch of traffic. Better to leave now.”

 

Rey ignited the engines and revved up the machine, feeling it hum beneath her. It wasn’t quite as satisfying as controlling the Falcon, but she still enjoyed the rush. In the blink of an eye, the freighter was up and out of the hangar, and the cockpit was filled with the rich colours of the sunset, as the light glinted off of the snow. Rey raced high over the icy terrain, probably faster than she should have, but she just couldn’t help it. She hadn’t flown like this in a while.

 

Once she was far enough away from the hangar, she lined herself up with the Hydian Way and shifted to light speed. She was surprised at how responsive the ship was for apparently being so old. It was the opposite of the Falcon, which was unpredictable at best.

 

Rey heard the tracker beep, showing a few dots on the sonar.

 

“Yup, the rest of the Resistance is following us,” Poe said, “so you better not get us lost, kid.” He was only teasing, though Rey couldn’t help but feel a bit of pressure to succeed. Nothing that she couldn’t handle, though.

 

The freighter quickly jumped along at light speed, and Rey slowly realized that for the next few hours, she didn’t have much else to do, considering that the hyperspace route she was following would essentially do the work for her. Poe seemed to be just as bored; he got comfortable and propped his legs up on the control panel.

 

“Rey, can I ask you something?” Poe said, after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

 

“Are you going to ask me for advice? Because that’ll be the second time today.”

 

Poe laughed. “In a manner of speaking, yes. But, I mean… who else would I tell this to?”

 

Rey was intrigued. “Is everything okay?”

 

“Yes. Well, no.” He let out an exasperated sigh. “It’s a long and complicated story.”

 

“We’re going to be here for a while. You don’t have to tell me about it, but… you seem like you’re struggling with something.” Rey was worried about Poe. She’d always pictured him as carefree, and not really the kind of guy to think about his feelings a lot, but so far he had betrayed those expectations.

 

Poe was quiet for a moment. “You’re close with Finn, right? I mean, relatively?”

 

“Yes, he was what got me into all of this,” she said, with a laugh, remembering how he insisted on grabbing her hand and pulling her away from danger.

 

“Then you’ve got to know how great he is, right?”

 

“Of course.”

 

“It’s just that… lately he’s been spending a lot of time with Rose, and not necessarily a lot of time with me. Which is fine, because he’s his own person, he can be friends with whoever he wants to be friends with, like I shouldn’t attack him for that, it’s his decision,” Poe began to ramble, but grew quiet. “Recently, I’ve been getting this bad feeling whenever they’re together.”

 

“Do you not like Rose?” Rey asked.

 

“Oh, no, yeah, of course I do! Of course. She’s really sweet, and I’m sure she’s really great for him. I just… I’m just being selfish.”

 

Now Rey was confused. At first she had thought Poe was trying to tell her that he was worried about Finn, but now she wasn’t so sure. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re trying to tell me.”

 

Poe took a deep breath. “I’m in love with Finn.”

 

Rey had to stop her jaw from falling to the floor. At first she was surprised; how could that be? But the more she thought about it, the more it made sense: the longing looks, and all the time they spent together, even Finn wearing Poe’s jacket.

 

“I hope you’re okay with that,” Poe said with an anxious laugh, “because this is going to be a pretty awkward trip if you’re not.”

 

“No, don’t worry about it!” Rey assured him. “I’m fine with it. Really.”

 

Poe breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank god. I’ve never told anyone before.”

 

“…Really?”

 

He nodded solemnly in reply.

 

“I’m sorry, Poe. He just asked me for advice about Rose today. It just doesn’t seem likely he’d feel the same way.”

 

“Believe me, I know.” He stared out at the stars whizzing by as they travelled at light speed. “God, I love him. He’s just so caring. And so brave. I might seem like I’m not afraid of taking out ships or anything, but the truth is, without the Resistance behind me, I’d be nothing. But Finn—he didn’t need the Resistance to defect from the First Order. He saved my life. He took on Kylo Ren alone. He’s just amazing to me.” Poe was quiet for a moment, but then broke the silence with a laugh. “Well, now that I’ve told you _my_ deepest secret…”

 

Rey laughed too. “Well, I don’t really have any secrets,” she said, but as soon as she did she knew that she was lying. No one in the Resistance knew that she had been communicating with Ben Solo, or as they knew him, Kylo Ren. She didn’t know if she could trust Poe with that kind of information. After all, Poe didn’t exactly love the Supreme Leader, as was the case with most reasonable people. However, if for some reason the Force bond started up while she was on this ship with him, then she’d have to be able to explain why she was talking to a wall.

 

“You’re sure you’re not hiding anything?” Poe asked, as if he could read her mind. “I mean, I think you’re about the most interesting girl I’ve ever met.”  

 

“Well, thank you, but… there is this one thing, but you have to promise me you won’t reveal it to anyone else.”

 

Poe looked intrigued. “Go on.”

 

“You’re aware that I went to see Luke Skywalker, to train with him?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“While I was there, I… formed this connection. Using the Force. Not out of choice, of course.”

 

Poe looked disturbed. “You formed a connection with Luke Skywalker?”

 

“No! No. With Ben Solo. I mean, Kylo Ren.”

 

Poe’s expression went from distaste to downright confusion. “I’m sorry, what? You used the Force to connect with the leader of the First Order?”

 

“It was against my will. It was against both of our wills, actually. It was a mental connection, where we were in each other’s minds. It was induced by Emperor Snoke. He was trying to use Kylo to lure me to the First Order’s ship in attempt to turn him.”

 

“Did he?”

 

“Did he what?”

 

“Lure you.”

 

Rey sighed. “Yes. But I truly thought that if I could change Kylo Ren’s mind, that I would decide the fate of the entire galaxy. I was wrong. I was much too naïve.”

 

Poe looked even more shocked than before. “How are you here? How are you alive?”

 

“Snoke misjudged Kylo’s character. He turned. He killed Snoke, and fought off the Plaetorian guards.”

 

“What? I thought you said you were wrong. It seems to me like you were right.”

 

“I was naïve in the way that I thought after he rebelled, Kylo would join the Resistance, that he would redeem himself, but that wasn’t what he wanted.”

 

“Then what _did_ he want?”

 

“A new order in the galaxy. He wanted me to join him,” she said, and laughed out of disbelief.

 

Poe’s confusion disappeared, and he narrowed his eyes at Rey. “He asked you… to join him?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Did he ask anyone else to join him? Or was it just you? Like, how exactly did he say it?”

 

“Um, he said ‘join me, please,’ I believe. And he reached out his hand.”

 

 “Wow.” It was his turn to laugh. “I can’t believe the Supreme Leader of the First Order is in love with you.”

 

“What?! He’s not _in love with me_. That’s ridiculous.” She gave Poe’s shoulder a shove.

 

“He practically proposed to you. What do you think ruling the galaxy with him involves?”

 

“I mean…” Rey knew Poe was kidding, but she’d actually never thought about it before. What _did_ Ben mean when he had asked her to join him?

 

“God, wow. I can’t believe you never told us about that. Like, you could have died or something.”

 

“You know that I can’t admit to the Rebels that I’ve been in such close quarters with Kylo Ren, of all people. They’d eat me alive.” Rey paused for a moment, weighing her words carefully. “Oh, and there’s one more thing.”

 

Poe looked up.

 

“…The connection is technically still open.”

 

“What? Can he like,” he dropped his voice to a whisper, “…hear us?”

 

Rey snorted. “No, he can’t hear us. I can tell when we’re connected, and he can only really see and hear me anyway. I would assume that he would only be able to see someone Force-sensitive.”

 

“How does it, like, start up?”

 

“It seems random, but I figure that it happens whenever either of us is particularly scared or angry or sad or something. Any strong emotion.”

 

“Aw,” he cooed.

 

“What?” Rey asked indignantly.

 

“Nothing, it’s just… that’s kind of sweet.”

 

Rey scrunched up her face in disgust. “In what way?”

 

“You’re reaching out for each other, it’s nice! Don’t give me that face!”

 

“I thought you’d be more against the idea of us...” she searched for the right word, “…fraternizing.”

 

Poe chuckled. “Yeah, I guess. But now that I know he killed Snoke, and that he doesn’t even want to be part of the First Order… I don’t know. He seems less intimidating.”

 

“He honestly hasn’t been intimidating to me for a long time. On Ahch-To, he became a very different person to me. There are reasons for the things he has done. He’s not just mindlessly destructive.”

 

Poe gave her a questioning glance.

 

“Not that I agree with what he’s done!” Rey defended. “Of course I don’t. It’s just that I’ve learned about his past. He’s experienced… many things in his lifetime.” She became lost in thought for a moment, feeling a pang in her heart as she remembered the loneliness and fear she had seen when she had looked into his mind, how it had been so similar an emotion to what she felt.

 

“It seems to me like all this _fraternizing_ is getting to you,” Poe said, smirking.

 

“Kriff off.”


	8. Chapter Eight

Ben Solo was seated sideways in the Emperor’s throne, with one of his legs draped over the arm of the chair, when the elevator doors opened, and General Hux stepped out, walking in the direction of the throne.

 

“Supreme Leader Ren, we have received good news. We’ve managed to track the Rebels’ ships through light speed. At first, it seemed as if they were headed towards Hoth, along the Corellian Trade Spine, but we’ve followed them, and they seem to have turned around and are now backtracking along the Hydian Way.”

 

“Stay vigilant, General,” Ben replied. “You’ve been deceived by the Rebels before. I’d advise you not to let it happen again. Send a few divisions to Hoth to clear the area. Make sure they aren’t just trying to distract us.” Ben was growing more and more restless. It felt like they had been following the Resistance for years, and yet they still couldn’t attack. He worried that the longer he was away from the fight, the less conviction he would have.

 

Hux’s face seemed to twitch in anger at being chided yet again by Ben, but he restrained himself. “Yes, Supreme Leader.” He turned and left, leaving Ben alone in the throne room. It was similar to the one that Snoke used to occupy, but not exactly the same, though a few Praetorian guards stood watch around the perimeter of the room.

 

Ben lay back, letting himself be draped completely over both arms of the throne. Exhaustion tugged at the back of his mind, annoying him. All he seemed to want to do was sleep all the time. He couldn’t understand why. In any case, he didn’t want to make the trip all the way to his personal chambers just so he could sleep. He was comfortable where he was.

 

“Guards,” he said, “leave me.” The Praetorian guards did as they were told, and neatly marched out of the room, disappearing into the elevators.

 

Ben laid back, and for the second time, he closed his eyes and reached out into the ever-familiar darkness.

 

_When he opened them, he was standing on a plateau overlooking the sea. He recognized the place from Rey’s mind: it was her lonely island in the middle of the ocean._

_Suddenly, Ben heard a scream. He turned around to see a gaping hole in the middle of the rock, leading down somewhere dark. He felt a pull to it, like a magnet, and stepped closer, looking over the edge. He peered down, and to his surprise, saw water, where deep down below, something was splashing and struggling. Another strangled scream emanated from the water. Ben recognized it in an instant: Rey. It was her dream, after all._

_Ben felt a strange pang in his heart as he realized she was having a nightmare where she was drowning at the bottom of a gigantic dark hole. He instantly felt sympathetic towards her, as he had nightmares like that almost every single night. For a moment, he forgot that he was actually in the dream, and wasn’t just a silent observer, but then he suddenly had the revelation that he had the power to stop her from suffering. His conscience told him that it didn’t make a lot of sense to help his worst enemy, rather than just letting her struggle, especially when it didn’t affect real life, but somehow he couldn’t stop himself from pulling off his hooded cape, gloves and boots, tossing them aside. He took a deep breath, and dove in._

_The distance from the cliff to the water was much farther than he expected, and he almost had a moment to think before he plunged underneath the waves. The freezing water surrounded him, disorienting him for a moment, but it didn’t distract him. He fought against the current and quickly broke to the surface, gasping for air for a moment and looking around. He couldn’t see Rey anywhere, so he dove back under the waves. He squinted through the murky blue colour, and finally spotted her, sinking listlessly, deeper and deeper. He swam towards her, but the current pushed heavily against him, making it nearly impossible to advance at all. There was a point where he was halfway to her unconscious body, and he almost convinced himself to give up, but he remembered all the night terrors he’d had for years, and couldn’t bring himself to quit. He finally reached her, wrapping one arm around her, and using the other to paddle towards the surface. He broke the surface and gasped for breath, desperately needing oxygen. Rey still wasn’t showing any signs of life, which didn’t worry Ben, as it was just a dream; she wasn’t actually dying, and would be conscious in a few moments. He still dragged her ashore though, as he just didn’t feel right just leaving her at the edge of the water._

_It took a moment, but finally she let out a sputtering cough and her eyes flickered open. Her breath was heaving and panicked, and when she saw Ben kneeling over her, she quickly made a motion to squirm away, but he instinctively pinned down her arms._

_“Stop,” he told her, but he didn’t really know what else to say, as he’d never actually saved someone before. “I’m not going to hurt you,” he said finally._

_“Then why are you holding me down?!”_

_He let go quickly. “So you don’t hurt yourself.”_

_She sat up, glancing down momentarily at her soaking-wet clothes. “Fantastic job you’ve done of that so far. I’m freezing,” she said indignantly._

_Ben was confused. He had just saved Rey’s life, but she didn’t seem grateful in the slightest; in fact, she was acting a lot like a stubborn child. Wasn’t she supposed to at least thank him or something?_

_Rey stood up, brushing some of the sand and debris off of her wet clothes. She stopped when she noticed Ben staring at her, still kneeling on the ground. She hesitated for a moment, and then cautiously offered a hand to him so that he could stand up. He accepted it, and stood up. Suddenly, he was very close to her. She was wearing a standoffish and quizzical expression, but the distance between them alone meant that Ben couldn’t help but feel some sort of pull to her._

Suddenly, the scene fell away, and the dream ended. Ben could hear his heart beat as he drifted back into reality. He lay there for a moment, before sitting up and contemplating what had just happened.

 

He turned and sat in the throne normally, staring at the empty throne room surrounding him. He couldn’t figure out why he had felt the need to interfere with Rey’s nightmare. Why had he gone so far as to rescue her? The dreams had no bearing on real life, and even if they did, it would actually be helpful to his cause to let her drown. Perhaps it was the all-too-familiar look of fear and loneliness in her eyes that meant he couldn’t just stand by and watch. Snoke was right about one thing: Ben had compassion for her, and he knew that if he wasn’t careful, it would be his downfall.

 

“You again,” a familiar voice said, causing Ben to look up quickly. Rey was standing in front of him, hands at her side, fists clenched in fear and maybe even anger.

 

He had no idea what to say; he was genuinely surprised. Usually he was the one who initiated the Force bond, (albeit against his will), because of his panic after his nightmares. Now, however, he was feeling no sense of panic, so Rey had to have been the one to initiate the connection using her emotions.

 

“I’ve figured out why the Force is connecting us so often,” she stated, trying to sound clear and calm, but her shaky voice betrayed her true feelings.

 

Ben stood up, stepping towards her. “You’re afraid,” he said softly, ignoring her statement.

 

“It happens whenever either of us feels something particularly strong. That’s why we kept connecting after you had those nightmares.” Rey was only saying things that Ben had already figured out, so he wasn’t really listening to her; instead, he was trying to connect the dots as to why she would be afraid. Sure, she’d had a nightmare, but he’d rescued her, hadn’t he? Why would she still be scared?

 

“Why are you afraid?” Ben insisted.

 

“I’m not afraid. Just… confused.”

 

“Confused about what?” He stood, and stepped closer to her.

 

“Why do you care?”

 

“Well, it seems like it’s pretty important to you to unravel the _mystery_ of why the Force is connecting us,” he said, in a slightly mocking tone, “so forgive me for assuming that whatever you’re having nightmares about would be significant.”

 

Rey narrowed her eyes in suspicion. “I never told you I had a nightmare.”

 

Ben panicked. “Y-you didn’t need to. I can see that look in your eyes. You’re scared,” he quickly covered up, “and besides, you just finished saying that my nightmares were causing the Force bond before. Why wouldn’t it be the same for you?” Ben paused for a moment, analyzing Rey’s expression, hoping that she was buying it. “If we’re going to figure out how this connection works, then I need to know what’s causing you this internal conflict.”

 

“What, so you can use my personal weaknesses to destroy the Resistance? Absolutely not,” she spat, but she seemed to think for a moment and realized how ridiculous that sounded. She breathed a sigh of defeat, and looked down. “I keep… having these dreams about you.”

 

Ben was surprised that Rey had given in and decided to talk about her dreams; up until this point, she had proven herself to be endlessly fiery and stubborn. More than anything, though, he was curious to find out how she felt, considering she thought it was her mind alone making up these scenarios with him in them.

 

“And what am I like, in these dreams?” Ben knew it was a strange question, but he just had to know.

 

Rey shook her head. “It’s not you. Well, he looks like you, and he sounds like you, but he’s different somehow.”

 

“Different?”

 

“Sometimes he’s cruel and invasive and selfish, just like you are.” Rey thought for moment. “But other times, he does things that you would absolutely never do, like… save my life.” She chuckled, as if she still couldn’t believe it. “But I suppose it’s just my mind trying to justify the way that you are.”

 

Rey’s words stung, and Ben knew that he shouldn’t ask for any more information, yet he couldn’t help but push. “And what way is that?”

 

“Cold. Heartless.” Rey seemed to be looking right through Ben.

 

He stayed silent, returning her gaze.

 

“Maybe you didn’t start out that way, but… it’s what you’ve become.” She seemed to gain courage as she spoke. “You said it yourself: you’re a monster.”

 

Ben stepped closer once again. He felt the odd magnetic pull, just as he had in the dream, but he ignored it. He leaned in closer and lowered his voice, almost to a whisper. “And yet, if you keep having dreams about monsters, what kind of person does that make you?”


	9. Chapter Nine

Before Rey could even think about replying, the connection closed.

 

“Rey, are you okay?” Poe poked his head in through the door to the sleeping quarters of the ship. He had been up front piloting while she had slept. “I put the ship on autopilot to come check on you. I heard you talking to…” He trailed off.

 

Rey took a deep breath. She clenched her hands so they wouldn’t shake. “I’m fine. I just had a strange dream, and it confused me, so I connected us. It was my fault.”

 

“What did he say?”

 

She shook her head. “What he normally says. He accuses me of being afraid or vulnerable or something, and then he’s gone.”

 

“…What was the dream about?”

 

Rey laughed lightly. “You’re going to make fun of me.”

 

“No, I’m not,” Poe defended, and gave her a pleading look.

 

She sighed. “All right, fine. It was a nightmare, where I was drowning, and then he saved me.” She felt embarrassed just saying it out loud.

 

“Who? Kylo?” Poe couldn’t help but laugh a little bit. “Man, you’re worse than I thought.”

 

“You promised you wouldn’t make fun of me,” she protested, but by that time he had already left the room and returned to the cockpit. She followed him, not wanting to go back to sleep, even though she was still a bit tired. “How far is it until Dantooine?” She asked, sitting in the co-pilot’s seat, next to Poe.

 

“I thought you were supposed to be the navigator,” Poe replied.

 

“Don’t tell me you’ve gotten us lost,” Rey said, slowly coming out of her dazed state.

 

“I’m kidding, I know exactly where we are, relax. We should be arriving on Dantooine in about seven hours.” He messed with some of the controls. “You should go back to sleep, if you’re tired. You’ve only been sleeping for a few hours, after all. You need your rest.”

 

“What, so I can close my eyes and see him again? Absolutely not.”

 

A smirk tugged at the corner of Poe’s mouth. “Suit yourself.”

 

Rey was quiet for a moment, looking down at her hands. “…What do you dream about?”

 

“Nothing exciting, really,” Poe replied. “Home, usually. Where I lived when I was younger. My parents.”

 

“Do you miss it?” Rey asked.

 

“Of course I do. I mean, I love the life that I have now. I’m… satisfied, but sometimes I wish I could have taken a different path, you know? Lived my life with my family, stayed in one place for a while…”

 

“Believe me, I know a lot about staying in one place, and it’s not all that people make it out to be.”

 

“Why, is it boring?”

 

Rey shrugged. “Lonely, mostly. I guess it would be different if you were with your family.” She paused for a moment. “What were they like? Your family?”

 

Poe smiled sadly. “The best. The absolute best. Everyone thinks I’m the best pilot in the Resistance, but I learned everything I knew from my mother. She’s the one who should be getting all the credit. She was just this absolutely fiery woman. Fearless. Scared the hell out of my dad,” he said, with a laugh.

 

“I would have loved to meet her,” Rey said.

 

“Believe me, she would have loved to meet _you_.”

 

~

 

Ben was restless.

 

He was supposed to be spending all hours in his throne room, or on the bridge, making plans and strategizing, but lately, he hadn’t been able to focus. Every time he’d tried to advise his generals or receive information, his mind had just jumped to the conversations he’d had with Rey over the past few days. He didn’t know why it seemed to be affecting him so much. He’d figured that it was because he hadn’t actually been in the action for a while, and that he just needed to expend some energy, which is why he was now hitting a punching bag ruthlessly.

 

His fists landed on the bag in rapid succession, barely giving himself time to breathe. He hadn’t bothered to wrap his hands in anything, which he now realized was a mistake, but he only let the pain motivate him more. Once again, his mind wandered, and eventually rested on Rey. He had almost completely screwed everything up, several times. He knew the consequences of her finding out that he was using dreamwalking on her, and yet, he could never stop himself from asking stupid questions, or doing stupid things. He knew that he could manipulate her, and for the most part he had succeeded, as the dreams seemed to be disorienting her, but he knew it would never be an effective strategy if the dreams disoriented him too.

 

There was a burning rage inside of him, causing his punches to land even harder. At first, he thought he was angry at her, but the more he thought about it, the more he realized he was angry at himself. He had sacrificed so much to the dark side, and he had almost completely destroyed it, all because of his compassion towards the girl who made him so weak. In all his life, he’d never met someone who was just as lonely and afraid as he was, and yet, he wasn’t compassionate towards her because of her weaknesses; her most astonishing feature was her fearless hope. She was constantly sure of herself, never doubting herself for a second. More than anything, she had a strong sense of right and wrong. Ben possessed none of this.

 

He let his hands fall to his sides, breathing heavily. Unsurprisingly, he noticed some blood on the punching bag, and briefly examined his hands, realizing that his knuckles were bleeding severely. He slowly stretched out his fingers, feeling the pain shoot through his joints.

 

He could feel the rift within him growing; it tore him apart more with every second, and usually it activated his temper, but now, strangely enough, it made him contemplative and serene. He thought of Rey again, but this time not out of malice or resentment; instead, he felt an inexplicable companionship. He’d felt like this a few times before, but in those instances he could easily push it to the back of his mind, tucking it away in his subconscious. Now, however, it was like he’d lost that ability, and now he couldn’t get her out of his head.

 

~

 

As Rey made notes on her map, she suddenly felt an excruciating pain in her hands, causing her to drop the piece of charcoal she was using to write. She hastily interlocked her hands, and instinctively pulled them in towards her chest, unintentionally letting out a whimper of pain.

 

“Rey, are you okay back there? What’s going on?” Poe asked anxiously from the cockpit. He raced into the room to see Rey hunched over the drafting table. He placed a hand on her shoulder, and she sat up, revealing her hands to him.

 

“I don’t know,” she said, gritting her teeth slightly. “It just hurts so much.”

 

Poe examined the backs of her hands, and was stunned to find that Rey’s hands were covered in tiny lightning shaped scars, glowing almost blue beneath her skin, as if her veins had come to the surface. “What the hell…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this is really short, but the next chapter is going to be a lot longer and a lot more is going to happen! Stay tuned <3


	10. Chapter Ten

For the rest of the journey, Poe kept a watchful eye on Rey, all the way until they entered the atmosphere of the lush planet, Dantooine. The pain in her hands had quickly faded, but she was still quite wary and afraid; however, she almost completely forgot about it as they soared over the trees towards the entrance of the base. The base had been established before the Galactic Civil War, but abandoned for several years, until it was rebuilt by the Resistance recently.

 

Poe was sitting in the pilot’s seat; ever since the hand thing, he hadn’t let her anywhere near the controls, as he was worried about her. She couldn’t help but feel disappointed, as she had been looking forward to landing the Ghtroc 690, but she knew that Poe was right, and that she shouldn’t risk it.

 

Poe carefully set the ship down just outside of the headquarters. Rey got up from her seat, grabbing her belongings and one of the crates, and getting ready to exit the ship. Poe got up and pressed the switch to open the door, but stopped Rey from exiting.

 

“Are you sure you can carry that?” Poe asked.

 

“Poe, I’m fine, really.”

 

“Okay. Just- promise me that you’ll talk to General Organa about it?”

 

“I will! I promise.”

 

Poe conceded and moved out of the way, so Rey could step out of the ship and into the daylight. Several ships were landing, and people were milling around everywhere.

 

“Rey!” Rey looked around, as she heard someone call her name, and spotted Rose waving to her from a distance. Rose quickly ran over, and Rey put down the crate, bag, and staff she was carrying so that she could hug her.

 

“Look at you!” Rey said, in reference to how Rose seemed to be completely healed.

 

“I know, right? A little flying did me good. And now we’re here, on such a lovely planet…” Rose trailed off, and her smile disappeared, if only slightly. “I know that the circumstances under which we’re here aren’t great, but I can at least appreciate the weather, right?”

 

Rey nodded in agreement, and collected her belongings. She followed Rose over to the entrance to the base. “So, you travelled with Finn here, right?” Rey asked.

 

“Yeah, why?” Rose asked.

 

“Well, did he…” Rey had completely expected Finn to have confessed his feelings for Rose by now, considering they had been stuck together on a ship for roughly 24 hours.

 

“Did he what?” Rose’s face read pure confusion.

 

“…Oh, nothing. Sorry, I must have been thinking of someone else.”

 

Rose gave her a dubious expression for a moment, but then it disappeared and she was back to her normal self.

 

“Have you seen General Organa recently? Did she arrive safely?” They entered the base, and Rey followed Rose down one of the hallways leading to what Rey assumed were the sleeping quarters.

 

Rose shook her head. “She hasn’t arrived yet, but I hear she’s not far behind. I think she was on one of the last ships to leave Hoth.”

 

Rey could feel her stomach plunge into worry. The sooner she could ask Leia about what had happened to her hands, the better. She knew she would probably have to tell Leia about her connection with Ben as well, but she figured that she would cross that bridge when she got to it.

 

“Well, let me know when she arrives?” Rey asked.

 

Rose smiled. “Will do.” She stopped in front of one of the doors, and pressed the switch beside it to open it. “Here’s where they told me you’ll be staying, at least for tonight. I’m pretty sure they gave you the best sleeping pod, so you should consider yourself pretty lucky.”

 

Rey stepped inside, admiring the clean lines of the room, and the window that let in natural daylight. The bed, like usual, was carved into the wall, and overall the room was much brighter and more open than the other sleeping pods she’d stayed in before. “Wow.”

 

“There’s going to be a strategy meeting as soon as everyone gets here, which should be at around dusk, so come to the main hall just before then.”

 

“Thanks, Rose,” Rey said, flashing her a genuine smile, which Rose returned before leaving the room, the door automatically sliding shut behind her.

 

Rey set down her belongings on the bed, standing her staff up against the wall. She walked over to the window, admiring the beauty that she could see outside. The warm sunlight flooded in, and Rey could see a few mountains in the distance. She would never get tired of seeing new places. She took a deep breath, and for a moment, she felt entirely calm, but then she caught a glimpse of her battered hands, and her anxiety crept back. She realized that there was one person who she could ask about it, someone who she hadn’t even considered before: Ben Solo.

 

Rey had only purposely contacted Ben once before, which was after she investigated the dark pit on Ahch-To, and even then it was mostly motivated by her fear. She wondered if she even had the ability to contact him at will, but the moment she simply considered it, she felt her breathing align with his, and in the blink of an eye he was in front of her.

 

“Ben,” she said, her voice stern.

 

“Barely a word out of your mouth and you’re already angry with me,” he said in an acrid tone, but Rey could have sworn that she saw a smirk tug at the corner of his lips.

 

“I’m not angry with you,” Rey said, but the tone of her voice made it seem as if that was false. “Something happened to me today.” She lifted her hands slightly so that Ben could see them. At first, he looked confused, but there was suddenly a look of grim realization.

 

Silently, he pulled off one of his black gloves to reveal bright red scabs covering his knuckles.

 

Rey was at a loss for words. “Who did that to you?”

 

“I did it to myself. I didn’t know it would affect you, though.” He took a step towards her, and looked at her hands expectantly, before making eye contact. “Can I…”

 

Rey realized what he was asking, and reluctantly offered her hands to him. He held them in his own gingerly, turning them over to inspect the strange blue scars. He was oddly gentle. Rey was overcome with a similar feeling as when they had touched hands on Ahch-To, but she pushed it aside.

 

“Did it hurt?” He asked quietly.

 

Rey suddenly felt the urge to lie, feeling as if admitting that it caused her pain was the same as admitting her weakness, but she realized that was being irrational. “Yes,” she said finally.

 

Ben made eye contact with her for a moment, and he looked as if he was scanning her expression, after which he let go of her hands and started messing with his cowl, untucking his shirt.

 

“What are you…” Rey trailed off as he finished untucking his shirt, and he lifted it up to reveal a trail of blue scars in the same lightning pattern, that collected around his hip. They were slightly more faded than Rey’s, but they were there nonetheless.

 

“I’m sorry,” was all that she could think to say, “I… fell out of bed.” Upon saying it out loud, she realized how embarrassing that was, and she tried to stop the blush that was crawling up her cheeks. “Why is this happening? Why now?” Rey asked, changing the subject.

 

Ben let go of his cowl, letting his hands fall to his sides. “I don’t know.”

 

Suddenly, the door opened to reveal Leia, who, upon seeing Ben, wore a look of shock. Ben must have noticed the bewilderment on Rey’s face, as he whipped around to see his mother standing there.

 

“Wait-” was all Leia could manage to say before Ben severed the connection and disappeared, leaving the General and Rey alone together.

 

“Have you been communicating with my son?” Leia asked.

 

“General Organa, I’m sorry. It was against my will. Snoke, he fueled the connection, and-”

 

Leia interrupted. “How is he?” Her voice was gentle.

 

Rey realized what she was asking, and smiled sadly. “He’s fine, I think.” She wanted to ask Leia about the scars, but the wistful expression on her face stopped Rey.

 

The general smiled as well, and gave the spot where Ben once stood a longing look, before leaving the room.

 

~

 

“Supreme Leader Ren.” Ben was observing the outside of the ship through the window. He turned to see General Hux walking towards him from the elevator. He was grinning proudly.

 

“We have good news. The Rebels have arrived on Dantooine, and we have them surrounded.”

 

“Are they aware that we’re surrounding them?”

 

“Not as far as we know. Our ships are cloaked, and I doubt they have the technology to perform such a high-level scan.”

 

Ben took a deep breath. He couldn’t get the image of his mother’s astonishment out of his mind. He knew he was running out of time. With every moment he felt the divide within him grow; he knew that if he didn’t destroy the Resistance within the next 24 hours, he’d never have the nerve to do it. “We attack at dawn,” he announced.

 

“Supreme Leader, do you truly believe that is wise? We have backup that we can summon. Considering our past battles with the Resistance, I’d recommend gathering all resources possible.”

 

Ben’s hand jerked upwards, Force-choking Hux. “Surely you’re not _doubting_ my _judgement_ ,” he said through gritted teeth.

 

“No sir,” Hux squeaked, and Ben released him, letting him fall to the floor, gasping.

 

“We attack _at dawn_ ,” he repeated. Hux nodded curtly and then hurriedly left, likely fearing the Supreme Leader’s wrath.

 

Ben was alone again. That was when he had the most difficulty, as there was nothing to distract him from his own thoughts. He’d been contemplating Rey, and the obvious increase in their bond’s strength. Why was the Force pulling them together so insistently? And why now? Once again, he regretted the dreamwalking. He made the decision out of desperation and fear, which was selfish. He wished for a moment that he could return to the times when the dark side had comforted him, even through his abandonment and terror. Now he was more terrified than ever. He knew the dark side more than he knew anything; it was tumultuous and violent, like a stormy sea, and he was highly experienced in riding its waves. It was the pull to the light that scared him. The light was silent and logical. Unfeeling. Sure, the dark side could be cruel, but the light side was colder and more heartless than anything.

 

Ben sighed. He was so tired of fighting himself. Most of all, he was tired of being alone. As much as the dreamwalking had ruined his plans, he still deeply looked forward to the night, when he would be able to go to sleep, for at least a moment he could be next to Rey, even though they were technically light years away from each other. With each passing minute, he realized more and more that Rey was the root of all his problems, the source of all his conflict, and yet he yearned to be beside her, if only just to be with someone who knew pain and loneliness like he did.

 

He removed his gloves, letting them fall to floor, and examined his hands. The scabs on his knuckles were bright red, contrasting with his pale skin. He slowly ran his fingers over the wounds, feeling a lump of guilt rise in his throat at the thought of causing Rey pain. That’s all he seemed to know how to do.

 

There was a tiny, nagging thought at the back of his mind, that he tried to push away, but it kept coming back. _How are you supposed to kill this girl if you’re so fond of her?_


	11. Chapter Eleven

The Rebels all sat around the center hologram of the main strategy room on Dantooine, discussing the oncoming battle. Rey was sitting a few seats away from General Organa, and she couldn’t help but feel anxious, as the General now knew that Rey had been in contact with Ben, and for the whole of the meeting so far, she’d been avoiding eye contact. What do you say to a woman after she finds out you’ve been talking to her estranged son behind her back? Leia didn’t seem mad when she discovered the two of them, but Rey was still nervous.

 

“General, the First Order’s ships are much more advanced than our own. Due to their cloaking systems, we have no way of telling where they are,” Poe said. Finn was sitting next to him, listening intently.

 

“That’s the whole reason we came here,” Captain Phlox spoke up, “so now we have the resources to fight them off. The only thing we must be sure of is that we’re constantly prepared. We should have pilots and fleets standing by at all times. In the meantime, we’ll run de-cloaking scans regularly. The technology we have here doesn’t have a large range, but at least we’ll know if the First Order is sitting on our doorstep.”

 

Everyone at the table seemed to nod in agreement.

 

“I suppose the time has come to appoint positions,” continued Leia, “Poe, you and your squadrons will pilot as usual, along with Finn and Rose. Unfortunately, we don’t have any bombing squads left, so the cannons on our smaller fighters will have to be sufficient. We can bring out some of the freighters if necessary, considering they also have cannons. Everyone else, you’ll stay here to work on communications, sonar, and medical attention.”

 

Rey had been avoiding talking to the General, but she couldn’t help but be confused by her announcement; she hadn’t mentioned a position for Rey, even though she had mentioned Finn and Rose. “Excuse me, General?”

 

Leia looked up.

 

“What ship will I be piloting?” Rey asked, her eyes hopeful.

 

“Rey, it’s far too dangerous. As the strongest Force-wielder in the Resistance, we can’t risk you being shot down by a TIE fighter, of all things,” Leia explained.

 

The group gathered on the strategy table seemed to murmur in agreement.

 

“But… that’s not fair!” Rey said, suddenly feeling like a child, but only because she suspected Leia was holding her back for all the wrong reasons. Now that the General knew that Rey was a direct lifeline to her son, there was no way that she would risk giving her up.

 

“Rey, the General’s right. You trained with Luke Skywalker, for Edge’s sake! There’s no way you can just blast yourself out into space,” said Poe.

 

Again, the group seemed to agree.

 

Rey sighed exasperatedly, walking away from the table in defeat. This was the only cause that mattered to her. Why couldn’t anyone understand that? She couldn’t just sit by while her friends fought for the only thing she’d ever really believed in. She walked in the direction of her sleeping quarters, not wanting to hear the rest of the plans if she knew that she’d have absolutely no part in them. She entered the room and sat down on the floor next to her sleeping pod, not bothering to close the door behind her.

 

“Are you all right?”

 

Rey looked up to see Commander Reo standing in the doorway. “I’m fine,” she said quietly, “in fact, I’m acting a bit irrational. The General has every right to keep me back. I’m just a bit disappointed, I suppose.”

 

Commander Reo walked over to her and sat down beside her. “I don’t think she does have the right to keep you from fighting. This is your battle, after all; more than anyone else’s. You’re not a weapon, or an object, you’re a fighter.”

 

“You’re saying you disagree with Leia’s command?” Rey couldn’t believe it.

 

The Commander shrugged. “I respect Leia a lot. Of course I do. But that doesn’t mean I have to go along with everything she says, especially if I think she’s acting on her own emotions instead of for the good of the many. And right now, I believe she’s grown particularly attached to you. I think she’s holding you back, not because she believes you won’t be successful, but because she can’t risk losing you emotionally.”

 

“Perhaps. There’s no real point sitting here and talking about it, though. The fact of the matter is that she’s not going to let me go.”

 

A mischievous smile worked its way onto Commander Reo’s face. “Well, she doesn’t have to know, does she?”

 

Rey laughed in disbelief. “I understand where you’re going with this, but… where would I even get a ship from?”

 

“Don’t worry. I have something in mind,” the Commander assured Rey, and stood up, offering a hand to help her up. Rey accepted it and followed the woman past the strategy room and into the main hangar, where Commander Reo led her to a very familiar Corellian light freighter.

 

“What? No, I can’t take the Falcon,” Rey said with a laugh.

 

“Sure you can. I mean, you’re pretty familiar with it, aren’t you? And I know for a fact that no one else is planning to take it into battle.”

 

Rey thought of all the amazing things that had been accomplished in that ship. The idea of using it to fight for what she believed was right was just too tempting, and she couldn’t resist. She took a deep breath. “Okay.”

 

Commander Reo smiled. “Be careful out there, okay? I’m encouraging you to fight the good fight, not go on a suicide mission.”

 

“I’ll be careful, I promise,” Rey assured her. The Commander gave her an affectionate pat on the back before jogging back towards the strategy room, leaving Rey alone with the infamous ship that had once belonged to Han Solo.

 

~

 

As Ben Solo prepared to sleep, he went back and forth internally over whether or not he should dreamwalk through Rey’s mind that night. So far, the dreamwalking had only brought him poor consequences, and torn apart his resolve, but he couldn’t help it; he was much too afraid to venture into his own mind. Those past few nights when he had visited Rey’s mind were the only time he had been free from his own internal conflict for years. He couldn’t give that up now. And besides, he knew that it was likely that either he or Rey would be destroyed in the oncoming battle. This could be the last opportunity he would ever have to see her.

 

With that, his mind was made up. He would reach out to her one final time.

 

~

As Rey drifted off to sleep that night, anxiety stirred in the pit of her stomach. The fact that they had no idea when the First Order would arrive was getting to her. She didn't know what to expect, and if she wasn't so tired from the journey, she probably would have had more trouble falling asleep, but luckily she was exhausted.

 

_She found herself sitting on the very top of the old Empire ship that had been abandoned on Jakku, half-buried in the sand. She had explored it many times before, but she had never sat on the tallest part of the highest platform, and certainly not at night, but now here she was, her legs dangling off of the side. She felt so close to the sky, as if she could reach out and touch the stars._

_Suddenly there was a sound, like someone taking a breath. She looked to her right and nearly fell off the platform in shock. “Ben!” She heaved a sigh of relief, pressing her hand to her heart. “You scared me.”_

_Ben Solo was sitting next to her. The light of the two moons made his skin look like ivory. He gave her a passing glance, and then turned back to stare out into the stars._

_“Why are you here?” Rey asked, trying to process the situation. Why was she sitting on an abandoned ship, at night, in the middle of the desert, with the Supreme Leader of the First Order? It made no sense. Gradually, everything came into focus, and she realized where she was._

_“I’m dreaming,” she said to herself, giggling slightly, but then her smile fell away. “But why am I dreaming of you?” The question Ben had asked her before echoed in her mind again: ‘If you keep having dreams about monsters, what kind of person does that make you?’_

_Ben turned to look at her, and for a moment he looked taken aback, but his face quickly returned to his usual serious expression. “Don’t ask me, I’m just a product of your imagination.”_

_“That’s awfully self-aware,” she said, and for a moment she absolutely couldn’t believe that it wasn’t really him, sitting in front of her, but then his face broke out into an honest, lopsided grin, and Rey knew that it couldn’t possibly be the real Ben._

_Rey wondered what she was going to do now. She’d never realized she was dreaming before. She understood that she could technically do whatever she wanted, as long as she figured out how to control her dreams, but she was worried that if she tried anything too ambitious she would wake herself up by accident._

_She assessed her situation. There was something that she had wanted to try, ever since she and Ben had touched hands on Ahch-To. She had felt this magnetic pull, this gravity towards him that she had never felt before in her life. Then again, she was sitting right next to him, and she didn’t feel quite the same as she did when he was really in front of her. She figured that the fact it was just a dream would affect how she felt inside, so she doubted that it would be the same as it would be in reality. ‘Still,’ she thought, ‘only one way to find out.’_

_Rey cautiously placed her hand on his shoulder, and even through the black fabric that cloaked him, she was amazed to find the pull was still there, the Force drawing them together from within._

_Ben looked up in surprise, all traces of the smile falling away. Rey watched his gaze flicker from her eyes, then to her lips, and then back up. Rey had thought she had made the move out of pure curiosity, but now her true intention seemed to reveal itself. Her realization drifted through the fog in her mind, and suddenly, her caution and curiosity were almost completely replaced with desire. As if in a trance, she lifted her hand from his shoulder and carefully reached up to brush her fingers along the side of his face. It was as if she could feel sparks beneath her fingertips._

_Ben searched her face, looking for some sort of clue as to her intentions. As her fingers neared his lips, he closed his eyes, seemingly in wanting. The reaction surprised Rey slightly, bringing her back to reality and causing her to pull away out of instinct. Ben’s eyes opened again, searching hers, questioning._

_Did he really want this as much as she did? Of course, he wasn’t real, but she still couldn’t believe it. Hell, she still couldn’t believe what she was even doing, but there she was, reaching for his face again, letting her fingers drift down and tug at the black fabric of his clothes, pulling at it and revealing the pale skin of his neck. She watched the confusion in his face be replaced by desire, and she glanced down at his ungloved hands. One of his hands twitched as it lay in his lap, as if he was holding himself back. He seemed to notice the involuntary movement too, and curled his hand into a fist to prevent it from happening again, all the while studying Rey’s face, looking for answers. Rey couldn’t get enough of the control she had gained over him. She leaned in, her face getting closer and closer to his._

_“Why?” Ben managed to ask, halting Rey’s movement. “I don’t deserve this.”_

_“Don’t you feel it too?” she asked quietly. He seemed to relax slightly._

_He chuckled softly, his voice low and breathless. “Of course I do.” He paused for a minute, likely weighing his words carefully. “I just didn’t know if you felt it, I suppose.” He reached up, carefully taking her chin into his hand. Rey’s pulse quickened. Ben’s free hand tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. He was much more gentle than she ever would have expected. He used the hand that was on her chin to turn her head away from him slightly, exposing her neck. His thumb ran over a small section of her neck, making her skin tingle. He leaned closer, and she could feel his warm breath close to her ear, but he hesitated, lingering where he was. Rey realized she was gripping the heavy material of his cowl in anticipation._

_She couldn’t take it any longer. “Please,” she implored, her voice nothing more than a whisper._

_All it took was her voice to resolve his internal conflict. He pressed his lips to her neck, hungrily kissing her delicate skin. A rush of satisfaction flowed through Rey the likes of which she had never felt before. Ben slowly moved up so that he was just below her ear. He grazed her earlobe lightly with his teeth, and a soft moan escaped her, which only served to encourage him. Rey couldn’t help but bury her hands in his long dark hair, pulling him towards her. Eventually Ben pulled away, taking a moment to meet Rey’s eyes. She couldn’t help but feel slightly disappointed that he had stopped, but she forgot all about it once she realized he was leaning in and tilting his head. He moved in slowly, his gentleness returning, and his lips were about to meet hers._


	12. Chapter Twelve

Ben awoke with a start, nearly falling out of bed. He managed to sit up, and stared blankly at the wall for a moment, before uttering, “Damn it.” Warm desire still burned in the pit of his stomach, but frustration started to rise as well. A million questions raced through his mind. _Did she really feel that way about him? Was she just toying with him? Did she know that it was really him in the dream? Had she known all along? Was it even her, or was it just his own fantasy?_

 

Eventually his mind fell silent, leaving only the memory of how it had felt to kiss her neck. He had tried to hold himself back, so as not to make her suspicious, but he’d barely possessed the power. He hadn’t known how much he needed her touch until she’d ran her hands through his hair and brushed her fingers across his face.

 

There was knock at the door, pulling him out of his dazed state. “Supreme Leader, it’s approximately fifteen minutes until the sun rises over Dantooine.”

 

“All right, all right, I’m coming,” he said, barely attempting to hide the annoyance in his voice. He quickly dressed himself and stormed out of the room, into the main command center. He briefly observed the situation through the window. The First Order’s ships drifted just outside of Dantooine’s atmosphere. The side of the planet that they were on was still cloaked in darkness.

 

“They’re not aware of our presence yet, sir. Once the sun rises, though, we will be exposed,” Officer Apolla informed the Supreme Leader.

 

“Ready the fleets. And prepare my ship,” Ben ordered, before beginning to walk in the direction of the launch bay.

Officer Apolla followed him. “Supreme Leader, will you be participating in the battle? That would be quite… unconventional,” she said hurriedly.

 

“Is that an issue?” Ben asked, his tone harsh. He had already made up his mind. He knew there was no way he could stand in the Star Destroyer and give the order to kill Rey. If he was in the Silencer, she might have the chance to escape, or even if she didn’t, at least he wouldn’t have to watch.

“No, no!” Apolla defended anxiously. “Of course not. Right away, sir.” She ran over to some of the other officials to inform them of the Leader’s plans.

 

Just as Ben was about to walk through the doors into the launch bay, Hux stepped in front of him, stopping him. “Supreme Leader,” he said, “surely you’re not considering acting as a pilot in the battle. This is the day that we destroy the Resistance. We require your guidance.”

 

“Hux, I appreciate your concern,” Ben replied, his voice dripping in sarcasm, “but I believe that fighting in the battle myself is the most powerful strategy, rather than remaining here, like a coward.” His words were especially damaging, as Ben knew that Hux had never flown a ship in his life, and had only gained his position through Snoke’s help, not due to hard work.

 

Hux’s lip twitched, in what must have been frustration, but he stepped out of the way and let Ben proceed towards the hangar.

 

As he walked through the launch bay, there were pilots and Stormtroopers marching about everywhere, though they cleared the way for him as they watched him approach. A few mechanics were polishing up and messing with the controls on Ben’s Silencer, but when they saw him coming, they hurried off of the ship and stood at attention in front of it, to which Ben waved his hand to dismiss them, and they scurried away.

 

Ben climbed into the ship, sitting back in the seat and taking a deep breath. The sun was going to rise in roughly five minutes, meaning he still had a few moments to attempt to summon the courage to go through with this. He tried thinking of his abandonment, loneliness, and betrayal, as he usually did when attempting to provoke the dark side, but it wasn’t working like it normally did. Every time he tried to bring a painful memory forward, he instead brought up the memory of Rey’s soft touch against his face. He attempted to push it out, to fall into the dark sea of his emotions, but now there was something holding him up, keeping him at the surface.

 

He loved her.

 

With this realization, all of a sudden, it was like the floodgates had opened. Every moment he’d ever shared with Rey, real or otherwise, rushed past him all at once. Every time he’d ever heard her say his name suddenly played in his mind. He had to hold back tears.

 

“T-minus 2 minutes until attack,” the announcer’s voice boomed over the loudspeaker.

 

Ben realized that he had two minutes to figure out how he was going to save Rey’s life.

 

~

 

“Rey, wake up!”

 

Rey opened her eyes to find Finn vigorously shaking her shoulders. For a moment, she didn’t know where she was, but she looked around the sleeping quarters and even in her dazed state she knew what was going on.

 

“The First Order is here. We’ve scanned them just outside our atmosphere. They haven’t made a move yet but they could attack at any minute. We’ve got to attack before they do.”

 

Rey quickly stood up. Her heartbeat was quick, not only because of the manner in which Finn woke her up, but also due to the dream she had just come out of. Why would she imagine that? It made no sense to her. What was going on in her mind?

 

She had so many questions, but she had to push them aside as Finn pulled her out of the room by her hand, and they ran towards the command center. As they approached, they had to be careful not to bump into anyone, as everyone was running to their stations. They reached the point where they had to part ways, and they made eye contact.

 

“Good luck, Finn. Please be careful, please,” Rey said, putting a hand on his shoulder.

 

“Good luck to you too. I know you’re not gonna stay here, and you’re probably gonna hijack some ship or something, so… don’t do anything too dangerous, okay?”

 

Rey smiled. He knew her so well. “Okay.”

 

They gave each other one last look before parting ways.

 

Rey ran in the direction of the Falcon, hoping that General Organa wouldn’t see her and ask what she was doing. She quickly boarded the ship and made her way to the cockpit, prepping the controls for flight. As she efficiently flicked switches and pressed buttons, leaning across the control panel to press the ones that were just out of reach, she thought for a moment about her strange lucid dream. She’d never even truly thought about Ben _that way_ until then. She dismissed it as just fulfillment of a dumb fantasy. Now that she’d experienced what she wanted to, she hoped that she could just move on.

 

As she ignited the engines, the Falcon roared to life. She exited the launch bay as quickly as she could in order to avoid being caught. The lands were still cloaked in darkness, as it was just before dawn. Once she was clear of the base and was flying over the trees, she switched on the old radio that was attached to the control panel and tuned it in to the frequency that she knew the Resistance pilots operated on. Immediately, she heard Poe’s voice coming through the channel.

 

“All right, Red and Blue, we’re going straight for the Star Destroyer’s cannons. Follow my lead. Everyone else, cover us. We’re probably gonna have company.”

 

The problem with this ship, Rey realized, was the fact that she couldn’t shoot anything unless she had another crew member, which was something she hadn’t considered when commandeering it. She decided she would follow the Red and Blue squadrons, and try to direct some of their opponents away as she soared up into the atmosphere, following the small group of X-wings. She supposed that she would just have to try her best to avoid getting blasted out of the sky. The moment the Falcon entered outer space, the sun rose over the planet, and sunlight broke into the cockpit of the Falcon, temporarily blinding Rey, but her eyes quickly adjusted.

 

Rey assessed the situation, and watched as the TIE fighters flooded out of the Star Destroyer that loomed over Dantooine. The small fighters were following a sleeker, larger model, a TIE Silencer, that careened towards the Resistance fighters. Rey launched into action, flying directly in front of the Silencer, forcing it to make a hairpin turn so as not to crash into the Falcon. The cockpits of the Falcon and Silencer aligned for one tiny moment, and it was as if time slowed down. Rey saw who her adversary was: Ben Solo. She could feel him just faintly on the other side of the Force connection.

 

Then that moment ended, and the Silencer was speeding away, the TIE fighters in pursuit. Ben made a large circle and came back towards the Resistance pilots. The fighters following Ben began to take down the Resistance pilots, but Rey noticed as she whizzed by that Ben wasn’t shooting at all, which seemed strange. Rey intercepted the TIE fighters once again, skillfully dodging their fire.

 

“Is that the Millennium Falcon?” One of the pilots exclaimed over the radio.

 

The distraction was enough to make the TIE fighters follow her, and suddenly she was wrapped up in a high-speed chase. She was mindlessly dodging their shots, without the power to fight back. She managed to turn herself around so that she could see what was going on with the Resistance’s efforts. The Rebel pilots had managed to take down a few of the Star Destroyer’s cannons, but the surviving guns were beginning to shoot at the Resistance, making it even more difficult.

 

“Commander, the other squadrons need a little help,” one of the pilots said over the radio, “we need Red and Blue to back us up.”

 

“Captain, we can’t do that. These cannons are going to wipe us out. Falcon, if you can hear us, keep distracting the TIE fighters!”

 

With their very limited resources, and with the fighters still on her tail, Rey knew that it was unlikely the Resistance would win this battle, and if they didn’t win this battle, they might lose the entire war. The pilots were counting on her, but Rey knew she could only do so much.

 

Rey had almost lost hope, when suddenly the Silencer turned around and began shooting down the other TIE fighters.

“What the hell?!” Poe’s voice rang out over the radio. “Is that Silencer fighting on our side?”

 

“Mother of Moons, that’s Kylo Ren!” One of the other pilots exclaimed.

 

Rey was absolutely bewildered. Ben Solo was taking out his own ships, and he was doing a pretty damn good job of it too. She circled around the battle so that she wouldn’t get between him and the TIE fighters. The Resistance pilots all seemed confused for a moment, but they quickly caught on and worked with the Silencer to take out the rest of the First Order’s fighters. Rey felt an intense rush of hope: this is exactly what she knew would happen. This is what she wanted to happen from the beginning. Ben Solo had finally turned.

 

The Star Destroyer quickly caught on to the mutiny that was occurring, and began to shoot at Ben. Rey found herself rushing in to defend him, even though she had no guns of her own, and the Silencer was in fact much faster and more agile than the Falcon.

 

“Rey, I know that’s you in the Falcon. Why are you defending Kylo Ren? You’re going to get yourself killed!” Finn’s voice came through the radio.

 

“God, Rey, you’re the one in the Falcon?” Poe asked. “You were supposed to stay on Dantooine. Now you’re protecting the leader of the First Order?”

 

Rey pressed the microphone button to speak. “He’s clearly on our side. We need to help him,” she insisted.

 

“Are you out of your mind? He’s the _enemy_!” Finn argued.

 

“You were once the enemy too,” Rey shot back, “but you betrayed the First Order, and now so has he. But he can’t do it alone.”

 

“Rey, I appreciate your sentiment, but Kylo Ren is going to have to fend for himself. There’s no way I’m wasting my fleet defending him. We need to focus all of our energy on taking out those giant cannons.”

 

At that moment, Rey watched in horror as the wing of Ben’s ship was taken out by a shot from the Star Destroyer. The damaged ship plummeted into Dantooine’s atmosphere. She raced after the falling ship, at the protests of the pilots over the radio, but she flicked the switch to turn off the radio, not wanting to listen to them anymore.

 

The Silencer fell too quickly, out of her sight, and she hurried to catch up, but it disappeared, crashing somewhere between the trees. Rey could feel a sharp pain in her stomach and in her left arm, and she knew that if she inspected her body she would find those familiar blue scars; She knew Ben was badly hurt. Rey swooped down towards where she saw the Silencer touch down, demolishing several trees in the process. There was smoke rising from the destroyed branches. She attempted to land the Falcon as quickly as possible in one of the forest’s many clearings. As soon as the ship touched the ground, she pulled the lever to turn off the engines and raced out of the door, into the humid climate of Dantooine.

 

Rey could smell smoke and charred metal. She ran over to the wreckage of the Silencer, which was now clearly in sight. “Ben!” she called. She got closer to the destroyed ship, and saw a figure move within the rubble. Rey felt a rush of relief at seeing a sign he was alive.

 

Ben climbed out of the destroyed Silencer, his gait wobbly as he lumbered out of the wreckage. Rey could see ash on his face, and just as she expected, it seemed as if his abdomen had been injured, as he was gripping his stomach tightly with his left hand.

 

“Ben, you’re hurt. I can feel it. We need to get you back to the Resistance as quickly as possible,” she explained as she walked towards him.

 

He shook his head. “No, you know that I can’t do that.”

 

“What?” Rey stopped about two feet away from him. “Of course you can. You fought on our side.”

 

Ben wore a pained and bitter smile. “That’s not how it works.” He took another few limping steps towards her, closing the distance between them.

 

Rey blinked in confusion. “Why not?”

 

Ben pressed a cold object against her stomach, and Rey looked down to see that it was his lightsaber, thankfully not activated. “Take it,” he insisted. His action made Rey picture the image of Ben and his father, standing on the bridge on Starkiller Base, and for a moment she felt very afraid.

 

Rey pushed the saber away. “No, why would I?” She looked up to meet his gaze.

 

His eyes were icy and dark. “So you can kill me. Once and for all.”

 


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Ben fell to one knee in front of Rey, bowing his head and still offering the lightsaber. The once-excruciating pain in his stomach now became a dull throbbing as he realized these were his last few moments alive. He never expected to die on Dantooine, of all places, but then again, he also never expected to surrender to Rey.

 

Rey reluctantly accepted the lightsaber. Ben looked up to see her face, but her expression was indecipherable. He accepted this image with open arms as the last thing he would ever see: Rey’s face looking down at him.

 

“I’m sorry that I have to do this,” she said quietly, “but you leave me no choice.” Without another word she pulled her arm back in preparation to strike him. Ben expected her to activate the saber, but instead she swung the metal object towards him, striking him in the head and knocking him out cold.

 

~

 

“Oh god, oh god, oh my god,” Rey mumbled to herself, realizing the gravity of what she just did. She could feel a sharp pain in her head, as she could feel everything he did, and she hoped that she hadn’t hurt him too badly. She took a deep breath to calm herself down.

 

Ben’s unconscious body was slumped strangely in the dirt. She bent down and grabbed him from under his arms, attempting to pick him up; however, he was taller and heavier than she was, so she gave up on that idea and instead let him fall to the ground again, after which she grabbed him by the foot and began dragging him towards the Falcon.

 

It didn’t seem like a very dignified way of getting him on board, but she really had no other choice. She hoped that Ben wouldn’t ever find out that she did this.

 

After so long struggling with his deadweight, she eventually arrived at the ramp of the Falcon and pulled him aboard, closing the door behind her and setting him down in the co-pilot’s seat. She was just about to ignite the engines when she realized that just letting him sit there might not be a good idea, as he could just wake up at any time. She got out of the pilot’s seat and searched in the back for some sort of rope. Eventually she found a cable that she used to tie his wrists together behind his back. It felt a bit cruel, but then again, Rey justified it to herself with the memory of Ben trapping her in an interrogation chair.

 

She finally sat down in the pilot’s chair and started up the engines, taking off. She used the ship’s navigational tools to point her in the direction of the Rebel base.

 

It was only a few minutes before Ben woke up, still quite dazed. He looked around, hazy for a moment before sobering up and struggling against his restraints. “Where are you taking me?” he demanded.

 

“To the Resistance. You need medical attention.”

 

“No, this… this isn’t the plan! You’re supposed to kill me and become a hero, not try to save my life,” he protested.

 

“What kind of hero would I be if I killed you?”

 

Ben didn’t answer. Instead he winced. Rey could feel the throbbing that he was feeling in his head, and immediately felt guilty.

 

“Why did you have to hit me to knock me out?” he asked. “You can do that with the Force, you know.”

 

“I know,” Rey said. That was a lie.

 

“I see. It was just for the satisfaction,” Ben said, his tone taunting. “And now, of course, you’re going to deprive me of an honorable surrender and instead bring me back to the group of people who will likely torture me for as long as possible. I understand.”

 

Rey scowled. “Quit over-exerting yourself, you’re going to bleed out.”

 

“Maybe I want to bleed out.” He sounded like a spoiled kid arguing with his parents.

 

Rey turned her head to glare at Ben. “I’m trying to help you. Don’t you understand that? I’m trying to help you because I believe it’s the right thing to do. I’m helping you because I care, because I believe you’re not a monster.”

 

“Then you’re much more naïve than I thought. Have you even thought this through?”

 

Rey didn’t bother replying.

 

“What do you think is going to happen when you drag me into the Resistance base? Do you think they’re just going to welcome me with open arms? I’m a war criminal,” he said, his tone spiteful.

 

“I don’t understand why you’re so angry with me. I saved your life and all you’ve managed to do is insult me!” Rey snapped.

 

“If I’m supposed to be grateful then why did you tie me up? Why are you taking me to people who will inevitably kill me?” His voice became less confrontational and more pleading.

 

Rey tried to address the situation calmly. She realized that his reaction to being essentially kidnapped was perfectly reasonable, especially considering he was so emotionally unstable. She understood that arguing with him wasn’t going to win his trust. “They’re not going to kill you,” she said quietly, “I promise.” She sighed. “I’ll untie you, if you like. I was just worried when you woke up you’d do something irrational.”

 

Ben sighed as well. “It’s all right, I’m fine how I am.” He thought for a moment, and then suddenly looked around quickly. “Wait, what did you do with my lightsaber?!” he asked, panicked.

 

“Relax, I didn’t just leave it in the dirt,” Rey assured him, “it’s on the ship.”

 

He breathed a sigh of relief, and for the first time, Rey noticed him looking around the cockpit, as if finally realizing where he was. “Who mangled the hyperdrive?” he asked quietly, referring to the mess of wires that stuck out of the wall to his right.

 

Rey couldn’t help wear a small smile. She had no idea that Ben knew anything about ships. Then again, his father _was_ Han Solo. “Some junk trader put a compressor on it. I had to bypass it. Unfortunately, that involved ripping it out of the wall.”

 

“What, you couldn’t manage to use a screwdriver?” He asked, still looking at the hole in the wall.

 

“It was a bit of a dire situation,” she defended. She realized that Ben and his father had both had a similar reaction to her feat: neither of them were very outwardly impressed.

 

Rey could see the Rebel base in the distance. She flicked on the radio so she could hear what the situation was in the sky, hoping that the Resistance pilots had managed to defend themselves.

 

“Commander, we’ve taken out all of the cannons and one of the main engines, but everyone on the ship is retreating in smaller vessels. They’re jumping to hyperspeed. Should we take them down?” One of the pilots asked.

 

Poe’s voice came on over the radio, and Rey felt a rush of relief. “No, we don’t have enough resources for that. Let ‘em retreat.”

 

“Roger that,” the pilot said in reply. “Red and Blue squads, bring us home.”

 

Rey landed the Falcon outside of the Resistance Base, close to the opening of the launch bay. She switched off the engines and the radio, and stood up, and the hum of the ship faded to an eerie silence. “I’m going to untie you,” she told Ben, trying to sound sure of herself, “but you can’t do anything ridiculous. In fact, just don’t do anything at all. Don’t say anything, or make any sudden moves…” Rey could see that the light in Ben’s eyes had started to fade, as he was losing blood.

 

“Whatever you say, princess,” he said, obviously delirious.

 

Rey flushed bright red at the nickname. “Don’t call me that.” She quickly leaned over and untied Ben’s wrists from behind his back, throwing the cable aside. “You can’t walk on your own, can you?”

 

Ben only shrugged in reply, and allowed Rey to loop her arm under one of his and help him stand. With his arm over her shoulder, she helped him limp over to the door of the Falcon, and pressed the button to open it. The pilots had all just landed, and were making their way out of their ships, but when they spotted Rey standing on the Falcon’s ramp, holding Ben Solo, they all immediately dropped what they were doing and stared. No one said a word. The seconds seemed to pass like years.

 

Rey felt the warm blood of Ben’s chest wound start to leak onto her, which immediately brought her back to reality. “Someone, please. He needs a medic. He’s badly hurt,” she pleaded, as loud as her anxious voice could manage.

 

Poe stepped forward out of the crowd of pilots. “Rey, this is insane. What would motivate you to bring him here?”

 

“Poe, he saved the fleets. In fact, he saved all of us. He’s the only reason you managed to take out that Star Destroyer.”

 

Poe was silent for a moment. “It doesn’t matter what he did _just now_. Being a hero for five minutes doesn’t outweigh years of atrocity.”

 

“Since when does being a hero not matter to you?” Rey spat, feeling a deep frustration build within her.

 

Suddenly, the crowd parted to reveal Leia Organa. “What is going on here?” she demanded, causing everyone to fall silent. She looked around, until she spotted her son standing on the ramp of the Millennium Falcon. “Ben,” she said quietly.

Rey realized that it was a touching moment, but she could practically feel Ben dying at her side. “General, he turned against the First Order. He saved our pilots. But he’s bleeding out. He needs help,” she pleaded once again.

 

Leia stepped forward hesitantly, attempting to make eye contact with her son, but his expression was listless, likely due to blood loss. She gave Rey a hurried nod, before looking back into the crowd. “Medics, please,” she called.

 

The medics looked hesitant, but they wouldn’t dare betray the General’s orders. They ran from their varied places in the crowd over to Ben, escorting Ben and Rey to the entrance to the base. “We shouldn’t even try to put him in a stretcher or anything,” one of the medics said to Rey, as he slid his arm around Ben’s waist and supported his other shoulder. “Just walk as fast as you can manage.”

 

It seemed to take years for them to reach the medical bay, but eventually they did, and the medics helped Rey set Ben down on the surgery table, after which the medics escorted Rey away, leading her outside, but she couldn’t tear her eyes away from Ben’s near-unconscious body lying on the table. Her stomach churned in worry. With every moment she felt him less and less on the other side of the Force bond.

 

The door to the medical bay closed in front of her, and she was left staring blankly at the metal. She blinked a few times, before backing away, sitting down on the floor and taking a breath. She glanced down at her clothes, realizing that her mid-section was practically covered with blood, but she couldn’t find it within herself to care.

 

“Rey.”

 

Rey looked up to see Leia standing in front of her, causing Rey to stand up quickly. For a moment, all Leia did was hold eye contact, communicating a sort of appreciation that Rey had never felt from anyone before. Rey could see tears in her eyes. Eventually the General reached out and pulled Rey into a tight hug.

 

“Thank you,” Leia whispered into Rey’s shoulder. They broke apart and Leia held Rey at arm’s length.

 

“General, I’m worried. There are a lot of people here who want him dead, and with good reason. They’re going to try and kill him,” Rey said.

 

Leia sighed. “Not on my watch. Don’t worry about them, all right? Don’t let them discourage you. What you did was amazing. You saw the light in him when no one else would. You _saved my son_.” She looked Rey up and down, realizing how much blood she had on her. “Go clean up. Rest, for at least a while.”

 

“But--” Rey looked back at the door to the medical bay.

 

“Don’t worry.” Leia smiled sadly. “I’ll protect him.”


	14. Chapter Fourteen

For twenty-four hours, the medical bay didn’t allow Rey to see Ben, which gave her exactly twenty-four hours to decide how she felt about him.

 

The intelligent, logical part of her mind told her that he was a cruel, merciless tyrant; a man who’d killed so many, including his father. He was a monster. He’d said it himself.

 

But the part of her that wasn’t so judicious, the part that had made her dream of him, of his lips at her neck… that part refused to let her completely believe he was irredeemable.

 

With every moment that passed, the divide in her heart grew, and she felt more and more conflicted. The more she thought about it, the less she understood, but there was one thing she was sure of: she needed to see Ben. To talk to him. To understand him. How could she decide how morally justified he was if she barely knew him?

 

Besides that, there was a feeling in her heart that she couldn’t bring herself to admit was even there: she cared for him. She didn’t know why, but she couldn’t bear the thought of never seeing him alive again.

 

It was her inexplicable compassion for him that motivated Rey to spend the day after the battle sitting strategically so the medical bay was always in sight. That way, when the medics had news on Ben’s condition, she’d be the first to hear it. She was working on a map of Dantooine using the maps that were stored in the base, and so far that had kept her occupied while she waited. She loved making her own maps. It felt like such a useful task, and for the most part, it distracted her from her worries about Ben, but there were still moments when Rey found herself lost in thought, staring hopelessly at the door to the medical bay.

 

Rey was just finishing outlining the bodies of water, and was using delicate blue ink to add colour, when Finn approached, and wordlessly sat on the floor next to her. She hadn’t seen Finn since before the battle. She was mostly surprised that he had even approached her, considering she had assumed he was angry with her for bringing his worst enemy into Rebel territory.

 

“How are you?” Finn asked finally, after sitting in silence for what was probably a few minutes but seemed like years.

 

“Fine, I suppose,” she said, although that was a lie. She couldn’t stand the conflict between them for much longer. “Listen, Finn, I’m sorry. I know you likely don’t agree with… what I’ve decided to do, but… you have to know that I’m not trying to betray you. I know that he’s caused you so much pain over your lifetime, but there’s something still living within him that can’t be overlooked. Something good.”

 

Finn stared at the floor for a moment, and then turned his head, finally making eye contact with Rey. “I know you’re not betraying me. You wouldn’t do that.” He seemed to be weighing his words carefully. “I’d never be able to do what you did. I don’t have that kind of forgiveness in me. But… I understand it. I’m not upset.”

 

At Finn’s words, for some reason Rey felt a wave of emotion crash over her for the first time in a while. She suddenly felt the urge to cry. To think, she had almost lost her first friend over something so strange and trivial as saving Ben. She leaned so that she could rest her head on Finn’s shoulder. “I’m so scared,” she said quietly. “I don’t understand anything. I’m just so afraid.” She did her best to hold back the tears, but a few slipped out, rolling down her cheeks and slipping into her lap.

 

“Why are you afraid?” Finn asked softly, concern in his voice.

 

“I feel so… strange. Powerless. I can’t understand any aspect of myself.” Rey was referring almost entirely to the mental struggle she was having with her opinion of Ben, but Finn didn’t need to know that.

 

“You’ll be okay. I promise.”

 

It was silent for a moment, after which Rey decided to change the subject. “Did you talk to Rose?” She removed her head from his shoulder, wiping the tears from her cheeks and sobering up slightly.

 

“Talk to Rose about what?” Finn looked genuinely oblivious, which made Rey confused. Didn’t he just ask for advice about Rose a few short days ago?  


“I thought… when we were on Hoth, you asked me about your ‘hypothetical situation’?”

 

It took Finn a moment to process what Rey was implying, but once he understood he chuckled. “Rey, I wasn’t talking about Rose.” He looked around, as if to make sure no one was eavesdropping, and then leaned in close. “I was talking about Poe,” he said quietly.

 

“Poe?!” Rey said in surprise, trying to keep her voice down, but barely succeeding due to her level of shock. “Well, have you talked to _Poe_?”

 

Finn’s face fell. “No. Of course not. You made it sound so easy when you told me to just ‘let my feelings out’, but it’s really not that simple.”

 

Rey knew a lot that Finn didn’t. “Finn, trust me. Usually it’s not that simple, but in this situation, it’s really quite simple. Very simple. Extremely simple.”

 

Finn furrowed his eyebrows. “And you know this because…?”

 

“I don’t. I just… I have this funny feeling that it will work out well.”

 

The pair’s attention was drawn away from the conversation as the door to the medical bay opened. There was a medic inside who spotted Rey and gestured to her to enter. Rey quickly stood up.  At first, she looked expectantly at Finn, but he communicated solely with his expression that he simply couldn’t go in there with her, and without a single word, she understood. She gave him a small smile before walking in the direction of the medical bay door.

 

The medic waiting for her offered a sad smile as she approached. “He’s still _very_ unconscious. But he’s recovering. You can… see him, if you’d like.”

 

Rey knew there was no logical sense in looking at someone who was entirely unconscious, but she couldn’t stop herself from nodding and entering the room. The medic left, and closed the door behind her, leaving Rey alone with Ben.

 

She’d never seen him so vulnerable before, not even in his own mind. The torn black cowl and minimal armor he had been wearing had been removed, leaving his chest bare, and Rey had to actively stop herself from blushing. Luckily, from his mid-section down, he was covered with a medical blanket. He was laying on a white infirmary bed, which was completely clean besides a few drops of what must have been his blood. There were several tubes that were attached to his arm and his chest, and the monitors behind him beeped gently. His face was entirely peaceful and calm, which was an expression she’d never seen him wear before. Just as she did in her dream, Rey felt the urge to reach out and brush her fingers against the smooth skin of his face, but she knew that was crossing a line. She had to remind herself constantly that what happened in the dream was mindless fantasy, while this was real life, and in real life, Ben Solo hated her guts, and likely wouldn’t approve of her even being in the same room as him if he was awake to witness it.

 

Rey let her eyes travel down to his exposed chest, observing the faint scars that littered his pale skin. Some were newer than others, but seeing any of them caused Rey a certain type of pain that she couldn’t describe. Finally, she found herself looking upon the part of him she’d tried not to see: the wound that engulfed the right side of his stomach. The medics had done a relatively good job of stitching him up, especially considering how badly hurt he probably was. Another pain came over her as she looked at the bright-red wound, but this time she could put a name to her emotion: guilt. That was not to say that she understood why she was feeling guilty, though.

 

Rey had enough of just awkwardly standing there, remarking upon his features, so she pulled up a chair to the side of the bed and sat in it. She didn’t really know what to do. Was she supposed to talk to him? He couldn’t hear her, so that was illogical. She wanted to provide him with comfort somehow, though. Cautiously, she reached out for his hand, which was laying perfectly still by his side, and she took it in her own. There was a sudden rush of emotions from him, just as she had felt on Ahch-To. More than anything, she felt how afraid Ben was, how conflicted, even in his unconscious state, although the conflict she was sensing felt different than what she had felt from him before; this was new strife, over something separate from his usual internal struggle between the dark and the light.

 

Rey realized she was analyzing him and perhaps stepping too far into his mind, and that wasn’t what she intended to do. She was _supposed_ to be providing him with much-needed comfort. She withdrew herself from his mind as best she could, and instead focused on what was in front of her. She leaned closer, examining the calloused hand that she was holding. Tiny scratches and healing scars littered his hand and travelled up his arm, which Rey figured was from nearly a lifetime of learning how to fight. His hand was cold, Rey noticed, likely from not moving in roughly a day. Being in a coma doesn’t do great things for your circulation. She wondered if she could warm up his hand, at least slightly, so she took her other hand and clasped it over top of his as well, moving her thumb in tiny circles, running it over his fingers.

 

Again, she felt the urge to talk to him, and this time, she didn’t resist, even if she felt foolish doing it. “Please,” she whispered. “I’m very afraid, and I know you are too. You’re the only one who feels conflicted in the way that I do. And I can’t protect you forever. There are many people here who could very well decide to kill you, and I wouldn’t be able to do anything about it.” She paused for a moment. “You can’t die. You’re the only one who understands.” She had to stop speaking, as for some reason tears had come to the surface for the second time that day. Upon saying it out loud, she had realized the kinship she felt towards him. He seemed to be the only one who understood the feeling of battling something within yourself. It was quite unfortunate, because he also turned out to be one of the worst people in the entire galaxy, but Rey reckoned that it was this mutual understanding she was feeling that had caused her to save him, not just her morals.

 

Rey heard the door to the medical bay open, and looked up to see Leia standing in the doorway. Upon seeing her son, Rey watched as Leia held back tears. She hesitated for a moment, before eventually stepping cautiously towards Ben. Rey looked down to see that she was still holding his hand, so she let go, embarrassed. She watched in silence as Leia reached out to touch Ben’s face, cupping his cheek in her hand. Rey realized that this was the first time Leia was seeing her son as a man rather than a boy.

 

“Thank you,” Leia said finally. “I know I said it before but I don’t think I truly illustrated how much it means to me.” Rey figured that Leia was talking about Ben’s rescue. “Can you… stay here? With him?” Leia continued. “I would do it, but I have matters to attend to constantly. I just want him to be safe. He’s not exactly the most… well-liked individual.”

 

Rey nodded. “Of course.” She didn’t particularly _want_ to spend all waking hours babysitting Ben Solo, but she knew how difficult it must have been for Leia, and wanted to help her in any way possible. There was also a tiny part of her that wanted to be there when he woke up; the part of her that yearned to reassure and comfort him. She didn’t know why that part of her even existed, but she decided not to question it. At least, not for now.

 

Leia bent down and kissed Ben on the forehead gently. She stood upright again and gave him another heart-rending look before leaving the room, without another word.

 

~

 

Ben drifted into consciousness, the bright lights of the medical bay slowly fading into view. He stared up at the ceiling in a haze, not caring where he was or why he was there.

 

Suddenly, he came to his senses and quickly sat up, his eyes darting around the room for answers, when he noticed Rey sitting beside his bed, her face obscured with worry.

 

“Hey, it’s okay! It’s okay. Calm down.” She stood up from her chair and reached out to him with both hands, pressing on his chest lightly in an attempt to stop him from getting up. The contact of her fingers against his bare skin caused him to sober up, if only slightly.

 

“How long have I…” He tried to ask, but his voice was slightly hoarse.

 

Rey removed her hands from his chest, and Ben couldn’t help but feel slightly disappointed. “Only about a day and a half.”

 

Ben shifted backwards so he could rest against the headboard of the bed. He tried to process everything that was happening. He remembered being in the Falcon, and then everything just started to get hazy in his mind after that. Apparently Rey had managed to get him to the Resistance base, and somehow he didn’t bleed out. “Why has no one killed me yet?” He couldn’t help but ask.

 

Rey laughed softly. “Because killing the General’s son isn’t very acceptable.”

 

Ben’s heart leapt. “Leia is here?”

 

“Don’t you remember?” She asked, but she seemed to have a look of realization. “Well, actually, I suppose you wouldn’t. You’d lost a lot of blood.”

 

Ben looked around the room once more, taking note of how no one else was in the room except for Rey. “Why are _you_ here?”

 

He could have sworn that he saw her cheeks turn slightly pink at the question. “No one else is particularly interested in protecting you,” she explained.

 

He wanted to ask why _she_ was particularly interested in protecting him, but he felt as if he would just be disappointed by the answer, so he resisted. Instead, he focused on his now-healing injuries, glancing down at the wound that was splayed across the left side of his abdomen and his arm. The pock-marked scars were an angry red. Mesmerized, he poked at his injury, which caused him to feel a sharp pain, and provoked Rey to yelp slightly.

 

“Ow. Please don’t… do that,” she stuttered, slightly embarrassed at her reaction.

 

“You can still feel it?” Ben asked.

 

Rey gave a small nod in reply. “While you were unconscious, I couldn’t really feel anything, so you couldn’t either, I guess, which is good. But now you’re awake.” She thought for a moment, as if to find the right words. “Ben, listen. I don’t know what motivated you to help us, or what pushed you to our side. It seems so out of character. And I can’t predict what choices you are going to make next; I mean, for all I know you could run off somewhere and never return. But you can’t. You can’t leave. I need you here.”

 

Ben’s heart leapt for the second time.

 

“Not because I believe you’re particularly compassionate,” she continued, “or cooperative, or likeable in any sense… But because you’re the only person I’ve ever met who has the tiniest understanding of what I feel. So you can’t just run away. You’ve made your choice, and now you must follow it through,” she stated firmly.

 

“What gave you the idea that I was planning to run off somewhere?” Ben asked, honestly curious. If Rey knew how he truly felt about her, she’d know that there was nowhere else in the galaxy that he wanted to be.

 

“I mean no offence, but you haven’t proven yourself to be particularly emotionally stable.”

 

“Well, you’ll be happy to know that I didn’t even intend to survive this long, so it’s not like I have anywhere else to be.”

 

Ben could have sworn he saw a smile tug at the corners of Rey’s mouth.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, kind of a short filler chapter. I promise that more stuff is going to happen soon. Also, thanks so much for your lovely comments! Reading them makes my day! <3

Rey made Ben promise not to try to get up, and then she darted out of the room, looking for General Organa. She searched the base, and eventually found her at one of the strategy tables, discussing what the plan was for when the First Order inevitably returned.

 

“General, he’s awake,” Rey said as she approached, causing Leia to look up, her eyes wide in anticipation. Some of the other officials looked up as well, slowly realizing who the ‘he’ was that Rey was referring to, and they whispered amongst themselves.

 

Leia slowly stepped away from the table, walking over to Rey. She wasn’t as excited as Rey has expected; in fact, she looked downright concerned.

 

“Is everything all right?” Rey couldn’t help but ask.

 

Leia shook her head. “I can’t see him. There’s no way. When he was unconscious, it was okay, but now…”

 

“What? Why not?” Rey thought of the gentleness in Leia’s expression when she had kissed Ben’s forehead.

 

“He may once have been the loving boy I had sent off to become a Jedi, and I may still love him and worry about him… but he has become a terrible creature.”

 

Rey was disturbed to hear what Leia thought of her own son. She didn’t disagree by any means, but it was still difficult to listen to. “…He needs you,” she protested.

 

Leia shook her head once again. “He doesn’t need me. In fact, I’m the last thing he needs.” With that, she walked back to the strategy table, and the rest of the Rebels quickly stopped gossiping, ready to get back to work.

 

Rey was bewildered. She wanted to argue with Leia, to convince her that the man in the medical bay was Ben Solo, not Kylo Ren, but she knew that there was nothing she could do, and debating it with the leader of the Resistance would be unwise.

 

Rey made her way back to the medical bay, wondering if she would tell Ben about what his mother had said. After all, she hadn’t told him where she was going. And she didn’t particularly _want_ to deliver the news that Leia was refusing to see him. But withholding information was the same as lying, in her eyes, so she knew that she had to tell him.

 

Rey opened the medical bay door to find Ben sitting up in bed, staring absentmindedly out the window. As she walked in, he looked up.

 

“That was quick,” he observed.

 

Rey sighed. “Ben, I’m sorry. I went to go tell the General that you’re awake, but… she’s not coming. She says she can’t.”

 

Ben’s expression was indecipherable. “I understand,” he said, monotone. Rey couldn’t tell if he was upset about this, or relieved, or a combination of both. He was quiet for a moment. “How long do I have to sit here?”

 

“Until you’re healed, unfortunately. You should be thankful. At least they haven’t imprisoned you, or something.” Rey’s tone was disdainful, as she was feeling upset at the recent exchange between Leia and Ben. She’d thought that since Ben had supposedly turned, their relationship was going to heal, but Rey realized that she had been naïve.

 

Ben gave the medical room a weary look. “Do you have any… books, or anything?”

 

Rey was surprised. She didn’t think he’d exactly be the type to be interested in reading. “It’s plausible,” she said, “would you like me to look?”

 

Ben shrugged, which Rey took as a yes, and left the room. She quickly made her way to the library, which she was actually quite familiar with, since she’d been working on her maps.

 

The library smelled like dust, and was usually completely empty, and yet it was usually completely organized; there was never a book out of place. Rey doubted there were many of the types of books Ben would be interested in, though. Most of the books stored in the library were manuals or maps or books full of strategies, rather than fiction. She walked over to the tiny novel section, searching through the shelves for something of interest. There were a few philosophy books, but somehow Rey thought that Ben wouldn’t like them. Eventually she found something with promise: an old-looking leather bound book with embossed print on the spine: ‘Lending Fire to the Stars’. It sounded like some sort of adventure, so she pulled it out of the shelf and leafed through it. Unfortunately, the text inside was in a language that she couldn’t understand. It was the only interesting-looking novel she had come across, though, so she decided to take her chances, hoping that Ben would be able to read it. She took some of the philosophy books as well, though, just in case.

 

~

 

Ben was restless. He couldn't believe that he wasn't allowed to go anywhere. Rey had been sitting with him the whole time, which was the only positive of the situation, but he didn’t let himself get his hopes up; he knew that she wasn’t spending time with him because she wanted to. He waited for what seemed like forever for Rey to return from her search for some form of entertainment. When he was younger, reading had been one of his most prominent hobbies, but he hadn’t had the opportunity to read for pleasure in a long time. The First Order didn’t exactly stockpile adventure stories.

 

If Ben was being perfectly honest with himself, entertainment wasn’t the only reason he was interested in reading. More than anything, he needed a distraction. He couldn’t allow himself to think about the situation with his mother any longer, especially knowing that he had no power over the situation.

 

Eventually, the door to the medical bay opened to reveal Rey, with a few different dusty books in her arms. “I didn’t find much,” she explained as she walked inside, and she lay a few books down on the bed in front of Ben. “The library here only really has maps and manuals. But I managed to find this.” She handed the largest-looking novel to him.

 

He read the cover. “What’s this?”

 

“The only real novel in the whole place. It’s in some other dialect, so I don’t know if you’ll be able to read it. If you can’t, I brought some philosophy books, although they won’t be quite as interesting.” She sat in the chair beside his bed, looking at him expectantly.

 

Ben flipped to the first page, recognizing the language as High Galactic. “This was probably written just after the Civil War.”

 

“Can you read it?” Rey asked.

“‘Lending Fire to the Stars: a classical love story by Sergell Sobeman’,” Ben read aloud. He chuckled, “is this a romance?”

 

Rey’s cheeks went slightly pink. “Is it? I had no idea; I can’t read it. I’ve never even read an adventure story before,” she admitted. “You don’t have to read it, if you don’t want to. I can find something else.”

 

“No, no. It’s fine.” He looked down at the worn pages for a moment, thinking about how sad it was that she’d never read a story. “I can read it aloud, if you’d like,” he offered, “I mean, unless you have something else to do.”

 

Rey’s face lit up. “That would be nice.”

 

“‘Part One: The Bride,’” Ben began. “‘Out of all the galaxies and all the systems, and within all the confines of societies and cultures, by far the most fantastic location ever to grace a navigational chart was Oprilia, a lush planet divided into two warring regions. And out of all the beauty in all of the territories on this entire planet, the most beautiful creature by far was Nova. She was the daughter of the king of the Northern Region, meaning that most of the population knew of her splendor. She had raven hair and warm brown eyes, and her pale skin was smooth and sweet. Her soft face emitted a youthful glow.’” He paused. “This is a bit corny; do you want me to continue?” He looked up to see Rey, listening intently. He couldn’t help but think that the book was describing a girl who was just like the one in front of him.

 

She nodded hesitantly.

 

“Okay,” he said, and he continued, yet he couldn’t help but smile at how interested she was in what seemed like such a silly story.  


	16. Chapter Sixteen

After a few chapters, one of the medics came in, saying that she needed to give Ben more medication. Rey couldn’t help but be disappointed that Ben had to stop reading. Not only was the story interesting, she loved listening to him. She’d never heard him speak so much before. Rather than his voice being ruled by his emotion, when he read, his tone was smooth and even. She loved to hear him play the parts of the different characters. He put in just the right amount of intonation. Rey hadn’t heard a lot of people read things before, but she knew that she liked the way he did it.

 

“This is probably going to make you fall asleep,” the medic said as she hooked up a syringe to one of the tubes that was attached to Ben’s arm. She glanced down at the book in his lap. “Sorry.” She pressed the plunger to inject the liquid.

 

“Does that hurt?” Ben asked Rey.

 

Rey was surprised at Ben’s obvious concern. “Hm? Oh. No.” Rey glanced down at her arm. There were a few tiny blue scars where the injection point was, but she didn’t feel any sharp pain; she only felt slightly uncomfortable.

 

The medic looked slightly confused at their exchange, but she didn’t question it, and instead quickly finished her work. “Try to get some rest,” she advised, and then left the room.

 

“Rey?” Ben asked, which took her aback slightly, as she couldn’t recall the last time he had ever said her name. “Are you going to stay? Overnight, I mean.”

 

“I have to,” she answered, guessing that ‘are you going to stay’ was his way of saying ‘please stay’.

 

He looked relieved, although with every moment that passed he seemed hazier due to the medication. “I don’t want to sleep yet,” he mumbled drowsily.

 

“Why?” Rey asked.

 

“Because my dreams make me scared.” His words slurred noticeably. The manner in which he was acting was similar to when he had lost all that blood after she’d rescued him; when he’d called her ‘princess’.

 

Rey knew he’d never admit these kind of things while he was clear-headed. “Do you mean nightmares?”

 

He nodded.

 

“What do you have nightmares about?”

“Me,” he muttered, laying down and turning so that he was facing away from the chair where Rey sat.

 

“What do you mean?” Rey persisted, but at this point Ben was almost entirely asleep, so she gave up. She picked up the book off the bed and placed it carefully on the bedside table. Just as she had promised, she had to sleep inside the medical room, but she wasn’t sure how she would do that; there wasn’t exactly another bed. She stood up and started searching through the cupboards that lined the room, eventually finding a blanket. She folded it in half and laid it on the floor for her to sleep on. As she lay down, she thought about the logic of her sleeping in the same room as Ben to protect him. Would she really be able to provide much protection if she wasn’t even awake? Probably not, but honestly at this point she didn’t really care. She felt oddly defensive of him, and the concept of sleeping in a different room seemed absurd to her.

It took her longer than usual to fall asleep, which wasn’t surprising, considering she was laying on the floor. The silence and stillness of the room gave her a lot of time to think, and she thought about what Ben had meant when he said that he had nightmares about himself. At first it didn’t make a lot of sense, as Rey had only ever had bad dreams where there was some sort of outside source coming to hurt her, something leaving her vulnerable, but the more she thought about it, the more she understood what Ben was feeling. If she’d done any number of the things that Ben had done in her life, she’d be afraid of herself too.

 

Yet, this realization of how much of a terrifying person he was didn’t put her off of him at all; in fact, it only made her more sympathetic towards him. She couldn’t imagine being so afraid of herself that she wouldn’t be able to sleep. She at least hoped that the medication would give him some relief from this struggle, and he would be able to rest. And, sure enough, she drifted off to sleep as well.

 

~

 

Ben awoke in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. The drugs had only enhanced the terrors in his nightmares, and ever since he arrived at the base, he had sworn off dreamwalking in Rey’s mind anymore, so there was no relief from his fear.

 

He had dreamt that he was trapped in a labyrinth of tunnels deep in the bowels of \Snoke’s ship, and he was being chased by the Praetorian guards. As he turned every corner, he’d been stopped by them until he was surrounded. He’d woken up just as they had closed in on him.

 

He sat up in bed, trying to slow his breathing. At first he looked around and panicked, as he didn’t see Rey anywhere, but he quickly realized that she was sleeping on the floor next to his bed, curled up on a spare blanket. Her serene expression calmed him. How could anything be wrong in the whole galaxy if Rey was untroubled?

 

Eventually, concern swept over him. Why was she on the floor? Didn’t the supposedly brilliant Resistance have at least a cot or something? He wondered if it would be out of line for him to ask her to come sleep in his bed. It would fit both of them, after all. And she would be much more comfortable. There was also the tiny selfish part of his mind that just yearned to be a little bit closer to her.

 

“Rey,” he said into the dark, and he watched her stir slightly. “Rey,” he repeated.

 

Rey awoke, rubbing her face with her hand. “What?” she mumbled, sitting up slowly. At that point, it seemed like she realized that Ben could be waking her up because he was in trouble, and she appeared to sober up, although she still looked mildly annoyed at being woken up. “Are you okay?” she asked, meeting his gaze as he leaned over the side of the bed.

 

He didn’t want to tell her about his nightmare, but he figured that pity was really the only way he’d convince her to sleep next to him. “I had a bad dream.”

 

Her expression softened into one of sympathy. “What was it about?”

 

Ben shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. I just,” he looked down at his lap as he spoke, “didn’t want to be alone. I know I shouldn’t have woken you up.”

 

“No, no, it’s okay,” Rey said, standing up and then taking a seat on the edge of the bed. “I don’t mind. You shouldn’t ever have to feel like you’re alone.” She took his hand to comfort him, and he felt his pulse quicken at the contact. They stayed like that for a few moments, Rey running her thumb over Ben’s.

 

“Will you sleep… up here? With me?” he asked hesitantly, though he half-expected her to flat-out refuse.

 

~

 

Rey was taken aback at his offer. She concluded that the medication he was on was affecting him somehow. She knew that she should decline—that sleeping in the same bed as someone was hardly an effective way of protecting them—but she couldn’t help it. She wanted to know what it was like to be so close to him. More than anything. She made the excuse to herself that she was just being a good person; that as someone who was considerably injured, he should be awarded a certain level of sympathy. But she couldn’t completely fool herself.

 

“Okay,” she said finally. Ben lay down, and moved over so that there was room for her. She hesitated for a moment, wondering if he was even wearing any pants. “You’re not… completely naked, are you?” she asked. She was glad that it was dark enough that Ben couldn’t see her blush.

 

He laughed softly, and pulled back the covers to reveal that he was wearing boxer shorts. Rey felt a rush of relief, and cautiously climbed into bed beside him. She lay down facing away from him, as she figured that facing towards him would be much too awkward. She could feel the warmth of his body behind her, but they weren’t quite close enough to touch, and the tiny space between them was practically agony. She desperately wanted him to lay his arm over her, but she knew that would be much too personal. She could feel his breath on the nape of her neck, and for the millionth time, she couldn’t help but remember her particularly suggestive dream. He had been so affectionate and yet so possessive; she had to remind herself once again that it was just a stupid fantasy, and that he would never act in that manner.

 

And at that precise moment, he proved her wrong. He shifted his body so that his chest pressed up against her back. She felt his fingers just barely rest on her hip, and she had to stop herself from shivering at the sensation. Was this really happening? She couldn’t tell as she drifted closer and closer to unconsciousness, his heartbeat lulling her to sleep.

 

~

 

When Ben finally awoke, sunlight streamed into the medical room through the tiny window. His mind was still hazy with sleep, and he took in his surroundings. He was amazed to find that Rey was sound asleep in front of him, her back just barely touching his chest. He watched her body rise and fall steadily with her breath. The events of the night before slowly came back to him, along with a feeling of embarrassment. Had he really convinced her to sleep next to him through sympathy? He felt kind of pathetic, but honestly, he didn’t care all that much, as right now he was close enough to her to know that she smelled like the ocean.

 

He stayed like that for what felt like forever; unmoving, just observing her while she was so peaceful. He was envious, in a way. He couldn’t recall ever feeling such a sense of calm as what she seemed to be experiencing. He so desperately wanted to brush his fingers along her face, or tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, but he didn’t dare disturb her serenity. To him it would be like throwing a stone into a perfectly still pond.

After a few minutes, Rey slowly awoke, and became considerably less calm, as she nearly fell off the bed in shock, as she likely realized where she was. But, just as Ben had, she seemed to remember how she had got there, and she relaxed, sitting up. “How did you sleep?” she asked him.

 

Ben lay, looking up at her. “Fine,” he said, somewhat dismissively. It was true—the rest of the night was untouched by his nightmares—but he wasn’t interested in telling Rey about that. In fact, he was mostly annoyed. Now that she was awake, she’d surely leave.

 

He was right. Rey gave him one last look before climbing out of the bed and straightening out her clothes. She collected the blanket off of the floor from the night before, and shook it out slightly before folding it and setting it neatly on the chair.

 

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door, and Ben looked up to see the medic entering the room. She noticed Rey, and gave her a polite smile. “Did you watch over him last night?” she asked.

 

Rey nodded.

 

“Well,” the medic continued, as she walked over to Ben and started disconnecting a few tubes, “you’ll be happy to know that you won’t have to do that anymore. He’s being discharged today. He should be good to go.”

 

Rey looked back at Ben, her expression indecipherable.

 

Ben was confused as well. They hadn’t exactly discussed what would happen once he was released from the medical bay. He understood that there was still a possibility he would be imprisoned by the Rebels.

 

“Where is he going to stay?” Rey asked the medic, as if she could read Ben’s mind.

 

The medic thought for a moment. “They’ve probably got some quarters set up for him. You’ll have to ask one of the leaders. I wouldn’t know. For now, though, you’re going to have to leave. I’ll let you know when you can come back to pick him up.” She noticed the concern on Rey’s face and attempted to comfort her. “Hey, don’t worry. You can take this time to find a place for him. And maybe you can take care of yourself for once in a while.”

 

With another long look, Rey finally left, leaving Ben alone with the medic.

 

Despite her constantly administering him medication and taking care of him, Ben had actually never had a conversation with the medic. Well, until now.

 

“So, big day, huh?” she said as she finished removing a few bandages from his arm.

 

He felt like he was being talked down to, like a child. “I suppose.” Once he was completely free of bandages and tubes, he swung his legs over the side of the bed so that his feet touched the floor.

 

“Listen, I know you’re not super optimistic about being… introduced to the Resistance… and I’m sure they’re not exactly happy about meeting you, but…” She smiled. “Everything’s gonna be okay, all right? You’re got Rey, at least. She’ll stick up for you. That’s what she does.” She gave him a reassuring look before rummaging through the cupboards, and surfacing with a set of clothes, which she lay on the bed beside him. “I hope these will do, at least for now. You’ll have to come back every now and then to be checked up on, of course. And to get pain medication, if you need it. Other than that, I think you’re good to go.”

 

She was just about to leave for good when Ben stopped her. “I never got your name,” he said.

 

His words made her smile even brighter than before. “Ayessa. What’s yours?”

 

“Ben,” he answered simply. He hadn’t said his birth name in a very long time. Far too long. It sounded strange.

 

“It was nice to meet you, Ben. Good luck,” Ayessa said, and left the room.

 

“Thank you.” He hadn’t said that in a long time either.

 

~

 

Rey waited patiently outside of the medical bay for Ben to exit. She sat against the wall, fidgeting with her clothes and thinking about the current rooming situation. She had talked to Leia and a few of the other members of authority, but they had all just told her that he could stay wherever there was free space. All the sleeping quarters accommodated two people, but unfortunately all the quarters had been taken up by at least one person, which meant that someone would have to share a room with him. At the moment, she couldn’t think of even one person who would be open to the idea other than herself. She wondered how Ben would react when he found out they were going to be roommates.

 

Suddenly, the door to the medical bay slid open, causing her to look up, but she was disappointed to find that it was the medic again, and not Ben as she had expected. The medic seemed to notice her dismayed expression. “Don’t worry, he’ll be out soon,” she said, before walking off.

 

After what seemed like forever, the door to the medical bay finally opened again, and Rey stood up, at last coming face-to-face with Ben Solo.

 

She had actually forgotten how tall he was after so long of him being in bed. He was wearing a long-sleeve beige shirt, and a pair of practical brown pants, held up by a utility belt. It was standard Resistance clothing, but it was so strange to see him wearing it. Rey had never actually seen him wear any other colour than black before.

 

Ben had the thumb of his left hand hooked in his pocket, while his right hand held the book that he had been reading to her. “Well?” he said finally.

 

Rey realized she’d been staring for much too long. “Sorry,” she mumbled, shaking her head slightly as if to clear her thoughts. “Follow me.” She led him down the hallway in the direction of the sleeping quarters, which unfortunately required briefly walking through the strategy room. Luckily, Leia was nowhere in sight. The other officials that were sitting around the table looked up in shock, but Rey ignored them, and walked a bit faster. Eventually they arrived at the door to Rey’s quarters. She stopped, and turned to Ben. “There’s not a lot of space here, and no one else really wanted to stay in a room with you…” She sighed. “So you’ll have to stay with me.”

 

Rey pressed the button to open the door, and walked inside. “At least you know that I won’t try to kill you in your sleep.”

 

Ben paused for a moment, looking around the room, and then followed her inside. “Do I really know that?” He asked, but his tone wasn’t snarky or mean; instead, it was teasing.

 

Was that a joke? Rey had never heard him tell a joke before. She was surprised, but she brushed it aside. “That’ll be yours, as you probably guessed,” she said, gesturing towards the empty bunk opposite hers.

 

Ben looked at the bed for a moment, seemingly deep in thought, before quickly looking up at Rey. “Where’s my saber?” He asked.

 

Rey sighed. “I’d love to give it to you, but I don’t think anyone else here would feel very safe if you had it in your possession.”

 

“By that logic, what’s stopping me from just taking yours?” he asked, a scowl working its way onto his face.

 

“Mine was destroyed, remember?” Rey sat down on her bunk, pulling the two pieces of the saber out from her rucksack.

 

“What?!” Ben rushed over, taking the pieces out of her hands and examining them. “How?”

 

“On Snoke’s ship. I’m sorry, I thought you knew.”

 

Ben had a look of dawning understanding. “How could I have known? I was unconscious.” He sat down on the bunk beside her, slotting the two pieces together. He was silent for a moment. “You trust me, don’t you?”

 

“What?” Rey was confused at both the change of subject and the question.

 

“Do you? It’s a simple question.” His tone was slightly hostile.

 

Rey weighed her answer carefully. “Yes.”

 

“Then give it to me. My saber, I mean.” He made eye contact with Rey, and his expression was truly pleading. “It’s the only thing I own.”

 

She couldn’t help but feel sympathy towards him. After all, she didn’t have much to call her own either. And, to be fair, he had just abandoned everything that he knew a few short days ago. But she still felt uneasy about it. “You know I can’t do that,” she said, her voice dropping to a whisper.

 

“Why not?” The scowl returned.

 

“Because… I can’t lie. I can’t betray my superiors’ trust. I don’t… do that.”

 

He was silent for a moment. “I can help you fix this,” he said finally, referring to the two halves of the light saber he was holding.

 

“Really? How?”

 

“I’ll tell you how. Once you give me what’s mine.” He leaned slightly closer to her, as if trying to intimidate her.

 

Rey laughed dryly. “It’s funny how manipulative you get the minute that you spot something that you want,” she said, standing up and wandering into the middle of the small room, maybe just to get away from him.

 

Ben tossed the broken halves on the bunk and stood up as well, following her, but he stayed silent.

 

“And to think, I really was just beginning to see the person that you are when you aren’t trying to exploit other people.” She faced away from him, staring at the blank wall, attempting to keep calm.

 

“I’m not trying to exploit anyone,” Ben argued, with the hostility still seeping into his voice.

 

“Honestly, at this point I can’t tell if you’re trying to influence me, or if you do truly believe that you’re not doing anything wrong.” Rey was starting to get angry, but mostly at herself. She really had trusted him, but unfortunately, the minute he had a shard of his own freedom he was already back to his old pattern of behavior.

 

She was expecting him to get even more upset at her words, but what he said next truly surprised her.

 

“I’m sorry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I wrote a bit of a longer chapter because I'm going to be on vacation for a week, so I'm not going to post for a little while. Hope you liked this though! See you soon <3


	17. Chapter Seventeen

Rey whipped around. “What?”

 

Ben stared at the ground in remorse. He couldn’t believe that he’d just earned his freedom and he was already using it to try to influence the only person that he cared about on this whole damn Resistance base. “I just can’t help it. It’s like a defense mechanism, or something.” He took a deep breath. “You’re right. Don’t give it to me. I’d be a danger.”

 

“Ben, that’s not why I’m not going to give it to you. I can’t because there are other people here who don’t believe in you. Not me. I trust you, remember?” She looked back at the broken light saber. “Were you telling the truth? When you said you could fix it?”

 

Ben was just about to answer when a girl appeared in the doorway, her brown eyes quickly flickering between the two. She seemed familiar; Ben figured she was a pilot or something. “Rey… we’re having a strategy meeting,” she said finally, “we figured you’d want to be there.”

 

Rey seemed to process the information and looked over to Ben, her expression unreadable. She looked back to the girl. “Can he come?”

 

The girl glanced at Ben, and then answered. “Well, it’s not like we can leave him alone.”

 

Ben despised being talked about as if he wasn’t even there, like he was a child or an animal or something. It was really getting on his nerves, but he stayed quiet, knowing he would only make the situation worse for himself.

 

Rey looked at him once again, and as always, her expression said so much that he couldn’t quite decipher. He absentmindedly wondered if he’d ever know her well enough to know what she was thinking just by looking at her. “C’mon,” she said, pulling him out of his thoughts, and he found himself following her out of the room and down the hallway.

 

As they approached the strategy room, it was as if he wasn’t even in control of his own body; as if he was on autopilot, and his mind was taking a backseat. He knew that with every step, he was getting closer to seeing Leia, the one person who he swore he’d never see, but he couldn’t stop himself from following Rey. His feet seemed to move automatically.

 

Ben wondered for a moment if he even remembered what Leia looked like, but the sensible part of his mind immediately had an answer for him: _of course you do._ For so long he had blocked out memories of Leia’s warm eyes, and her kind hand comfortingly cupping his cheek, wiping away his tears. Now he was slowly letting them seep through, like a leak in a dam. He was wary that he couldn’t just open the floodgates all at once, or he’d surely drown.

 

After what seemed like an eternity, and no time at all, he was at the door to the strategy room. He followed Rey and the pilot inside, to find a large group of pilots, medics, officials, and droids, all gathered around an oval-shaped table in the center, on which a map of the nearby galaxy was being projected. General Organa was in the middle of pointing out a specific star system when she noticed Ben standing in the doorway, and she froze, her outstretched arm hanging still in the air. The rest of the group of Rebels had originally been watching Leia, but they noticed her reaction and looked in the direction that she was looking, which only astonished the crowd as well.

 

Rey was the first to speak, causing Ben a rush of relief. “Everyone, I… understand that we’ve all had our disagreements in the past. Many of us were different people yesterday than we are today. And I know that the vast majority of you aren’t willing to accept and forgive people who have…” She paused and chose her words carefully, “been on the side of those who have brought harm to you, and what you love. But you must understand that you might not even be alive today if it wasn’t for the actions of Ben Solo.”

 

There were a few whispers at the mention of his name, but Ben didn’t care about that; he was only focused on his mother’s expression. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t read her expression, and that made him endlessly nervous. He didn’t particularly give a shit if every pilot and janitor and BB unit decided to forgive him. He only cared what Leia thought of him. Would she ever even give him a chance? He knew he had to say something, but he didn’t know what, so he stayed quiet.

 

The few whisperers in the crowd quieted down, and the room grew deathly still. Leia finally made eye contact with Ben, after so long of avoiding his gaze. There was something pleading about her expression, like she was arguing with herself internally. She seemed to summon her resolve. “Rey, the Resistance appreciates his actions, but I can’t ignore the fact that there are many people here who are not comfortable with him hearing our strategies.”

 

“What would he do with that information?” Rey asked, becoming slightly defensive. “It’s not as if he can attack us or something, he’s just one person.”

 

“If for some reason he was in communication with the First Order, it would put this entire base in danger,” Leia said firmly.

 

“Surely you know that he’s not. Surely you of all people know,” Rey said, with a certain kind of fire that Ben had never heard in her voice before.

 

“Rey, I believe that your personal interests are interfering with your motives,” Leia accused.

 

Rey seemed like she had more to say, but Ben sensed that she was holding herself back. She stayed quiet.

 

“You’re advocating for him, and I respect that, but at this time the Resistance simply cannot trust him. I refuse to put us all in danger. He can’t be present in our meetings.”

 

“I understand, but-” Ben could see that Rey was getting frustrated. “Where’s he supposed to go then? I can’t leave him alone. He’s not safe here. You’ve made that clear.”

 

“If you’re so insistent on protecting him, then he’s your responsibility. You’ll have to stay with him until the Resistance is certain that he is not a threat.” Leia seldom raised her voice, but at this point her composure seemed to be wearing thin.

 

“That’s hardly fair,” Rey argued, “I won’t be able to attend any strategy meetings. And who decides when the Resistance trusts him again?”

 

“Rey,” Leia said, eerily calm, “that’s an order.”

 

Ben felt completely powerless. He watched Rey’s eyes dart hopelessly around the room, scanning the sympathetic faces that watched her and did nothing. She stood, blinking for a few seconds, before she turned on her heel and strode out of the room. Ben remained for a moment, having the urge to say something to the room full of Rebels, but he decided against it and followed Rey. She walked quickly, and he was careful to keep up so that he wouldn’t get lost in the endless maze of the Resistance base. Eventually she reached her quarters, and once inside, she leaned up against the wall, wearily looking up the ceiling. She let out a heavy sigh.

 

Ben awkwardly hovered in the doorway, not knowing if he could approach her. He’d seen her angry only once before, and that was when she was trying to kill him in a forest, so he didn’t exactly know what to expect.

 

Rey finally spoke. “It’s just… so unfair. I get punished for doing what I believe is right.” She laughed dryly. “To think that Leia of all people is the one who’s holding me back. She was the one I respected the most.” She slid down so that she was sitting on the floor.

 

Ben cautiously stepped into the room and sat down next to her. “I’m sorry.” He wasn’t quite used to saying that yet, but he knew it was what he needed to say.

 

“It’s not your fault,” Rey assured him.

 

“You know that’s not true. I’m a burden. You have to look after me, like a child. It’s not right.” He looked at the floor as he spoke. “It’s not right because you’re so clever. You’re so sharp. You should be in that room with all of those pilots, making up strategies.”

 

“Thank you,” Rey said softly. “And for the record, I don’t think you’re a burden.”

 

It was quiet for a moment. Ben wanted to say a lot more, he wanted to tell her over and over how remarkable he thought she was, but he knew he couldn’t.

 

“What are we supposed to do now?” Rey asked, but she didn’t wait for him to answer. “I don’t know if they’re even going to let us outside.” She thought for a moment. “When… when Jessika came into the room you were saying something. About the saber.”

 

Ben recalled what he was going to say. “It’s possible to fix it. Any Force-wielder would be able to do it, theoretically.” He paused. “You’ve never put together a weapon, have you?”

 

“What? Of course I have, I’m a scavenger.”

 

“No, I mean like through meditation. Did you… do that with Skywalker?”

 

“Unfortunately, my training with Luke was cut a bit short,” she said, her tone bittersweet. “Do you mean to tell me that he knew how to build a light saber?”

 

“Any real Jedi knows how to build one.” Ben remembered regrettably how he fled the Jedi temple before he ever got the opportunity to build his own weapon. Snoke taught him how, of course, and it was under his guidance that Ben had created the cross-guard saber, based on ancient designs dating back thousands of years.

 

“Do you…” Rey trailed off, revising her question. “Can you teach me?”

 

Rey asking Ben for guidance made his heart skip a beat. He’d sensed for so long how lost she felt, how much she yearned to be taught something, and now she was giving him the privilege of teaching her. It was a duty he almost couldn’t accept. Surely he wouldn’t be able to teach her anything of value; he was the prime example of poor guidance. “It’s going to be difficult. I mean, Jedi create their weapons after years of meditation. It’s not something you can learn in a day,” he explained, hoping to discourage her from the concept.

 

Rey looked glumly at the silent quarters that they were sitting in. “It’s not as if we have anything else to do.”

 

Ben considered the risks of teaching Rey, but with each moment that passed, his desire to help her grew stronger and stronger, and the reasons why he shouldn’t seemed to disappear. “…Okay.”

 

“Really?” Rey responded eagerly.

 

“Yeah, as long as you’re willing to work hard at it.” Ben knew it was a redundant thing to say; Rey was one of the most persistent people he had ever met.

 

“When can we start?”

 

He glanced at the window that was letting daylight into the small room. “As soon as we’re able to go outside.”

 

Rey’s optimism seemed to fade slightly. “I don’t know how we’re going to convince the officials that we have any reason to leave the base, especially after what just happened out there.”

 

Ben shrugged. “Who says that we need to convince anyone of anything?”

 

Rey narrowed her eyes.

 

“They’re all busy in the meeting room, aren’t they? Listen, it’s just for a little while. It’s not a big deal.” More than anything he wanted to go outside so that he could teach her. He knew she likely wouldn’t be willing to sneak out of the base, but it was worth a shot.

 

He was expecting her to completely refuse, but instead she was quiet for a moment. Ben could tell that she was still upset over what had happened with Leia. If he was being honest with himself, he was quite angry too.

 

“They can’t keep you in here,” he said quietly. “They can’t push you around like that.”

 

After another few minutes of silence, a small smile worked its way onto her face. “Let’s do it.”

 

~

 

“Really?” Ben looked surprised. Rey was relatively surprised as well. She never thought that she’d agree to sneaking out of the base, but here she was. She was acting mostly out of anger at what had happened at the strategy meeting, but she justified it to herself with the fact that improving her own skills and fixing the light saber were both positive things.

 

“Yes. But only until dusk,” Rey stated firmly. She figured that gave them a few hours outside, and a set time at which they would return, so that there was no chance they would be away for too long.

 

Without another word, Ben walked over to the window, inspecting the pane of glass.

 

“There’s no use, it doesn’t open,” Rey explained.

 

He stood back, looking at the window from a distance.

Rey sat down on the bed, pulling her homemade map out her rucksack. It was still unfinished, but the part that displayed the inner workings of the base was complete, which was all she needed. “We’ll have to find another way out of the base. There should be a service tunnel that leads out to south of the base, and it’s unlikely that anyone would walk through the…” Her words trailed off as she looked up to see that Ben had used the Force to cleanly remove the entire pane of glass, and was holding the glass a few feet in the air. He glanced at Rey, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

 

“What the hell, Ben?!” Rey hissed, trying to keep her voice low so as not to attract suspicion. “You can’t just… take out the entire window!”

 

Ben carefully set the pane of glass down on the floor, and his outstretched hand that he was using to control the Force fell to his side. “Why not?”

 

“I mean…” Rey stuttered, but for the life of her she couldn’t actually think of one valid reason. The room was on the ground floor, so they’d have no trouble getting out of the building. “Whatever. Have it your way.” She shook her head to dismiss the subject, and finished shoving her maps back into her rucksack, which she pulled onto her back. She walked over to the automatic door and pressed the button to lock it from the inside. Hopefully no one would come looking for her, at least for the next few hours.

 

She turned to see Ben carefully stepping around the pane of glass, after which he swiftly hopped over the windowsill into the grass outside. He turned back to face her, the sunlight illuminating him, and for a moment Rey was taken aback by how striking he looked. She brushed it aside, and cautiously stepped around the glass as well. She wasn’t quite tall enough to vault over the windowsill as he had, so she had to climb over. Eventually the soles of her shoes touched the grass, and she couldn’t help but smile as the sun hit her face as well. It had been almost a week since she had felt the warm sun on her skin, and even when she’d experienced it last, it hadn’t felt as nice as this. She glanced over to Ben, who was staring at the surrounding trees and wildlife in relative awe.

 

“So, where should we go?” Rey asked.

 

Ben met her gaze. “Wherever you’d like.”


	18. Chapter Eighteen

Ben ended up following Rey on a haphazard path through the large meadow, and it was endlessly colorful. The sun sparkled on the river flowing in the distance. A gentle breeze blew through the grasses where they walked. Ever since Ben rebelled from the First Order, he had opened himself up to the Force more, as he no longer feared the light side. As he travelled through the warm environment, he could feel the Living Force all around him with an intensity that he had never experienced before.

 

The influence of the Force certainly didn’t help his feelings for Rey. He tried his hardest to ignore it, as he knew she didn’t feel the same way, but with every moment he seemed to be falling farther and farther.

 

Eventually the pair reached the top of a hill that overlooked the large valley. They reached the very edge, and Rey sat down in the grass cross-legged, facing the sun. Ben sat down beside her, but he didn’t bother trying to sit cross-legged; he was much too lanky and not nearly flexible enough to sit like that.

 

“So…” Rey looked at Ben expectantly. “Where do we start?”

 

That was a heavy question. Ben sifted through his general knowledge of the Force, trying to figure out what he could possibly introduce to her. She was powerful, and she had so many abilities already. Of course, she likely didn’t know much about the technical and theoretical aspects of the Force. Ben figured that the first pillar of Jedi knowledge would be a relatively logical place to begin, but he wondered how much Luke Skywalker had already taught her. “What have you been told about the Force?”

 

Rey laughed.

 

“What?” Ben was reasonably confused.

 

“Sorry, it’s just that, I’ve answered that question before, and I made an absolute fool of myself.”

 

Ben wondered what she could possibly mean by that, but he dismissed it. “Well, you’ve learned things since then, right?”

 

Rey nodded softly, and took a deep breath. “At first I had no idea what the Force was. I categorized it with the likes of magic and fantasy. And then I learned what it’s supposed to be, how it’s supposed to act, and for a while it made sense. But then it just completely betrayed all expectations. I was under the impression that the Force was conflict and resolution, present in everything, that it was just the natural tension between everything that exists. But if that’s true, why does it act like a higher power, like a sentient being with a will and a purpose?”

 

Ben felt himself relax slightly. He did actually know the answer to her question. “There are two different aspects of the Force. The one that you’re describing, the one that Skywalker likely taught you about, is the Living Force. It’s present in everything, but most prominent in living creatures. It’s the energy that you feel when you touch the ground, the… hum.” He wasn’t sure how to describe it other than that. He’d always sensed the Living Force as a vibration, a shockwave emanating from the heart of every living thing.

 

It was a strange description, but Rey seemed to understand. She lightly pressed her fingertips to the soil between the blades of grass, as if to test what he had said. She appeared to feel what he was describing, and looked up at him, a small smile gracing her features.

 

Her expression motivated him to continue. “But the sentient being, the will that you’ve sensed… that’s the other aspect. The Unifying Force. It’s the fabric of space and time itself. Fate, if you believe in that sort of thing.” He paused for a moment, remembering when they had touched hands on Ahch-To. “That’s how we saw glimpses of each other’s futures.”

 

Rey had a look of understanding, and stared out into the valley solemnly. Ben knew what he felt when he thought of how they connected for the first time, but he yearned for the millionth time to know what she was feeling. He was so used to being able to look into people’s minds and sift through their thoughts and feelings, but now he had sworn off being so invasive, and it was tearing him apart. He felt powerless.

 

“You were right,” she said finally.

 

“About what?”

 

“About my future. When you told me that you saw me stand with you, I thought you were lying. But you were right.”

 

“I wouldn’t lie to you.” Ben wondered if that was entirely true. Rey had expressed that she considered withholding information to be just as immoral as telling a lie.

 

Rey thought for another moment, her expression slowly clouding over with worry. “We’ll have to return to the base soon.”

 

“What? We’ve barely talked at all yet.” Ben looked out over the valley at the sun, which was dipping closer to the horizon, but hadn’t quite reached it yet. He could feel his heart sink in disappointment.

 

“Yes, but I’m not entirely sure we’ll be able to find our way back as quickly as we got here.” She rummaged through her rucksack, and pulled out a map drawn on weathered paper. She opened up the map and inspected it. “It was foolish of me not to bother with the paths outside of the base,” she mumbled.

 

Ben leaned in closer to admire the map. “Did you make this?” He asked.

 

She nodded, and Ben couldn’t help but be impressed. He’d seen her drawings in her dreams, but he hadn’t been sure if that was accurate to real life. Now, however, he could see that she was skilled in her creation of the tiny beautiful trees and buildings that dotted the map.

 

Rey pulled a small ink pen out of the bag, and searched the map for a certain spot. She made a tiny dot on the top of hill, presumably the one they were sitting on at that moment. “I’m guessing we’re facing west,” she said, glancing up at the sun for a moment, “which means that this patch of trees behind us is what we need to go through to get back to the base.”

 

“You’re missing a ravine,” interjected Ben.  


“Hm?”

 

“While we were walking here, we crossed a small ravine.” Ben carefully took the map out of Rey’s hands, and borrowed her pen. He was terribly worried that he would somehow mess up what she had created, but he knew that she’d rather have correct information. Just past the patch of trees, he drew a few lines to represent the ravine, and labelled it simply: “ravine”.

 

“Whoa,” said Rey, which confused Ben.

 

“What?”

 

“Your writing,” she said, fascinated, and she took back the map, inspecting the tiny word that he had written. “I didn’t know you could write like this. It’s lovely.”

 

Ben had never considered his writing particularly impressive. Sure, he could write in cursive, and he’d practiced calligraphy for years, but the flowing script he wrote in hadn’t been out of place amongst the First Order officials and the Sith. He supposed, though, that it might seem different to a scavenger. He knew it was silly, but he felt a sense of pride rising in his chest at impressing Rey.

 

“Can you write more?” she asked, and flipped the map over.

 

Ben didn’t exactly want to tarnish her map with his scribbles, but she had such a hopeful look in her eyes that he just couldn’t refuse. He was about to sign ‘Kylo Ren’ on the paper, but he hesitated, as that wasn’t exactly his name anymore. ‘Ben Solo’, he wrote instead. It felt strange to write, like it was someone else’s name.

 

Rey looked at the calligraphy in wonder. “I wish that I could write like that.” She took the pen and the overturned map from Ben, and added her name next to his. Simply ‘Rey’. It was messy and barely legible, but it was the most beautiful and genuine thing he’d ever seen. He didn’t dare say that, though.

 

“Anyway.” Rey flipped the map back over. “We need to find our way back. It’s going to be dark soon. We can make our way through the patch of trees, through the ravine, and back into the base through my quarters, which is in the south wing of the building.”

 

Ben wasn’t paying attention to what she was saying in the slightest, as the sun was approaching the horizon, and was casting her face in a warm orange glow. Were there that many freckles on her face before?

 

“Is that okay?” She asked.

 

“What?” Ben snapped out of his trance.

 

“The ravine. Do you think we should cross the ravine? It wasn’t too deep, was it? Or will we have to go around it?”

 

“No, no, we can cross it. That’s fine.” He stood up, and offered a hand to Rey to help her up. As she stood up, if only for a moment, Ben could feel a flash of what she was feeling. “You’re worried,” he said, still holding her hand.

 

Rey pulled her hand away, likely out of surprise. “Well, sort of. How did you know?”

 

“You must be more connected with the Force, even after meditating for only a few moments.” The observation made Ben realize how powerful she truly was. “What’s concerning you?”

 

She shook her head dismissively. “I’m fine, I just… can’t help but worry about what might happen if someone finds out that I snuck out.”

 

“Worried you’ll get in trouble?” Ben said, his voice slightly teasing.

 

Rey began to walk in the direction of the trees, and Ben followed. “No, I’m not,” she insisted, “I’m worried they’ll think we’re conspiring against them, or something.”

 

“You realize that’s outlandish. You’re their golden child. You can do wrong.”

 

“Evidently not,” Rey argued, “I mean, you saw what happened in the strategy room today.”

 

“They’ll forgive you. They always will,” Ben said. His words held more weight than we had intended.

 

“I don’t want there to be a need for them to forgive me in the first place,” she countered as she began to walk through the trees. The landscape of Dantooine was relatively barren, so the trees had large trunks and were fairly spaced out. To call it a forest would be an exaggeration; it provided virtually no shade.

 

Ben stayed quiet; he couldn’t argue with her. Instead he focused on trying not to trip over the various roots and rocks that poked out of the ground. He watched Rey for a moment. She swiftly avoided every obstacle with ease. It seemed like she was walking on air, she was so nimble. Sometimes he envied how lightly she could tread. It was like she had absolutely nothing weighing on her soul.

 

“What’s your favorite color?” Rey asked, still steadily moving in the direction of the base.

 

“What?”

 

Rey stopped for a moment, and turned to look at him. “I’m realizing that I barely know anything about you. I just learned that you can write in cursive, for kriff’s sake. So, what’s your favorite color?” She continued walking.

 

“I don’t have one,” he answered simply, stepping around a particularly large rock.

 

“That’s not true. Everyone has a color that they like best.”

 

“I’ve just never thought about it before,” he said, his voice mildly defensive, but he realized he was being irrational, and that she was just trying to make conversation. “What’s yours?”

 

“Green,” she answered immediately, and Ben could hear her smile in her voice, even though she was facing away from him.

 

“Why?” Ben asked. He’d figured that she’d be partial to a delicate color, like blue or something, so he truly wanted to know.

 

“It’s bright and happy. It’s the color of life.” She reached up to one of the trees and let her hand brush past a few leaves as she walked. “I didn’t particularly see a lot of green on Jakku.” Ben could hear her optimism fall slightly as she talked about her home planet, but she quickly moved past it. “This is the last time I’ll ask,” she said tauntingly, “What’s your favorite color?”

 

He couldn’t but think of the warm glow that the setting sun had cast on her features. “Orange,” he answered without thinking.

 

“Ah. Like the color of fire?”

 

“No, no. Like the sun, when it sets.”

 

“Really?” Rey seemed surprised, and she turned around to look at the setting sun behind him. “Like that?” She asked.

 

Ben turned around as well, admiring the color of the sky. “Yeah, I guess.”

 

It was comfortably silent for a moment as they both watched the sun.

 

“Well, I think that’s lovely,” Rey said, and Ben turned back to see her starting to walk in the direction of the base again. He was tired of following behind her, so he quickened his pace slightly until he caught up to her. “Now you ask me something,” Rey said once he was walking beside her.

 

“What? I don’t have anything to ask you,” Ben replied.

 

“I don’t think you understand the concept of this game,” Rey said with a laugh, “quit being so serious. There must be a million things you don’t know about me.”

 

Ben searched his mind for something, anything he could ask her. The last time he’d had a casual getting-to-know-you conversation with anyone was when he was a kid. “Uh… what do you like to do? In your free time?”

 

 _What do you like to do? That’s the absolute worst question,_ Ben internally chastised himself.

 

Rey didn’t seem to mind, though she laughed lightly. “Well, I draw sometimes. Not very well. And I like making maps, as you saw. Makes me feel… useful.” She paused for a moment. “What do you like to do?”

 

Once again, Ben truly had to think. _What did he even do with his free time? Did he have any?_ He thought of the ARC-170, and realized that he did actually have one hobby. “I like to fix things. Sometimes.”

 

Rey looked intrigued. “What kind of things?”

 

“Ships, mostly.” He felt almost embarrassed to say it, as she was likely much more skilled at repairing vessels than he was, especially considering she’d been doing it her whole life.

 

“You’re serious?” Rey beamed.

 

Ben shrugged. “I mean, it’s not as if I have a lot of opportunities to practice repairing things, so I’m not very good at it. But I like it.”

 

“Did you build that TIE fighter?” She asked, and at first Ben was confused as to what she was talking about.

 

“What, the Silencer? No. I did a repair on it once, but it was built by Sienar-Jaemus or whatever. Mass-produced.”

 

“Huh. It was still nice, though,” she said, “I’m sorry it got destroyed.”

 

For the first time, Ben felt a pang of loss when thinking about his Silencer. It was yet another reminder that he truly had nothing left.

 

~

 

Rey could see that talking about his ship made Ben grow eerily quiet, so she decided to change the subject. “So, how long do you think it’ll take me to learn how to form a lightsaber?”

 

Ben chuckled, which took Rey aback slightly. She still wasn’t used to him laughing. “Building a weapon is the kind of practice that takes Jedi years of meditation,” he said, which disappointed her slightly; that wasn’t the answer she was looking for.

 

“But,” Ben continued, “considering you’re, well, _you_ …” It was just an offhanded comment, yet Rey couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride at his compliment.

 

“…Do you think I’ll be able to do it by the time the First Order returns?”

 

“Well, it’s impossible to know when they will return.”

 

Once again, the silence grew between them. Rey analyzed Ben’s expression as they walked. He faced forward, watching where he was going as he walked beside her. His mouth was a thin solemn line. This was one of the many things that Rey couldn’t stand about Ben Solo; he was endlessly emotional, but he buried it beneath the surface. She knew that even just mentioning the First Order caused him despair, but he kept it within him, leaving only a stoic expression on the surface. She liked him much more when he was honest about he felt, but those times were rare.

 

Eventually they reached the edge of the patch of trees, and they were standing in front of the ravine that Ben had mentioned. Just as he had said, it wasn’t too deep, and once she saw it, Rey remembered crossing it the first time. When they had crossed it in the other direction, Rey had been careful when descending into the ravine and climbing up the other side, but now that she was familiar with the sandy terrain, she didn’t bother moving with caution. She ran up to the edge and slid down the tiny slope, managing to stay on her feet. She looked back up the side of the ravine to see Ben standing at the edge. She could have sworn he looked slightly impressed. He hesitated there for a moment.

 

“Are you coming?” she called, somewhat teasingly. Even from her spot at the bottom of the ravine, she could see his irritated expression.

 

Ben slid down the side of the ravine in the same method she did, also managing to keep himself balanced. He reached the bottom of the slope and brushed some of the sand off of his shirt.

 

Rey didn’t want to talk about the First Order or Jedi or anything anymore. She enjoyed talking about mindless things, like favourite colours, much more. She decided to continue the game she had initiated. “How many scripts can you read?” She started to make her way up the slope of the other side of the ravine.

 

Ben followed her. At first he seemed confused at her question, but then he understood. “Four. Maybe five, on a good day. I can’t speak anything besides Basic, though.”

 

Rey was immediately envious. She imagined how many stories she’d be able to read if she knew that many scripts. “Wow. I can only read Aurebesh. I wish I could read more scripts, but I never had the opportunity to learn. I can speak a few other languages, though.”

 

“Really? How many?”

 

Rey thought back to Jakku, and how many travelers of different species passed through. “Um, probably around eleven. Oh, and binary, but that’s barely a real language.” She reached the top of the slope first, and held out a hand to help Ben up, but he ignored it.

 

“Eleven?” He looked at her in shock.

 

“I mean, I lived in a trading post,” she said, brushing it off. “But why do you know how to read so many languages? I can’t exactly picture you as a bookworm.”

 

“I had to learn many scripts in order to sign off on orders and laws. That’s also why I took up calligraphy.” As he mentioned giving commands in the First Order, Rey watched his expression become stony yet again. How did the conversation always come back to something political? It was like it was unavoidable.

 

Luckily, the base came into view. It was at the bottom of the small hill they were currently standing on. Rey started to walk in the direction of the base, but she stopped when she realized that Ben wasn’t following her. She turned to see him facing the direction of the setting sun, watching it in what was almost awe. The sun was almost entirely gone, and the landscape was cast in twilight. Rey wanted to remind him to hurry up, as it was getting dark, but she didn’t dare interrupt him.

 

After a moment he turned to see Rey watching him, and he blinked in slight embarrassment. “Sorry.” He seemed like he had something else to say, but he stopped himself, and instead simply walked to catch up to Rey. They made their way towards the base in another comfortable silence.

 

Eventually they reached the window of Rey’s quarters. Rey’s heart was in her throat. What if they had come looking for her? What if they had unlocked the door? She carefully peered in through the empty hole where the glass used to be. Luckily, it was empty, and the door was still closed. She breathed a sigh of relief, and hopped over the windowsill. Ben followed.

 

Rey tossed the rucksack onto her bunk, and Ben walked over to his, hesitantly sitting down. Rey walked over to the door, and pressed the button to open it, but was taken aback when she was met with Finn’s concerned face.

 

“Where have you been?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Fanworks Day!! <3


	19. Chapter Nineteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that it's taken me so long to update! I've been really busy recently, but now I'm on March break, so I'll be able to write more frequently. Thank you, and I hope you enjoy!

Rey stumbled over her words. “Wh-what do you mean?”

 

Finn scowled. “Don’t play dumb. I came to check on you about an hour ago. The door was locked, and you weren’t answering, so I stole a passcard to break in and make sure you weren’t dead. And I find that the freakin’ window is missing!” He gestured emphatically towards the hole in the wall where the glass had once been.

 

“I’ll fix that,” Rey said quietly.

 

“I don’t care about the window. What happened? Where were you?” His voice softened slightly.

 

Rey turned back to look at Ben for a moment. “We were trying to fix my lightsaber.” It wasn’t _completely_ a lie. She knew that if she told Finn the truth- that she went outside just to sit in the grass and meditate- he wouldn’t exactly be impressed.

 

“And that involved going outside?”

 

“Listen, if it exploded in here it would kill everyone. I didn’t want to endanger anyone.” Rey was getting farther and farther away from the truth, but she knew that she couldn’t back out of her lie now.

 

Finn seemed to buy it. “Just- let me know next time, okay? I worry about you.”

 

“You didn’t tell anyone that I was missing, right?” Rey asked cautiously.

 

“Of course not. The base would have been chaos in a matter of minutes, especially if people heard that what’s-his-face was on the loose.” He nodded in the direction of Ben, who was sitting on the bunk, staring at the floor yet still listening to their conversation. He looked up at Finn for a moment, his gaze icy. Rey hadn’t seen Ben look like that in a long time. “Come on,” Finn said to Rey finally, “it’s time to eat.”

 

Rey looked at Ben, then back at Finn. “Can he come?”

 

“I assume he needs food to survive, right?” Finn chuckled, “Unless he’s a droid or something.”

 

Ben shot Finn another glare.

 

“Are you sure Leia won’t have a problem with it?” Rey asked.

 

“Are you still thinking about what happened today in the strategy room?” Finn replied, “Don’t even worry about it. She’s got bigger problems than her estranged son.”

 

Rey wanted to ask what Finn meant by ‘bigger problems’, but before she could, he left the room, leaving Ben and Rey alone again, and leaving Rey to decide what they were going to do.

 

Rey pressed the button to close to the door, and wandered over to Ben’s bunk, sitting down beside him. “Are you hungry?” She asked Ben finally.

 

He let out a small sigh, staring at the floor. “Not really. I mean, at least not for what they’re offering here. I had that shit every day in the infirmary.”

 

Rey chuckled. “They only gave you rations in the med bay. What, do you think that’s all we eat?”

 

Ben frowned slightly. “I wouldn’t be surprised.”

 

Rey ignored Ben’s attitude. “Listen. Whether or not Leia or anyone else will have a problem with it doesn’t matter; you need real food. We walked for hours today. You must be starving, and even if you’re not, I am, and I can’t leave you here alone. So we have to go.”

 

Ben looked up at her, his eyes narrowing slightly. “It seems like I don’t really have a choice.”

 

“That’s the spirit,” Rey joked. She stood up, and walked in the direction of the door before pausing. “…C’mon.”

 

~

 

Ben sighed, but he knew he couldn’t say no to her, so he stood up and followed her out of the room. Just as they had that morning, they made their way through the endless maze of tunnels, and somehow arrived at the commissary. It was a large room, and it appeared even larger due to the windows at one end, that overlooked the valley. Ben suddenly had a nagging worry that someone could have seen him and Rey while they were outside, but he dismissed it. Beside the windows were many long tables where Rebels sat and ate. At the opposite end of the room were two doors to what was presumably the kitchen. Rey led Ben in the direction of the doors.

 

As Ben walked through the room, he could feel everyone’s eyes on him, and he tried to focus on where he was going instead. Just like what had happened in the strategy room, a hush fell over the crowd of people in the commissary for a few moments, after which the whispering started. Ben scanned the room and was relieved to find that he couldn’t see his mother anywhere. After what seemed like forever, the two reached the servery. Ben followed Rey up to the counter, where a droid was serving up spoonfuls of an unidentifiable meal. Rey grabbed a plate and happily accepted the slop. Ben was hesitant, but he knew that Rey would throw a fit if he didn’t at least take some of the food. He held out a plate to the droid and received the food. Upon closer inspection, it looks like some sort of ground-up meat with beans in it. It seemed just as fresh as stale crackers he had been offered when he was in the medical bay, but he kept his discontent to himself, and followed Rey out of the servery and back into the seating area. The room was filling up quickly, as pilots and workers flooded in and took their seats. Rey looked around for a moment, before she seemed to notice her rebel companions sitting at one of the long tables by the window. Ben had to stop himself from immediately disregarding them as traitors and thieves. He tried to make himself think differently; after all, if Rey liked these people, how bad could they possibly be? Then again, he knew that Rey saw the best in everyone, including himself. If she didn’t have such warped standards for making friends, she likely wouldn’t associate with Ben at all.

 

The Rebels were speaking jovially amongst themselves when Rey and Ben approached.

 

“Hey Rose,” Rey greeted as she sat down. Ben hesitantly sat down beside her. He felt strange, like a child.

 

“Hi Rey,” the dark-haired girl responded quietly, who Ben assumed was named Rose. The rest of the group had fallen silent, and Ben knew why. His heart grew slightly heavy. He couldn’t give a Rathtar’s ass whether or not this group of miscreants liked him; he just hated to think that he was ruining Rey’s friendships. More than anything, he hated to be a burden.

 

The rebel pilot, Dameron, seemed to sense the tension and was the only one willing to speak up and lessen it. “What are they even putting in this now?” He poked at the slop on his plate with a fork. “I sincerely hope these are beans.”

 

“I mean, it’s not really fair to judge their cooking,” Rey defended, “the only things they’ve got to cook with have been stored in vacuum packs for ten years.”

 

“Yeah, well, the least they could do is add a little garnish,” the ex-stormtrooper, Finn, joked.

 

“Finn, you’ll never believe what happened today,” the pilot said.

 

“What?”

 

“Okay, well, I was trying to fix that old freighter’s hyperspeed, the one at Dock 2? And I was prying open the…”

 

Ben tuned out their conversation and instead focused on pushing his food around on his plate. He _was_ hungry, but now he was worried that he would get some sort of disease from the mystery meat in front of him. He wished he was somewhere else, somewhere he could be with Rey alone. With every moment, he wanted to speak to her more, to understand her. He’d realized through the conversations they’d had earlier, that there was so much he still didn’t know about her. He would spend the rest of his life learning about her if he could.

 

“Ben Solo?” Ben looked up to see a medical officer standing beside the table. _Ayessa._ “We need to do a checkup. Routine stuff,” she said.

 

Ben felt instant relief at having an excuse to leave the table. He stood. Rey looked up from her conversation with the Rebels, her expression questioning, but she saw Ayessa and seemed to understand. Rey gave Ben a small comforting smile before returning to the conversation.

 

Ayessa led Ben through the commissary, and they were a few steps away from the exit when Ben heard a blaster shot.

 

~

 

At the noise, Rey spun around to see that one of the pilots had attempted to take a shot at Ben. The pilot lunged towards Ben, aiming once again. Without hesitation, Ben’s hand shot forward and he used the Force to slam the offending pilot against the ground, knocking the blaster out of his grip. He held him there for a moment, his body shuddering with panicked breath.

 

The people in the commissary began to react, standing up and leaping towards Ben and the pilot. Rey knew that they now had good reason to hurt him, and she jumped up from her seat, attempting to beat the crowd to Ben.

 

“Ben!” she shouted.

 

He looked up, seemingly breaking out of a trance, and released the pilot who was gasping on the floor. Rey reached him before the rest of the Rebels did, and stood in front of him.

 

“How long are you going to protect him?” One of the Rebels shouted, fighting to get through the crowd. “He’s a danger! He’s a ticking time-bomb!”

 

“He was the one who was attacked!” Rey defended. “Someone just tried to kill him! He diffused the situation, nothing more.”

 

“Diffused the situation?” Another girl spat, “he nearly killed him!”

 

Rey didn’t know how to respond. The Rebels weren’t wrong. For the first time in several days, Rey began to doubt her allegiance to Ben. She had seen a fury in his eyes just then; a rage that she feared more than anything. She dismissed her thoughts, and focused on pushing Ben out of the angry mob, but their protests seemed to surround her.

 

“Enough!” A voice cried, causing the crowd to fall silent, and it parted so that Rey could see Leia, standing at the edge of the scene, walking towards the riot. “I will not tolerate this behavior. Some of you may disagree with my decision to allow this man safety within our base, and in all honesty, there are times when I doubt it myself. But that was my decision, and I refuse to let your individual desires and opinions override it.” She reached the center of the crowd, so that she was only about a foot away from Rey. “Who fired the shot?” Leia asked.

 

The crowd parted once more to reveal the offender who was still laying on the ground: a man who Rey recognized to be Jakinto Kahn, one of the lead pilots.

 

“Officer Kahn,” Leia announced, “you have made an attempt on the life of a man I swore to protect. My son.”

 

“General, you’re telling me you truly trust him? The _Jedi Killer_?” Kahn countered, his tone incredulous. He attempted to sit up but Leia pressed her foot firmly onto his chest, pushing him back to the ground.

 

“Whether or not I trust him is irrelevant. Your actions are extremely out of line. I regret that we will have to imprison you until further notice.” Leia signaled to the guards that she wanted him taken away, and they complied. She then looked at the crowd around her, making a shooing motion with her hands. “Clear this area. I’ll not have any more riots.”

 

 “And _you_ ,” Leia turned around to face Ben. “I understand that you must defend yourself, but please. Don’t use the Force to do it. It scares the hell out of everyone. They know what you can do.”

 

Ben looked absolutely bewildered.

 

“Are you hurt?” Leia asked, her voice slightly softer.

 

He blinked for a moment before answering. “No.”

 

The General nodded affirmatively, giving Ben one last look before turning around and starting to walk in the direction of the exit.

 

“Wait,” Ben said, causing Rey to look up in surprise. Leia turned around, a similar expression of disbelief on her face.

 

“Allow Rey to go to the strategy meetings. She doesn’t deserve to be burdened by me. And you need her help.” Ben paused. “You can lock me in my quarters, if need be. Or in the medical bay. Or in prison.”

 

Rey was stunned. She knew that the last thing that Ben ever wanted to do was reach out to his mother, but he was putting himself in an uncomfortable situation, just for her. _Why?_

Leia was silent for a moment. “That won’t be necessary,” she answered finally. “Locking you up would be excessive, especially after I just went through all that spiel to convince them that I trust you. Perhaps we can assign you a job. I’m sure you’ve got some talents besides wielding excessive force.” She looked to Rey. “So, I suppose I’ll see you at the meeting tomorrow?”

 

Rey took a minute to process what was actually happening. She nodded, and tried not to seem overly excited. “Thank you so much,” she finally managed to say.

 

Leia wore a knowing smile. “Don’t thank _me._ ” With that, she turned and exited the room.

 

Rey looked to Ben in confusion. “Why did you do that for me?” She couldn’t help but ask.

 

“It’s what you wanted, isn’t it?” Ben looked down at her, wearing a faint smile that for some reason made Rey’s heart quiver. He changed the subject, “What job are they going to give me?”

 

Rey’s question hadn’t been answered in the slightest- in fact, now she was even more confused- but she dismissed it. “Well, you can fix things, can’t you?”

 

Ben shrugged. “I suppose.” He began to walk in the direction of the exit, and Rey, still slightly dazed, followed.

 

“I’m glad you’re okay,” Rey admitted as they walked. “I don’t know what I would do if someone attacked me like that. I’d be paranoid all the time. How do you sleep at night?”

 

“Well, you’re usually there, ready to jump in front of me at any given moment.” It was a taunt, but somehow Rey sensed Ben’s words held more weight than he had intended. Once again, he tried to brush it away. “I have to go to the medical bay.”

 

“I can come with you,” Rey offered.

 

“No, no,” he refused, “spend time with Dameron and that Stormtrooper. Take a break for once. I’ll be fine.”

 

“You’re sure?” Rey didn’t want to admit it, but she actually enjoyed spending time with Ben much more. To her it didn’t feel like a burden, as he so often implied that it was.

 

He nodded, before walking away.


	20. Chapter Twenty

Rey made her way down the corridor, to Poe and Finn’s shared quarters. As she walked, she remembered her conversation with Finn just a few short days ago, and wondered if either them had talked to each other about how they felt.

 

She arrived at the door and pressed the button to open it. “Oh my god,” she said under her breath as the door opened to reveal Poe and Finn on one of the bunks in a… compromising situation. Thankfully, fully clothed. _Well, that answers that question,_ she thought.

 

“Rey! We weren’t… we were just… talking. You didn’t…” Finn scrambled to his feet, “you didn’t think we were doing anything, did you?”

 

Rey couldn’t help but laugh at his flustered expression.

 

“Finn, she’s not dumb,” Poe said, wearing an amused smile. He seemed considerably more relaxed as he lounged on the bed.

 

“You’re not gonna tell anyone, are you?” Finn asked. “They might separate us if they find out.”

 

Rey laughed once again. “I’m not going to. And I doubt that you two sharing a room is the Resistance’s biggest concern, especially with these apparent ‘bigger problems’. That’s what I came to ask you about, actually. But… I can leave, if you want me to,” she suggested, gesturing towards the two of them.

 

“No, no. There’s no need. Come on in,” Poe said. He shifted over on the bunk so that Rey could sit down beside him, which she did. Finn hesitated, seemingly still wary about Rey’s presence, but he took a seat beside Poe anyway.

 

“So, what’s going on? What did I miss at the strategy meeting today?” Rey asked.

 

Poe’s expression grew solemn. “We’ve received news from an informant on Espirion that the First Order has uncovered an ancient weapon.”

 

“A weapon?”

 

“An explosive, essentially. A fail-safe, forged by the first Jedi during the Force Wars of Tython. That was before lightsabers were even a thing. People are calling it Syren.”

 

“…And what can Syren do?” She asked hesitantly.

 

“If activated it could destroy an entire planet. But that’s not why it’s dangerous. It has a chemical in it, a type of plague. It spreads like wildfire, eats away at people’s brains. Turns them into these mindless creatures.” Poe chuckled dryly, “well, at least, that’s what we think. It’s what we’ve gained through reading endless Jedi manuals and texts. But the information has been passed down through generations, through masters and apprentices and knights and all that. It could be wrong.”

 

Even so, Rey felt her heart speed up in fear. Just the possibility of such a disease reaching the people she loved terrified her. “Why aren’t we doing anything about this? Why doesn’t anyone seem afraid?”

 

“Because, from what we’ve come to understand, the First Order can’t use it. It can only be activated by the Grey Jedi, and I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but they don’t exactly have any of those handy. In fact, no one does. There aren’t even any Jedi left.”

 

“Grey Jedi?”

 

“You’ve never heard about that?” Poe asked. “Some people dismiss it as a myth, but apparently at some point they were real. I’m not the best at explaining all this Force stuff… but from what I know, they’re like a combination of Jedi and Sith ideas. Dark and light and whatever. Like the perfect balance,” he said, letting his words hang in the air for a moment before continuing, “but let me remind you, there’s no proof there were any Grey Jedi in the first place, let alone any kicking around now. So don’t worry. The First Order is just trying to intimidate us by digging this up. Nothing more. At least, that’s Leia’s theory.”

 

Rey thought for a moment. “You trust her a lot, don’t you? Leia, I mean.”

 

“Yeah, well. I think she’s the wisest person I’ve ever met.” Poe sighed. “She makes it difficult sometimes, to trust her. Especially when she orders everyone to protect the one person we swore to defeat. But she’s never been wrong before. If she trusts Kylo Ren, I do too.”

 

Finn piped up. “I certainly don’t.”

 

“Why?” Poe asked.

 

“Because. I watched him do things, give orders… I don’t know how a human could possibly demand the execution of an entire village. Innocent people.” Finn looked at the floor. Rey watched as Poe slid his hand into Finn’s, interlacing their fingers, seemingly to comfort him.

 

“Don’t you believe people can change?” Rey couldn’t help but ask.

 

“There are some things that you just can’t come back from. Slaughtering innocents is one of them, in my book. No heroic act can change that.”

 

“How do you feel about him, Rey?” Poe asked.

 

“Me?” Rey honestly didn’t know. “I mean, sometimes he’s responsible and kind and giving, and sometimes he’s closed-off and selfish and manipulative… I can’t dismiss anything he does as entirely good or entirely bad. I hate feeling confused like that.”

 

“If you hate it so much, then why spend so much time with him? Why bother protecting him?” Finn asked.

 

Rey shrugged. “He saved me, Finn. All of us. Surely you know that without his help the First Order would have destroyed us.”

 

“Maybe so, but it doesn’t mean I’ve got some sort of life debt to him now,” Finn chuckled, and then changed the subject slightly, “hey, what were you guys doing today? Fixing a lightsaber?”

 

Poe looked slightly worried. “You were doing _what_?”

 

“Calm down, we were just attempting to fit the pieces back together. We didn’t manage it, though. We went outside as a precaution. It was beautiful. I’ve never been on a temperate planet when I wasn’t running for my life before.”

 

A look came across Poe’s face. “You went for a walk? Outside?”

 

“Yes…?”

 

“You didn’t hold hands, did you?”

 

“What? No,” Rey said firmly.

 

“Did you watch the sun set, perchance?”

 

“Well, I mean,” Rey sputtered, “the sun just _happened_ to be setting.”

 

 “Man, you are way in over your head, aren’t you?” Poe burst out laughing. “I never took you for the type to fall for the _bad boy_.” He pushed her shoulder playfully.

 

Rey wrinkled her nose in disgust, but she couldn’t stop the blush that was rising on her cheeks. “No, no, absolutely not!”

 

“Rey, I don’t mean to encourage him,” Finn said, referring to Poe, “but you _are_ bright red right now.”

 

Poe laughed. “Don’t try and tell me that you don’t have at least a little crush on him. He has that scar on his face, after all.”

 

Finn shot Poe a look.

 

“What?” Poe defended, “It’s hot. Don’t even try to deny it.”

 

~

 

Ben sat on the edge of his bunk, awaiting Rey’s return. He had gone to the medical bay and received some medication for his pain, all the while being peppered with questions about his general health and symptoms from Ayessa. When he had returned, he hoped to find Rey already there, but he’d been disappointed by the empty room. He didn’t really have anything to do other than sit around and think, which he was notorious for doing too much of already.

 

He felt a rush of relief as the door opened to reveal Rey, about a half hour later. She walked in, sitting on her bunk and starting to take off her boots. “How was it?”

 

“Nothing happened, essentially,” Ben answered, “she just gave me some pain medication and asked me a million questions.”

 

“Pain medication?” Rey asked. “How powerful is it?”

 

“Why does that matter?”

 

“Well, you just… You don’t seem to be at the peak of emotional stability.”

 

 “I’m not a child. I don’t need everything to be confiscated.” His words were harsher than he intended them to be, but he didn’t attempt to correct himself.

 

“Well, excuse me for showing some concern.” Suddenly, Rey’s expression grew bashful. “I’m sorry, can you turn around or something? I need to change.”

 

“Oh.” He clumsily shielded his eyes with one hand. A few moments passed. He didn’t dare peek, even though he wanted to more than anything.

 

“Okay, you can look now.”

 

Ben uncovered his eyes to see Rey wearing a loose-fitting shirt and cargo pants. She efficiently folded her day clothes and tucked them away in a drawer under her bunk. “I’m going to sleep,” she said, “are you… gonna be okay?”

 

Ben assumed she was referring to the night before, when he had guilt-tripped her into sleeping next to him. He felt embarrassed just thinking about it. “I’ll be fine.”

 

Rey seemed to be satisfied with his answer and got into bed, flicking off the switch that controlled the lights on her side of the room and casting herself in darkness.

 

After Rey went to sleep, Ben didn’t really know what to do. He pulled the tan shirt he was wearing over his head, and tossed it on the floor beside him, turning off his own light. He lay in the dark for what seemed like forever, on his back, staring at the ceiling. He began to hear soft snores coming from Rey’s side of the room. He wondered what she was dreaming about.

 

It was after about an hour of tossing and turning that Ben began to feel a familiar hum. It danced across his fingertips and echoed in his ears. Something was calling him. It started out quietly, but grew louder and louder until he couldn’t stand it, and he had to investigate. He got out of bed, standing in the center of the room for a moment, attempting to detect where it was coming from. As he got closer to Rey, it seemed to get louder. He took a cautious step towards Rey’s bunk and energy danced across his fingertips. Surely it wasn’t coming from Rey. It felt like his hands were moving on their own, guided by some other force, as they reached down and silently opened the drawer beneath Rey’s bed. He pushed aside some of her clothes and there it was. His lightsaber.

 

He picked it up, feeling the familiar weight in his hands. The humming ceased, leaving the room in an eerie silence. He knelt there for a moment, running his fingers over the metal. He felt a deep desire to activate it, to feel its power, but he knew better than anyone not to activate a lightsaber next to a sleeping person.

 

He wondered what he was going to do with this information. Now that he knew where it was, he essentially had access to it any time. Would he use it? He wanted to, more than anything. It was his, and it belonged back in his possession. But he knew that taking it would be betraying Rey’s trust.

 

As difficult as it was, Ben put the lightsaber back in the drawer, silently closing it and retreating to his side of the room. He lay back down, staring at the ceiling again. Again, he was faced with a moral dilemma. He had sworn off dreamwalking just a few days prior, but with each day that passed, he wanted more and more to know what was going on inside Rey’s head, especially considering what she had dreamed about the night of the First Order’s attack. He justified it to himself by telling himself that he would only observe, nothing more.

 

Against his better judgement, Ben closed his eyes and reached out.

 

~

 

_Ben awoke laying in the grass on Dantooine, except it was unnaturally green. The sun approached the horizon, casting a perfect peachy glow on the land. He sat up and looked around, to find that Rey was sitting next to him. Usually when he entered her dreams she had an adverse reaction, most often surprise, but this time it seemed as if she was expecting him._

_“Ben,” she said softly. She was wearing the loveliest smile, which was immediately a warning sign to Ben. What had changed? He knew that she pretended to like him in real life, but she had no reason to do it within her own mind. Of course, he couldn’t help but think of the last dream he had walked through… but he had long since dismissed that as Rey’s curiosity and need for control, not genuine affection._

_“Are you all right?” Rey asked, worry clouding her features._

_Ben realized he had been quiet for too long. “Yes. Of course.” For the first time in a while, a gentle smile came across his face._

_Rey seemed reassured by his expression. She lay back in the grass, closing her eyes as the warm sunlight washed over her._

_Just like he did so often, he remarked internally how amazing she looked, but this time, he became aware that this may be his only opportunity to compliment her aloud. “You’re so beautiful,” he said. The words sounded strange. He’d never told anyone that before. But it was the truth._

_Even within the confines of someone else’s imagination, Ben was afraid of rejection, but he had no reason to be. Rey opened her eyes to look at him, beaming at his words._

_“Truly? No one’s ever told me that before,” she admitted._

_“Then everyone you’ve ever met must be blind,” he replied. It was dumb, but it made her giggle in a bashful sort of way, and his heart leapt._

_Suddenly, Rey sat up, and her face was so close to his, he was worried she heard his breathing hitch._

_“I’m sorry about your face,” she said._

_“What?” he asked, confused._

_“Your scar.” She brought a hand up to trace along the thin red line that reached from his eyebrow to his jawbone. “I’m sorry that I gave it to you.”_

_Ben leaned into her touch so that her hand cupped his cheek. “I deserved it.”_

_“Maybe,” she said quietly. Just then, the sun reached the horizon, sending bright orange patches of light over the hills, and Rey pressed her lips to his._

_At first he was absolutely taken aback. He was forced to discard all his previous notions about how he felt about her, and yet he couldn’t think about that right now, as he was kissing her and it felt amazing. One of her hands tugged at the front of his shirt, pulling him closer as she kissed him softly. She was so gentle and yet still seemed sure of herself; that was what he loved about her, and it was present even in the way that she kissed him._

_Eventually she pulled away, taking a moment to look him in the eyes, a small smile dancing across her face. Ben wanted to stay there, watching her smile forever._


	21. Chapter Twenty-one

Rey awoke, her eyelids fluttering open as the room slowly came into view. How many of these dreams was she going to have?

 

The warm sunlight and a soft cool breeze washed over the room through the gaping hole in the wall. Sitting up and looking at the window, she realized that neither her nor Ben had fixed it last night before going to sleep. Still half-asleep and dazed from her dream, she stood, slightly wobbly.

 

“Ben?” she said in his general direction.

 

She had thought he was still asleep, but he sat up quickly in bed, almost panicked. “Yes?”

 

“…Are you okay?” She couldn’t help but ask. “Sorry, I thought you were asleep still.”

 

“Oh, it’s fine. I’m fine.” He shook his head, as if to clear his thoughts.

 

Rey wondered why he was acting so strangely. Surely she was the one who was supposed to be acting strange, considering what she’d just imagined. She watched as he rubbed his face tiredly, swung his legs over the side of the bed, and pulled on a shirt. It was after a few moments of watching him get dressed that she realized she was being a bit creepy, and turned the other way. _God, what would he think if he knew what I was feeling towards him?_ Rey thought. She was no longer going to pretend like she didn’t have feelings for him; after all, she’d dreamt of his touch on multiple occasions, and now she was watching him shirtless like a weirdo.

 

She decided that she really needed to clear her head, so she decided to take a shower. She gathered some of her clothes from the drawer under her bunk, and was about to leave when Ben stopped her.

 

“Where are you going?” he asked, sounding a bit like a lost child.

 

Rey turned to face him. “To the ‘fresher,” she explained. Even just looking at his face in the morning light made her realize how complicated her feelings for him really were. She put on a smile to reassure him that everything was okay. He didn’t return it, like usual, but he seemed satisfied, and with that, Rey left.

 

As she stepped into the shower and fiddled with the controls to change the temperature, she tried to come to some sort of conclusion about her feelings for Ben. If she knew one thing, it was that it was more than just a crush. Sure, he was good-looking… in fact, he was much more than good-looking, but Rey was sure that her emotions toward him extended far beyond just what he looked like. She remembered how she had felt when she’d heard that blaster shot, how her heart was in her throat; was that what love felt like? Like being willing to give everything to save someone else?

 

Rey’s internal conversation reminded her how little she truly knew about love. She’d never been in love, hell, she’d never even been attracted to someone the way she was to Ben. Everything was so strange, so new. She desperately needed someone to talk to about all of this, but she feared judgement more than anything. The only person who she could possibly discuss it with was Poe, and sure, he joked all the time about how in love she was with Ben, but she didn’t know how Poe would react if he found out all of it was true. Would he look at her the same way?

 

She turned off the water. She’d intended to make sense of all of it, but she’d only managed to make herself more confused. She quickly dried herself off and changed into her day attire, efficiently tying part of her hair back so that it was out of her face. With that, she returned the room, mentally preparing herself to face Ben.

 

Unfortunately, it was all for naught, as when she arrived at their shared quarters, he was already gone. His bunk was made, and there was no sign that he had ever been there, other than a note that she found on her pillow, written in his elegant handwriting:

 

‘Rey-

I’ve been assigned a job, and an officer came to collect me.

I’ll see you in the afternoon.

-Ben’

 

Rey had to admit that she was slightly disappointed that the note wasn’t more heartfelt, but the fact that he had thought to leave a note at all made her feel all warm inside. She gave one last long look at the name penned gracefully at the bottom. Poe was right. She _was_ way in over her head.

 

Rey tucked the note into her pocket and left the room, heading for the strategy room. She knew that the meeting would be starting any minute now, and the last thing she wanted was to be late, considering she had just been given the privilege of attending. She walked in the room just in time, as officers were milling in and standing around the large table in the center. She caught sight of Finn, Poe, and Rose standing at the edge of the room, and made her way through the group of people to get to them.

 

“Hey, look who it is!” Poe greeted. “Good to see you here. Where’s your boyfriend?”

 

Rey did her best not to blush at that statement. “He’s not my boyfriend. And he’s got a job now, apparently.”

 

Finn raised his eyebrows slightly in surprise. “Wow.”

 

“What?” Rey asked.

 

“Well, it’s just kind of funny,” Finn chuckled, “like, has the guy ever done manual labour a day in his life?”

 

“I mean, he was a soldier,” Rey said.

 

“Yeah, but I can bet he’s never cleaned a toilet.”

 

Rey was about to defend Ben somehow, but at that moment, Commander Reo walked into the room, and a hush fell over the crowd. Rey was glad to see her instead of Leia; she had nothing against Leia, but she was worried that Leia would have some sort of bias against her plans. Meanwhile, Reo seemed to love Rey and all of her contributions.

 

“Good morning everyone,” Reo greeted the crowd, “we’ve got a lot to discuss today, so I’d really like to get started. First of all, I’d like to clear something up. Yesterday in our meeting concerning Syren, the possibility that the explosive is a chemical weapon was brought up, and somehow many came under the impression that the weapon has the potential to create zombies. Obviously this is nothing more than a rumor. The weapon is a manually activated explosive. Nothing more.”

 

Rey looked at Poe accusingly. “I can’t believe you told me that!” she whispered.

 

“What? I thought it was true,” Poe defended with a sheepish smile.

 

“Dumbass,” Finn muttered, pushing Poe’s shoulder playfully.

 

“Continuing on down the agenda…” Reo looked down at a clipboard as she spoke. “Our troops have taken inventory. In the case that the First Order attacked today, we’d have sufficient supplies to survive, but that’s not good enough. If we don’t have a solid plan of defense, we’re finished. The other side has the advantage, as they know exactly where we are and could return at any moment; however, we have an advantage in the sense that we have all this time to prepare. The last time that they tried to take us over, we showed them what we’re made of.”

 

At the mention of the last battle a few people whooped and hollered jovially.

 

“ _But_ ,” the commander continued, “that doesn’t mean we can let our guard down. I need ideas, now. How might we guarantee our success upon the First Order’s return?”

 

A few people put up their hands to contribute. Reo pointed to someone near the front, “yes, Officer Seema.”

 

“Have we discussed the possibility of using the underground tunnel system?” The woman suggested. “It’s a resource that could be used for either protection or infiltration. The tunnels run from the center of the base all the way to the other side of the planet.”

 

“In the case of a land attack, that would be useful, but we need a plan for what’s going to happen in the sky. Just heading out there and blowing stuff up doesn’t seem to be working.”

 

Rey put up her hand, hoping that the commander would still be able to see her in the back.

 

“Yes, Rey,” Commander Reo said.

 

“Have you considered using freighters to attack as well? They’re not the most nimble by any means, but the First Order’s ships are gigantic; the pilots need all the help they can get.”

 

The commander shook her head. “You’re not wrong, but freighters have such a large surface area, they’d never survive. They’re not meant for dodging blasts. You might be able to maneuver a freighter through a field of TIE fighters, but you’re also a fantastically skilled pilot. Pilots with less experience would not have the same success.”

 

“Yes, but- hear me out,” Rey said, “what if we _wanted_ the First Order to concentrate fire on our freighters? They have much more effective shields than the tiny X-wings. If we set them up in a kind of wall formation, they could protect the X-wings until they got close enough to the First Order’s ships to have a clear shot.”

 

“I admire your creativity, but is it worth our resources? We would need to manually amplify all of the freighter’s shields in order to achieve this… wall, because there would be no point to it if it didn’t last.” Commander Reo thought for a moment. “All right, the pilots would be more knowledgeable than I am about the durability of freighters. I’m going to call a vote. All in favor, raise your hands.”

 

Many hands reluctantly went up, including Poe and Finn. Rey was surprised that so many people agreed with her. She’d never truly led anyone before. The commander quickly counted to get a rough estimate.

 

“Okay, all opposed?”

 

Significantly less hands went up.

 

“Okay, it’s settled then,” the commander said, surprise lingering in her voice. “It may be a strange plan, but it’s the only plan we’ve got, and we have to go all in. Who here has experience repairing or building vessels? All of you will be working as fast as you can to boost the shields on every ship we’ve got. The rest of you, you’ll be aiding the effort to plan the formation here in the strategy room.” It was silent for a moment. “…well? You all know what you need to do. Go on,” she said with a chuckle.

 

As if everyone finally clued in, the room began to empty out. Pilots went to their ships, while technicians gathered around the strategy table, drawing possible diagrams for the wall formation.

 

“We’ll see you later, Rey,” Poe said, walking in the direction of his ship, with Finn in tow. Rey figured that they would be inseparable from now on.

 

At first, she didn’t quite know what to do with herself. She didn’t really have a ship to call her own, so she supposed she would just have to find some random freighter. The Ghtroc 690 came to mind, and feeling a rush of excitement at being able to work on it, she sped in the direction of the ship.

 

Rey was sure that no one was going to lay claim to the freighter, which is why she was surprised when she approached it and saw someone laying underneath the ship on a mechanic’s crawler, repairing the underside. As she came closer, she seemed to recognize the muscular yet terribly pale figure.

 

“Ben?” She asked in disbelief.

 

Rey watched as he jumped up in surprise, hitting his head on the underbelly of the ship.

 

“Ow. Shit.”

 

She felt the injury as well; a sharp pain in her forehead. That was Ben, all right. He rolled out from under the ship, sitting up on the board. “Sorry,” he said. She was taken aback at his appearance. He was wearing the bottom half of an orange pilot’s jumpsuit, with the upper half tied around his waist, revealing a white undershirt, marked with black grease spots, as were his face and hands. Rey had to admit it to herself: he was _very_ attractive, especially as he wiped his hands with a cloth, his muscles moving beneath his shirt.

 

Rey internally slapped herself out of her trance. “Did they make you a pilot?” She finally managed to ask.

 

“What?” Ben looked down at the pilot’s uniform he was wearing. “Oh. No, they just told me to wear this while working. Better protection. It’s terribly hot though.”

 

“I’ll bet,” Rey said, which came out as much more suggestive than she intended. She attempted to move on from the subject. “I’m surprised that they trust you with the ships, and they don’t have you cleaning toilets or something.”

 

Ben let out a quick sigh. “Well, it was Leia who assigned me the job. She knows what I can do.”

 

“So you’ve talked to her?”

 

“Only for a few moments.”

 

Rey didn’t want to press any more. “I should… go. I have to fix a ship, or something.” She turned to leave when Ben stopped her.

 

“Do you want to… go outside again today? We can meditate again,” he suggested.

 

Rey couldn’t help but smile. “Okay.”


	22. Chapter Twenty-two

“Anyway, I ended up working on the Falcon for the rest of the day. I don’t know I feel about using it in a potential barricade, but it’s what has to be done, I suppose.”

 

Ben followed Rey up the hill as he listened to her talk about what she’d done all day. They’d left the base via their usual exit, the window, but this time Rey had told Finn to cover for them if anyone asked where they were going, so the outing felt a bit safer.

 

“So, how was your day?” Rey asked finally.

 

Ben thought about his answer carefully. He’d felt lucky to receive a job that he had the potential to actually enjoy, but all day he couldn’t stop replaying the kiss, over and over in his mind. He hadn’t been able to focus, especially with worry in the pit of his stomach over how she truly felt about him, and what might happen between them next. Though the day had felt long, he’d been reassured by the promise that at the end of it, he’d be able to see Rey, and now here he was. But he couldn’t tell her any of that. “Fine,” he answered simply.

 

“Just ‘fine’? Not good?” Rey asked. They began to make their way through a small patch of trees.

 

“It was good, I guess,” Ben admitted.

 

“I wish you would open up to me more,” she said gently. “I trust you, remember?”

 

“You shouldn’t,” Ben admitted, regretting it as soon as he did. Not only had the kiss been on his mind all day, but so was the fact that he’d broken his vow not to invade Rey’s mind anymore. Now he was paranoid that she somehow knew what he’d been doing.

 

“Why not?” Rey’s eyes were clouded with concern.

 

“I don’t exactly have the best track record,” he joked, hoping it would make her drop the subject.

 

“I’m talking about a different kind of trust. Not the kind where you just know that you can depend on someone, because if I’m honest, you’re the least dependable person I know,” Rey confessed as they reached the spot where they’d sat the day before. “I mean the kind of trust where you feel like you understand someone. Like you would accept them, and they would accept you.”

 

Rey sat in the grass, and Ben cautiously sat down beside her.

 

“Do you… feel like you understand me?” Ben asked.

 

Rey shrugged. “I think so.” She looked out over the valley, taking in the sunshine. “Wow,” she said with a chuckle, “this is like a dream I had.”

 

Ben’s heart leapt. “Me too.”

 

“What?”

 

He summoned his courage. “I have to tell you something. You’re going to hate me for it.” Though he knew that the admission of this information would likely cause Rey to never want to speak to him again, he just had to tell her. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he kept the truth from the only person he loved.

 

“I don’t think I’m going to hate you,” Rey said, though her tone was wary.

 

Ben took a deep breath. “While I was at the Jedi temple, Skywalker taught me something. A skill. Only to be used when necessary.”

 

Again, Rey seemed cautious when she spoke. “What kind of skill?”

 

“An invasive kind of skill. A skill that I have abused.” He paused for a moment. “Different people call it different things, but Skywalker called it dreamwalking: the ability to visit someone’s subconscious while they sleep, and to become part of their dreams.”

 

Rey wasn’t dumb; Ben knew that. He watched as the realization started to dawn on her.

 

“I’m sorry, Rey,” he said, his voice faltering slightly.

 

She looked away. “That was… you? In my dreams? Is that what you’re implying?” Ben could hear the betrayal in her voice.

 

“I-” He had no idea what to say. “…Yes.”

 

Rey’s eyes finally met his. Her expression was powerful in a way that Ben couldn’t describe. She stared at him for a moment that seemed to last a million years, and then hastily stood up, walking away in the direction of the base.

 

“Wait. Rey.” Ben stood up, following behind her.

 

“Why?” Rey said suddenly, stopping in her tracks, and whipping around to face him. “What would motivate you to do that? Why would you use the dreams to… were you trying to trick me into thinking I liked you?”

 

Her words stung, but Ben ignored it. “When I first started doing it, you hated me, and I hated you. It was for strategical advantage; I thought maybe I could gain information about the Rebels through your subconscious.”

 

“You’ve been doing it since _then_?”

 

“But then everything changed,” Ben insisted, ignoring her again. “Everything changed and I realized your subconscious was the only place where I could be the person I wanted to be around you.”

 

“Why was that the only place you could…” Rey’s eyes flickered to Ben’s mouth for only a split second, but Ben noticed nonetheless.

 

“Because I thought that you didn’t really feel that way about me. That it was just a fantasy. A… dream.” He’d never been this honest in his life.

 

“Maybe you were wrong.” There was a sadness in Rey’s voice that Ben couldn’t decipher. Her words gave him hope, but the way she said them discouraged him.

 

Rey turned around and resumed walking towards the base.

 

“Wait.” Ben stopped her again, this time by grabbing her shoulder. She didn’t protest, she simply stared up at him, her green eyes full of hurt.

 

“I know that I’ve… ruined everything. Just let me kiss you. Please.” He tried his best not to let his voice break.

 

“Why? So you can win me back?” Her tone was biting.

 

“No. I’ve just got to know what it’s like, what it’s really like. Just once. And then you can never speak to me again.”

 

Ben was expecting her to pull away- he knew it was a lot to ask from someone he just betrayed- but to his surprise, she didn’t refuse. Her icy gaze softened, if just for a moment, and hesitantly, Ben reached out to brush a strand of hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear. His heart raced. He knew this would be his only chance to kiss her, ever. Knowing that he couldn’t hesitate any longer, he went in for it, pressing his lips to hers.

 

~

 

At first, Rey did nothing. The last thing she wanted to do was encourage him, to make him believe that what he had done was okay. She tried not to react or make any moves in return, as difficult as it was.

 

“Please,” Ben mumbled into the kiss. Rey couldn’t help herself; she dove in and kissed him back. Finally, they were moving in sync. As Ben’s hands gently cupped her face, Rey’s hands found their way into his dark hair. She felt him shiver as one of her hands brushed the nape of his neck. His reaction motivated her to deepen the kiss, reaching farther within him. The kisses they had shared within her dreams had been gentle and somehow distant, but now Rey was kissing Ben with a passionate intensity she didn’t know she was capable of. Her mind practically went blank, giving in to just feeling everything.

 

The moment seemed to last forever, and at the same time, it seemed to go by in the blink of an eye. Before Rey knew it, they had broken apart, and she had to focus on staying upright, as her knees felt weak. She watched as Ben searched her expression.

 

“Please,” he said again, gently this time, but all the more desperate. “I’m sorry. I know I’ll never win back your trust. But please don’t leave me alone. Don’t shut me out.”

 

“What happened to ‘then you can never speak to me again’?” Rey asked.

 

“You kissed me back, that’s what. Look, I say a lot of things I don’t mean. I do a lot of things I don’t mean.” He gathered up her hands in his, holding them tightly as he spoke. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes, and you’re the only person who’s ever forgiven me. Please forgive me, just one more time.”

 

Rey felt significantly dazed. She reminded herself that just a few short weeks ago, this same man was trying to kill her. To be fair, she was also trying to kill him. And now here he was, doing what Rey could only describe as professing his love. But as wary as she was about the situation, she couldn’t lie to herself: she wanted so badly to be with him.

 

“If we… if we do this,” she said hesitantly, looking at his hands holding hers, “then no one can know. Not Poe, not Finn, not even a droid. Because if anyone found out, they’d accuse me of betraying the Resistance, and… my place in the Resistance is all I have.”

 

She finally met his gaze and watched as his face lit up with pure joy. He dropped her hands and wrapped his arms around her waist instead, burying his face into her neck and making her giggle. He pulled away for a moment. “Can I kiss you again?”

 

“You don’t have to ask every time,” Rey said, amused, and leaned in, her lips meeting his. She could feel him smile into the kiss.

 

Eventually, they made their way back to the base, abandoning the idea of meditating (which Rey suspected was just an excuse on Ben’s part to talk to Rey alone). They walked in a comfortable silence. This time, when they crossed the ravine, Ben offered his hand to Rey to help her up, and she didn’t let go even when she reached level ground. She interlaced her fingers with his, watching as her action caused a smile to creep onto Ben’s face.

 

That fleeting smile, however, disappeared as they reached the open window of Rey’s quarters. Rey wished more than anything that it could have stayed.

 

“This is where it ends, right?” Ben asked.

 

“What?”

 

“Us, acting like… this.” He glanced down at their hands intertwined.

 

Rey sighed. “At least for a little while. I’m sorry.” She approached the ledge of the window, which still hadn’t been fixed.

 

“Here, allow me.” Ben scooped up Rey, setting her down in a sitting position on the ledge, facing him.

 

“You didn’t… need to do that,” Rey said, a laugh escaping her. She could feel her cheeks grow red at being held like that.

 

Ben rested his hands on the ledge on either side of her, moving closer so that his nose just barely brushed hers. Rey felt a rush, like an electric surge through her body. She wondered if she would ever get used to being this close to him. His lips brushed hers, sending more sparks through her veins. He knew that he was toying with her, as proven by the mischievous smile that danced across his face. Eventually he gave up with his teasing, his lips crashing against hers like an ocean wave. His pattern of movement was becoming more familiar to Rey, and she rocked against his body, dictated by the passion of the kiss. Rey moved her hands up the collar of his shirt, letting her fingers tug at the material.

 

“Oh my god,” Poe’s voice rang out from within Rey’s quarters, causing her to whip around in surprise. “Well, I guess it’s only fair, considering you caught me in the act,” Poe laughed.

 

“Poe, you can’t tell anyone,” Rey pleaded, “the whole base already suspects me of being some sort of traitor. What will they think if they find out I’m-”

 

“Fraternizing with the enemy?” Poe said slyly. “Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me, as long as mine is safe with you. I came to tell you that dinner is being served now, but… I can understand if you’re gonna be a little late.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this is a bit of a shorter chapter, but I feel like too much happened for me to add anything else! Let me know what you think :)


	23. Chapter Twenty-three

Ben found himself at the dinner table with all of the Rebels once again. He hardly knew how he got there; he’d been feeling like he was walking through a dream ever since he confessed to Rey. Nothing seemed real.

 

He’d been tuning out their conversation, but for a moment he stopped to listen to what they were talking about, while he poked at some mysterious stew in a bowl in front of him. He’d been trying to pay better attention to their names.

 

“Rey, I love you,” Finn said, “but your plan, with the barricade? It’s nuts.”

 

“Well, I mean, it’s not as if we’ve got a million fantastically powerful x-wings just laying around. There’s such a limited supply of good, nimble fighters, so why would we just send them out in the open unprotected? And besides, this place has practically been a star port for the past few years. There are shielded freighters everywhere. It’s not crazy, it’s just using what we have.” Rey seemed pleased with her defense.

 

“Yeah, Finn, Rey’s plan is pretty solid,” Poe added.

 

Finn laughed. “You only think her plan is ‘solid’ because it involves you blowing something up.”

 

“That’s just…” Poe fought back a laugh, “a coincidence.”

 

“Hey, Rose, what job did they give you? Did they put you back behind the pipes?” Rey asked.

 

“Yeah, they did. But that’s not a terrible thing. It’s what I’m good at.” Rose smiled.

 

“Rose, what do you do all day, actually?” Finn asked.

 

“I work on the central heating and cooling, atmosphere regulation, all that. Pretty boring stuff.”

 

“I think that’s a really underrated job, actually. I mean, pilots get all the recognition, but without people keeping the ships from literally bursting into flames, we wouldn’t be able to get anywhere at all,” Poe said, which made Rose smile.

 

“You know what I’ve been thinking about?” Finn said after a few moments of silence. “Why do the Stormtrooper helmets filter out smoke and not toxins? That just seems like such a waste. Like, why bother building a respirator into a helmet if it’s not entirely operational?”

 

“Actually, it’s because the Empire and the Rebellion originally agreed to never use chemical warfare, even though they had the resources,” Ben answered, causing the rest of the table to fall silent in disbelief, but he ignored it and continued, “The first sets of Stormtrooper armor were built with the intention that the soldiers wearing them would never encounter toxins. Of course, only a few hundred years into the agreement, the Rebellion broke that promise. The design of the Stormtroopers was just never changed.” He looked down at his stew as he finished, poking at his food.

 

The group still seemed stunned that Ben had said anything at all.

 

“That’s actually… really cool,” Poe said finally.

 

“Yeah,” Rose agreed.

 

Finn looked like he was going to say something, but he was interrupted by a cooking droid walking around the commissary, distributing a brightly coloured purple fruit.

 

“Aw, nice!” Poe said, getting up and grabbing a few for the table. “I don’t think we’ve ever had fresh fruit here before.” He gave one to each person, tossing one to Ben last, flashing him a smile.

 

“What is this?” Rey was examining the fruit in absolute wonder.

 

“Have you never had Jogan fruit before?” Ben asked incredulously.

 

Rey shrugged. “I’ve never had _any_ fruit before.”

 

“You’re gonna love it, Rey,” Poe said through a mouthful of the purple fruit. He wiped some of the orange juice off his chin.

 

The fact that it contained some sort of orange substance seemed to make Rey even more hesitant.

 

“Here,” Ben said, taking the fruit from her hands and carefully breaking it in two, handing her one of the halves. “You just bite it. It’s good, I promise.”

 

She cautiously took a bite and chewed a piece, and after a moment her face broke into the most adorable smile that Ben had ever seen. “This is amazing,” she gushed, taking another bite, and causing the whole table to laugh a little at her reaction.

 

~

 

Eventually Rey and Ben returned to their quarters, and he could feel the tension in the air. He’d had so many questions as to what would happen when they were alone again. If he was being honest with himself, he didn’t know what exactly he was supposed to do, what she would deem within her boundaries, what would be respectful. Ben wanted to do a lot of things that he knew for a fact were not respectful, but he controlled himself, and kept his distance. He had everything right now; there was no way he was going to risk losing it all.

 

“That was close today, wasn’t it?” Rey said finally, sitting down on her bunk. Ben mirrored her and sat down on his side of the room.

 

“Yeah, I guess.” Ben felt slightly dejected. He’d thought that even though they’d been caught by Poe, that kiss was the best thing he’d ever felt.

 

“I mean, imagine if it was anyone else who’d walked in,” Rey continued. “We can’t risk it at all. Not… anything. Not in here.” She gestured to the room. “Anyone can get a passcard and just walk in. Finn proved that the other day.”

 

Ben thought for a moment. He had examined the lock the other day and had figured out the mechanisms. He could manually override the digital passcode if he could just…

 

He raised his hand and used the Force to turn some of the mechanisms within the door.

 

“Ben!” Rey interrupted his plan. “Don’t you dare. You haven’t even put the window back yet!” She scolded him, though she wore a tiny smile.

 

Sheepishly, Ben turned the mechanisms back and withdrew his hand.

 

“Well?” Rey looked pointedly towards the pane of glass that was resting on the floor.

 

“What? You want me to fix it _now_?”

 

“ _Ben_ ,” Rey chided.

 

“Why don’t _you_ do it?” Ben was honestly quite curious as to Rey’s strength. He hadn’t seen her use the Force at all; not since Snoke’s throne room.

 

Rey scowled, and Ben expected her to refuse, but she brought her hand in the direction of the glass and efficiently lifted it back into place. Ever since Ben had first seen her use the Force, he had marveled at how much control she had, even though she was so inexperienced.

 

Rey looked at the repaired window with an air of satisfaction, before looking back at Ben. Her smile slowly disappeared, as she seemed to be deep in thought. Ben watched as her eyes flickered over his face, as if she was examining him. He couldn’t help but hold his breath. “I’m sorry,” she said finally.

 

Ben stayed silent, confused as to what she meant.

 

“I’m sorry that we can’t be together in the way that I know you hoped, how we have to keep it secret and everything.” She continued, looking down at her hands in her lap. “I see you… watch me all the time. No one’s ever looked at me like that.”

 

“Like what?”

 

“Like an animal. Like you want to pounce on me or something.” Rey laughed lightly, perhaps to relieve the tension, though Ben noticed the slight flush in her cheeks.

 

She was right. As hard as he tried, Ben knew that his possessive side occasionally got the best of him. Even just the thought of it reminded him how much he wanted her. He realized that she had just finished making it clear that they can’t do that, at least not in here, but he still wanted to kiss her so badly.

 

Unfortunately for him, Rey gave him one last long look before climbing into her bunk, and turning off the light for her side of the room.

 

Ben tried not to let out an audible sigh. Rey just had a way of making him hold his breath.

 

He pulled off his shirt and tossed it onto the floor next to his bed, switching off his light. He then turned so that he was facing the wall, and stared into the darkness. Never in his life had he experienced so much in one day. Though he was feeling a bit conflicted at the moment, he thought back to what he had said to Rey that day, and how he had kissed her, _really_ kissed her. For the first time in a very long time, he felt like he had done something good.

 

Ben was worried about his nightmares, but he knew that the last thing he could possibly do was walk in Rey’s dreams, especially now that she would know it was him. Although he was afraid of what terrors the night would bring, he felt a strange sense of calm wash over him as he remembered Rey, and how she looked perfectly serene when she slept. It made him forget what nightmares were waiting for him, at least for a little while.

 

Suddenly, as he was drifting off to sleep, a hand touched his shoulder, and his heart nearly stopped.

 

“Ben?” The voice whispered. _Rey_.

 

Ben felt relief wash over him. He turned over to see Rey standing next to his bed.

 

“Can I sleep next to you?” Rey asked quietly.

 

Ben wondered if she was testing him. “I thought you said we couldn’t risk anything like that,” he said cautiously.

 

“If anyone finds out, we’ll just say it’s really cold in here or something,” Rey said, her tone gentle yet apathetic. She climbed into bed behind Ben, pulling the covers over herself.

 

Ben decided he was likely already dreaming as Rey wrapped her left arm around his bare torso, pulling herself close. One of her legs intertwined with his, and he could feel her breath on the nape of his neck. He wondered how he would ever fall asleep while so close to her. He took his left arm and placed it overtop of hers, so that he could hold her hand. Her hands, and all of her in general, was so delicate. He hoped that she didn’t mind the many scars and callouses that littered his body, making his skin significantly less smooth and gentle than hers was. He was suddenly self-conscious about the large scars all over his torso, but he completely forgot about it as she placed a few gentle kisses at the base of his neck. The action sent a chill down his spine, and caused him to shiver slightly.

 

Rey laughed softly. “Sorry, did you not like that?”

 

“No, no, I loved it,” Ben assured her, his voice slightly rough. “Please do it again.”

 

Rey pressed her lips to the nape of his neck again, this time with a sense of urgency, working her way up to his ear and then back down again. She left love bites along his spine, making his nerves practically hum. He could barely think as she tugged at his skin with her mouth; his surroundings seemed to fade out, leaving only the lingering reminder of how lucky he was.

 

Eventually she stopped, running her free hand over the areas that she had kissed, rubbing her fingers in tiny circles, making his skin tingle. “Sorry, you're a bit bruised,” she whispered finally, letting out a gentle laugh, “I didn’t realize it would be so noticeable.”

 

“You don’t have to apologize,” Ben assured her. He brought her hand that was interlaced with his up to his mouth, kissing it gently. He felt her breathing slow as she fell asleep, and eventually he did too.


	24. Chapter Twenty-Four

Sunlight seeped in through the now-fixed window. Though Rey had fallen asleep behind Ben, she awoke wrapped in his arms, curled up against his chest. She knew they’d likely been that way for hours already, yet she couldn’t help but blush slightly at their position. For a moment she stayed very still, feeling his chest rise and fall. The thought that she should likely wake him occurred to her, but that was the last thing she wanted to do. When observing him, she felt like she did when she was with him in the medical bay; as if this was the only time he was truly serene and undisturbed. As much as she didn’t want to disturb him, she knew that she had to, because there was a chance that eventually someone would come to their room to wake them.

 

“Ben,” she whispered, placing a hand gently on the side of his face.

 

“What?” he replied quietly, as if he was annoyed.

 

“We have to get up. What if someone comes in?”

 

Rather than letting go like she thought he would, instead he wrapped his arms around her tighter. “No,” he mumbled.

 

Rey giggled at his reaction. “Ben, I’m serious! We have to get up.” In an attempt to convince him, she brought his face to her own, and kissed him softly. He made a small satisfied hum into the kiss, bringing his hand up to her face and cradling her head as he kissed back. It felt slightly different then when she had kissed him before, Rey noticed. His kisses were more playful, more joyful. He pulled away, and rolled her onto her back, positioning himself so that he was overtop of her. For a moment, he just stared at her, an awestruck smile on his face. Rey watched as the morning sun danced over his features.

 

“You look so lovely today,” Ben said quietly, his eyes still moving over the details of her face, as if taking everything in. He finally stopped, and instead lay his head on Rey’s chest, burying his face in the crook of her neck. The position allowed Rey to notice the quite visible love bites on Ben’s back.

 

“Holy…” Rey pushed Ben off of her, coming to a sitting position. “Sit up, so I can see.”

 

Ben seemed annoyed but obliged, sitting up and turning his body so that Rey could examine the back of his neck. She pushed his dark hair aside and inspected the bruises. “Wow,” she couldn’t help but say. “I’ve never done _that_ before.”

 

“Really? Never?” Ben asked, turning to look at her.

 

Rey simply shook her head.

 

Ben wore an expression of disbelief, which quickly turned into a smile. “How are you so good at it then?”

 

Warmth rushed to Rey’s cheeks for what seemed like the millionth time. “…Truly?”

 

Ben didn’t answer; instead he looked as if he’d realized something. “Can you turn around?” He asked.

 

Rey turned away from him, just as he had done for her. She felt him push her hair aside and run one of his hands over the back of her neck. “You have them too,” he said finally.

 

“What?” She was genuinely confused.

 

“The Force connection. Remember? It records every injury. Even if that injury… felt nice.”

 

Rey got out of the bed, walking over to the small mirror in the corner of the room. She pushed her hair and turned so she could see the back of her neck. Sure enough, her skin was littered with tiny bruises, exactly like Ben’s; the only difference was that hers were slightly tinted blue.

 

“Do you think anyone’s going to notice?” Rey asked, worry seeping into her voice.

 

“No, no.” Ben seemed to sense her panic. He got out of bed, and walked over to Rey, where he stood in front of her and ran his hands through her hair. “Your hair’s long enough. And it’s not really noticeable.” He gave her a genuine smile, bringing her face closer to his so that he could kiss her, but Rey placed her hands on either side of his face, stopping him. A mischievous smile worked its way onto her face.

 

“What are you…” Ben trailed off, his expression genuinely confused, but he seemed to have a moment of realization and broke into a playful smile. “You’re trying to tease me,” he said, almost in disbelief.

 

Rey shrugged, letting out a giggle.

 

Their lips were only a few inches apart, and once again Ben tried to close the gap, but at the last moment Rey turned around, pretending to walk away as if nothing had happened.

 

“You little…” Ben murmured, and Rey could hear the smile in his voice. She had to bite her lip to keep from laughing.

 

Ben came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and burying his face in her neck, peppering her with kisses. The laughter she was holding back bubbled out of her. “This is really sweet, but,” she said in between giggles, “you have to get dressed! Someone’s gonna come looking for us soon, and they’re gonna find you like…” Rey turned around, gesturing at his bare chest, “…this.”

 

He let out a sigh, but he did as she asked and turned around, putting on a shirt.

 

Rey took the opportunity now that Ben was looking away to dress herself. She changed her shirt to something she knew was practical for working on the ships, as she suspected she’d be repairing shields today. She also wrapped her arms in her usual bandages.

 

“I have to go,” Ben said, causing Rey to turn around. “They’ll be expecting me in the hangar.” She watched as his gaze lingered on her features, looking almost desperate. She wondered what he could possibly be thinking, but before she could say anything else, he left, leaving Rey alone.

 

Rey knew that she should probably get going soon as well. She looked at herself one last time in the mirror, running her fingers through her hair and placing it carefully on her shoulders to cover up the blue marks. Though the possibility of someone pointing them out made her worried, she felt an odd sense of pride at having them. She dwelled on the thought for a moment, before leaving the room so she could get to work.

 

~

“Hey, if it isn’t my favourite mechanic,” Poe greeted Ben as he walked into the launch bay, where all of the ships sat in various states of repair.

 

Ben was still getting used to someone actually being friendly towards him. He wasn’t sure exactly how to reply, so he just managed a smile.

 

“Did you sleep well?” Poe asked, a familiar sly smile on his face.

 

Ben wondered if he was insinuating something. “I slept fine,” he said, trying not to reveal anything through his tone. He knew that Poe was aware of what he and Rey were doing, but Ben didn’t know how he felt about talking about it with Poe. He knew he it was dumb, but he was worried Poe would somehow judge him. “How was your night?” He asked in return, hoping to get the conversation off of himself. He was working on the ship right next to Poe’s, so it’s not as if he would be able to avoid him.

 

Poe’s smile widened. “Oh. You know.”

 

“Know what?” Ben knew he was definitely insinuating something this time, but he had no idea what he was referring to.

 

The pilot seemed confused. “Rey didn’t let it slip to you? That’s surprising, considering that you’re…” He raised his eyebrows.

 

Ben had to move the conversation off of himself again. “Let what slip?”

 

Poe grew hesitant. “I don’t know if I should tell you about it. I’m sorry to make assumptions, but you don’t seem like the most tolerant individual. No offense,” he added hurriedly.

 

“None taken, that’s fair of you,” Ben replied, monotone.

 

Poe thought for a moment, after which he sighed. “What the hell. I might as well tell you, because if I don’t, then someone else will. We try to keep it under wraps, but we’re pretty bad at it.” He stepped closer to Ben so that he could speak quietly. “Finn and I are… you know.” He raised his eyebrows.

 

“What? Oh.” Ben was embarrassed that he hadn’t picked up on it before. Looking back on what he had seen of the interactions between Poe and Finn, he felt ridiculous for not realizing that they were a couple. “Why were you afraid to tell me that?”

 

Poe blinked dumbly. “You’re not at all… disturbed?”

 

“Disturbed?” Ben asked incredulously. “What, because you’re both guys? I was born on Chandrila. I don’t care about that.” Ben mentioned his birth place because it was well-known throughout the galaxy that Chandrila was particularly tolerant of same-sex relations.

 

Poe laughed. “Thank the maker. Lots of the pilots here are from Chandrila, actually. Maybe that’s why I’m so…” He didn’t finish that sentence. Instead, he walked over to some of the ship parts that he was fiddling with before, sitting down to work.

 

Ben picked up a resistor that he was working on, and sat beside Poe, who seemed pleased that Ben was starting to trust him. Ben wasn’t usually one for gossip, but he found that he did actually enjoy talking to Poe. “So, Finn, huh?”

 

“Oh, yeah,” Poe replied, “Isn’t he fantastic? I mean, he hasn’t exactly warmed up to you yet. But he’ll get there.”

 

“I wouldn’t trust me, if I were him. He probably thinks that I approved of the Stormtrooper program, that I was the one who implemented it so heavily. Even if he doesn’t, I know that he doesn’t trust me because of Rey.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“He watched me… terrorize her, essentially. I chased her through a forest, kidnapped her, chased her through another forest…” Ben chuckled. “After all that, I wonder why _she_ tolerates me, actually.”

 

Poe laughed as well. “Yeah, well. Finn’s really protective of Rey. For the longest time I thought he was in love with her. He’s not, of course, but I know that he feels closer with her than anyone in the world. Even me.”

 

There was a moment of silence. Ben was attempting to remove a component from the resistor, but he became frustrated and gave up, just holding it in his hands instead. “Do you think you’re in love with him?” He asked.

 

The pilot seemed slightly surprised at the question, but he answered it anyway. “I think so, yeah.”

 

Ben was quiet for another moment. “How do you know?”

 

A gentle smile came across Poe’s face. “You just do, I guess. If when you go to sleep at night thinking about someone, and you wake up in the morning, and you’re still thinking about them, that’s when you know that you have feelings for someone. But if you’re in a horribly dangerous situation, like you almost just blew up or something, and you’re still thinking about that person, that’s when you know you’re in love.” He paused. “I don’t know if that makes any sense. Essentially what I’m trying to say is, if you always want to protect someone else before you ever even think about protecting yourself, then you love them.”

 

Ben thought that was the most apt description of his own feelings that he had ever heard. “No, that makes sense,” he assured Poe. He looked down at the resistor in his hands, the one that was causing him so much grief.

 

“I think I have to do some actual work now,” Poe said with a laugh, standing and walking over to the X-wing he was working on.

 

“It was nice talking to you,” Ben said.

 

Poe smiled. “Yeah. It was nice talking to you too.”

 

~

 

Rey hated working on the Millennium Falcon.

 

Well, that wasn’t entirely true. She loved working on it; she loved all of its parts and its inner workings. She regretted ever calling it ‘garbage’. But there was something strange about fixing the ship. It felt like she was trespassing, somehow. Every time she stepped on board, all she could think about was Han Solo, and how the ship was his pride and joy. Changing anything about the ship felt invasive, as if she was walking into someone else’s home, rearranging their belongings.

 

After a while of working, though, she got used to it, and she was able to explore the inner workings of the ship in an attempt to boost the shields. Unfortunately, most of the parts that had been used to make the shields were produced by companies that had long since died out, and there were aspects that were only compatible with parts that hadn’t been made for years, but Rey had a lot of experience with finding parts from old pieces of junk. She needed a piece for the deflector shield projector, so she decided to explore some of the older useless ships that were kept in the farthest corner of the hangar. She was just approaching an old system patrol craft that she figured she could steal parts from when all of a sudden she felt a burning sensation on her right forearm. The sensation scared her, causing her to drop to her knees. It wasn’t unbearable, but still painful. She unwrapped the protective bandages from her arm as quickly as she could, and was horrified to find bright blue scars spreading across her arm.

 

Rey scrambled to her feet, running in the direction of the Ghtroc 690. “Ben!”

 

She eventually reached the ship where she knew he was working and found him sitting next to the ship, clutching his arm. He was cursing under his breath.

 

“Are you okay?” Rey asked him hurriedly, kneeling down in front of him.

 

He gave her a smile that looked more like a grimace. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just burnt myself on the cannon.” He cautiously removed the hand that was protecting his burnt arm to reveal the red and almost black marks on his skin.

 

Rey was horrified. “You shot yourself with a _laser cannon_?”

 

“No! No. I was just adjusting it. It got a little hot, that’s all. And I was distracted.” Ben seemed to notice her arm for the first time. “Oh, god, are you okay?” He forgot all about his own injury and instead took Rey’s arm in his hands, inspecting the scars. “It hurt, didn’t it?”

 

“Yes, but, it doesn’t matter now,” Rey assured him. She was telling the truth; as soon as she realized that Ben was in danger, she had forgotten all about her own agony. “You have to put some solution on that or something. Some sort of cream to relieve the pain.”

 

“I’m fine- really.” He thought for a moment, inspecting her injury closer.

 

Rey's expression softened, and she removed her arm from Ben’s grasp. She took off the protective bandage that was still on her left arm, and took Ben’s hand in her own, wrapping the bandage around his injury instead.

 

“Are you sure you don’t need that?” Ben asked.

 

“Not as much as you need it. Besides, it would look dumb to just be wearing one anyway. I have no idea where I dropped my other one.” She tied off the bandage, and felt almost proud at her neat work. She finally met his gaze. “Now, be more careful, all right? For my sake, at least.”

 

Ben managed a smile.

 

Rey stood, giving him one last look before turning to leave, when she suddenly remembered something. “Ben?” She asked, turning around.

 

“Yes?”

 

“You never finished the story. The romance, remember?”

 

Ben wore an amused expression.

 

“Tonight, can you read it to me?”

 

The amused expression turned into a full-blown grin. “Okay.”

 

Rey had thought Ben was going to be annoyed with the idea, but he seemed absolutely eager. Satisfied, she turned back in the direction of the Falcon, so that she could get back to work. She retraced the path she had taken to get to Ben’s ship, and found her abandoned arm bandage on the floor, which she picked up and promptly tied around her waist, as she had no idea what else she would do with it. She wasn’t watching where she was going well enough, and almost ran directly into Finn.

 

“Rey! How’s it going?” Finn asked.

 

“Oh! Hi. Sorry, you surprised me,” Rey chuckled, “it’s going all right, I suppose.”

 

“Holy, Rey, how did you get _that_?” Rey followed Finn’s gaze to the mass of blue scars on her forearm.

 

She figured that by this time, Poe had told Finn everything about Rey and Ben’s odd Force connection. “Oh, you know. Ben wasn’t careful enough. Got a little burned.”

 

Finn seemed horrified, which Rey didn’t quite understand, considering he was the last person to show genuine concern for Ben, especially over something like a burn.

 

“Don’t worry, he’s fine,” Rey assured him, hoping to relieve his obvious concern, but Finn only seemed more confused.

 

“Hey, Rey, can you come help me with this?” A voice called. Rey turned to see Commander Reo attempting to lift a large box.

 

“See you,” Rey said quickly to Finn, before jogging over to the Commander, ready to help.


	25. Chapter Twenty-five

A few hours later, Ben had finally finished working on the Ghtroc 690 for the day. He wiped the grease from his hands with a spare towel, and dusted off his clothes, careful not to bump his injured arm against anything.

 

He couldn’t help but feel excited to see Rey. It was a familiar sensation; every time he knew that he would get to see her, he would feel an odd tension in his stomach. If he didn’t know better, he’d think he was sick or something. He made his way out of the hangar and down the hall that led to their shared quarters. Previously, he would have got himself lost without Rey to lead him, but he had memorized the way back so that he didn’t have to follow her all the time. He pressed the button to open the door and was immediately slammed up against the wall.

 

Finn was gripping the collar of Ben’s shirt. “You’ve got some explaining to do,” he spat.

 

It took all of Ben’s willpower not to immediately Force-choke him. Instead, he just let Finn hold him against the wall. He knew that if he did anything to Finn, it would only escalate the situation. “What do I need to explain?” He asked, his voice slightly strained from Finn’s pressure on his throat.

 

“Why Rey has a giant burn on her arm. She told me you did it.” Finn’s tone was sour.

 

“That’s because-”

 

“I was already suspicious of you,” Finn cut Ben off. “But this is the last straw. I don’t care if she likes you. I don’t know what you two are doing, but if you think that I’m gonna let you hurt her, you’ve got something else coming.”

 

It was becoming difficult to breathe, let alone talk, so Ben couldn’t explain himself. Enough was enough, and he was about to push Finn off, when he heard coughing in the distance.

 

“Rey, are you okay?” Someone shouted from within the hangar.

 

Finn looked alarmed.

 

“ _You’re_ hurting her,” Ben managed to say.

 

Finn blinked in disbelief, and released Ben, letting him fall to his knees. Ben rubbed his throat with one of his hands.

 

“What the hell is going on?” Finn asked.

 

“The connection. Didn’t Rey tell you about it? Dameron? Anyone?” Ben asked tiredly.

 

“What connection?”

 

“The Force.” Ben stood, so he could look Finn in the eyes. “All you need to know is that any time one of us is hurt, the other is too. So that little stunt you just pulled? Kind of counter-productive.” The anger was seeping into his voice.

 

“You’re lying.”

 

Ben pulled the bandage off his arm, the one that Rey had wrapped so neatly. He watched the recognition in Finn’s face as he saw how the bright red burn matched Rey’s exactly. Ben let Finn look at the injury for a few moments longer before he couldn’t take it anymore, and he used the Force to slam Finn against the wall this time.

 

“Listen,” Ben said through gritted teeth. “Normally I wouldn’t care what you try to do to me. I wouldn’t care if you sneak into my quarters, or plan some kind of sneak attack, or _threaten me_ , but unfortunately whatever you do to me, you do to her.”

 

Finn squirmed against the Force that held him, unable to hide the fear in his eyes.

 

 

“We’re on the same team here.” He dropped Finn, letting him fall to the floor, and watched as he scrambled to his feet. “We both want what’s best for her. So as much as you don’t like the idea, you’re going to have to trust me.”

 

“You sure don’t make it easy,” Finn said, though his voice shook slightly.

 

“Are you all right?” A voice asked from the doorway.

 

Both Finn and Ben spun around to find Rey, looking concerned. “Ben, I couldn’t breathe a few minutes ago. Was that you? Is everything okay?” She looked to Ben, then to Finn. “…What’s going on?”

 

“Nothing. I started coughing. Finn heard me and came to check on me,” Ben lied.

 

She narrowed her eyes. “That’s awfully thoughtful of him,” she said, a hint of suspicion in her tone. “I have to get back to work. I’ll see you in a while.” She walked away, leaving Ben and Finn alone together again.

 

“Do you really think she believed that?” Finn asked as soon as Rey was out of earshot.

 

Ben shrugged, rewrapping his arm in the bandage. “Why wouldn’t she?”

 

“Women always figure out the truth. Always,” Finn said.

 

Ben looked up. Those words seemed familiar, but he didn’t mention it. “Well, even if she does think something happened, I’ll just tell her that I picked a fight with you. She’d believe that. Anyone would.”

 

Finn seemed as if he had something else to say, but instead he wore an expression that Ben couldn’t decipher. He gave Ben one last look before leaving the room.

 

~

 

Several hours later, Rey was finally able to relax as she sat next to Ben on his bunk and listened to him read. All day, she’d been concerned about Finn and Ben. She had no idea what she had walked in on, but she suspected that there had been some sort of fight. All through dinner, she could sense how tense it was between them. She’d been meaning to ask Ben what happened once they returned to the room, but she hadn’t got the chance, because as soon as they were alone in the room Ben had sat down with the book, and Rey had sat down beside him, figuring that she’d bring it up later.

 

“…Nova stood at the altar, the red fabric of her dress floating on the summer air. Alacor took one of her hands in his own as they listened to the droid recite the Terms of Bonding. ‘In all the galaxy, there is no greater force than true love. Love sustains, nourishes, and protects. Without love, the galaxy would be cold and empty. Your bond lends fire to the stars, dissolving the darkness.’” Ben stopped reading, and Rey looked up from the hem of her shirt, which she was fiddling with.

 

“Is that the end?” Rey asked.

 

“No, just…” He wore a small smile. “This is kind of corny. I guess I just don’t understand the point of weddings.”

 

“The point? I mean, it says it right there. True love, and all that.”

 

“Yeah, but why do you need a droid to tell you if it’s really true love or not?”

 

Rey thought about that. He was right, in a way. She’d never been to a wedding before; in fact, when the man in the story, Alacor, proposed, Ben had to explain to her what a proposal even was. But there had to be something special about weddings, otherwise people wouldn’t write fairytales about them. “It would just be nice, I suppose. And your family and friends would be there. And then everyone would know how much you loved each other.”

 

Ben wore a thoughtful expression. “Is that what you would want? If you… were in love? For everyone to know?”

 

Rey was aware of Ben’s word choice. She wondered if he was saying what he truly wanted to say. “Yes, I think so. I don’t know that much about love, though. Even if I was… _in_ love, I would probably have no idea.” She let out a small sigh. “So I’m the last person you should ask about that sort of thing.”

 

A moment passed.

 

“I don’t think I would want anyone to know,” Ben said quietly. “Love is a… private thing, a sacred place you can visit in your mind. I don’t think it’s for anyone else’s consumption.”

 

Rey chose her words carefully. “Do you… visit me, in your mind?”

 

Ben met her eyes for a second, and then looked down at his lap. “Of course.”

 

The simple words caused Rey’s heart to leap. “Truly?”

 

He looked to her again, but this time he didn’t look away. She watched him study her features, as he often did. “I have never lied to you.”

 

Rey lay down in his lap, causing a smile to break his stoic expression. He ran his left hand through her soft brown hair.

 

“Would you ever lie to me?” He asked quietly.

 

Rey shook her head. “Never.”

 

He thought for a moment. “Then tell me the truth. In your mind… do _you_ ever visit _me_?”

 

She couldn’t help but blush slightly at the question. “Always,” she admitted.

 

Ben let out a gentle laugh, all concern in his face disappearing. He leaned over Rey so that he could wrap her in his arms, and kissed her, gently and quickly. It was the kind of chaste kiss that married couples often shared, Rey observed. People who were experienced at kissing one another. The idea made her ask herself: would she ever want to marry Ben? Would she ever feel familiar enough, comfortable enough, _in love_ enough?

 

She asked, but her heart already knew the answer. _Yes. Of course._

 

She supposed that it was Ben who was the problem. As much as she liked to think that she understood him, she constantly wondered what he was thinking and feeling. She had no idea if he was anywhere close to feeling what she was feeling. After all, he practically just stated that he thought weddings were absolutely useless.

 

“What are you thinking about?” Ben said softly, after a moment.

 

Rey smiled. “Nothing,” she assured him. She would put her thoughts of marriage aside; far, far aside. She was sure that she wouldn’t have to consider that for a while. After realizing she’d been quiet for far too long, she decided to change the subject. “How’s your arm?”

 

Ben sat up, as did Rey. He carefully unraveled the bandage that protected his arm so that Rey could inspect it. She took his arm carefully in her hands, looking over the bright red marks. “I mean; it was terrible for me… I can’t imagine how much it hurt you.”

 

Ben’s face dropped into one of concern. “I’m sorry, truly. I should have been much more careful.”

 

“Oh, no, I don’t mean to make you feel guilty! It was much worse for you, I’m sure.”

 

Ben didn’t answer; instead he took her arm, the one that had the matching injury on it. He examined it for a moment, before placing a gentle kiss on the blue marks. Rey knew she was blushing bright red. He kept his face close to her skin, looking up for a moment as if to gauge her reaction. Upon seeing the dumbfounded smile on Rey’s face, he kissed her again, once, twice, three times, working his way up her arm. Eventually he reached her collarbone, and hesitated. Rey knew he was teasing her, playing into the tension. She was also very aware of how absolutely dependent she’d become in the span of only a few seconds; she felt as if she would die if he waited even just a moment longer to kiss her again. She was tired of his teasing, and cupped his face in her hands, her lips meeting his, aching with desire. At first he seemed taken aback by her sudden move, but it didn’t take long for him to reciprocate, parting her lips with his, taking control of the kiss. The gentleness and restraint that he had displayed before was almost entirely gone, as his tongue delved within her mouth, giving her satisfaction that rolled over her in waves. His broke the kiss for a moment, and leaned back, a smirk twitching onto his lips. He flicked his wrist, using the Force to push Rey onto her back.

 

“Ben!” She scolded through a laugh.

 

Ben ignored her, his smirk growing into an expression of deep wanting. His body hovered over hers, his dark eyes practically relishing in her appearance, making her almost self-conscious.

 

“What are you doing?” Rey asked quietly.

 

“Repaying you,” he answered, his voice slightly husky.

 

The desire in his tone almost gave her chills. Her voice was even quieter than before. “For what?”

 

As if to answer her question, suddenly Ben’s lips were on her neck, claiming the sensitive skin there. Rey had managed to restrain herself until now, but when Ben’s teeth grazed against her neck, a moan escaped her. Just when she thought her senses couldn’t take any more, she felt his hands working their way up her body, immersing her deeper in bliss. One hand found its way to collarbone, while the other was planted on her abdomen, massaging her gently as he continued tugging at her neck with his mouth.

 

Eventually he retreated, giving her one last kiss before sitting up, expecting her to sit up as well, but instead she stayed where she was, a euphoric smile plastered to her face. She internally remarked that Ben’s attention was the best gift she’d ever been given.

 

“Was that okay?” Ben said finally, obviously concerned.

 

Rey let out a laugh. “Okay?” She sat up, so that she could look him in the eyes. “That was more than okay.” She pulled him closer so that she could rest against his chest, and he wrapped her up in his arms.

 

“Okay. Good. Sorry, I’m… new at this. I just… want you to feel good,” he admitted

 

Rey mumbled into his chest, “well, you’ve done a great job so far.”


	26. Chapter Twenty-Six

Ben woke up the next morning beside Rey, but it wasn’t due to soft daylight peeking in through the window; it was because it was sweltering hot in the room. He sat up, glancing down for a moment at his bare chest, which glistened with sweat. Was he just imagining it, or was it actually boiling in the room? He wondered for a moment if he was ill. Maybe he was just crazy. He decided he needed Rey’s opinion.

 

Rey was fast asleep beside him, her arms wrapped around a pillow. She looked so peaceful; he hated that he had to disturb her, but he did anyway.

 

“Rey.” He touched her shoulder gently.

 

“Mm?” Rey responded, though she didn’t open her eyes.

 

“Is it really hot in here?”

 

“What?” She sat up, letting out a yawn, and looking around tiredly for a few moments, before furrowing her brow in thought. “Yeah, actually. It’s not too bad though.”

 

“Not too bad?” Ben asked incredulously. “It feels like the building is on fire.”

 

Rey chuckled, laying back down. “Don’t be so dramatic. It’s just a bit warm.”

 

Ben scoffed. “I don’t know why I’m asking for your opinion; you grew up in a desert. You’d think lava was ‘just a bit warm’.”

 

“Why don’t you go see if something’s wrong then?” Rey said, rolling onto her stomach. Though her voice was muffled slightly by the pillow, Ben could still hear the smile in her voice as she teased him, “…maybe you can go put the fire out.”

 

Ben pulled the slightly sweaty sheets off of himself, gathering his shirt from where he had tossed it on the floor. He hated to put on clothes when it was so sweltering hot, but he didn’t exactly want to walk around the base half-naked.

 

“Wait, you’re actually going?” Rey asked, just as Ben was about to walk out the door.

 

He wore a smug smile. “Who else is going to put the fire out?”

 

Rey rolled her eyes, though she smiled too.

 

With that, Ben left, making his way down the hallway. He couldn’t help but notice many people walking from one place to another, looking generally in a state of distress. The launch bay was a hub of activity. He wondered if there really _was_ a fire.

 

Eventually he found someone he recognized: Rose. He felt a sense of relief at seeing a familiar face in the midst of all the chaos. Sweat glistened on her forehead.

 

“Rose. What’s happening?” He asked.

 

She seemed almost surprised that he was talking to her, but she snapped out of it. “Oh. Cooling problem. Because of all the air-locks and everything, and all of the technology that this building runs, a bunch of hot air is trapped in the base with no escape. We’ve been trying to open up the windows and everything. Seems like we’ll have to run all our operations outside today.”

 

“Okay. I’ll tell Rey.”

 

Rose gave a quick nod of approval, and was about to leave when Ben stopped her.

 

“Thank you. For telling me what’s going on.”

 

Once again, she seemed surprised at his words, but this time pleasantly so. She smiled warmly. “You’re welcome.” With that, she was gone, probably off to try and fix the cooling problem, Ben figured.

 

He headed back to the room, expecting to find Rey still sleeping, but as he was walking down the hallway, they almost ran straight into each other.

 

“Did you find out what’s going on?” She asked.

 

Ben wore a smug expression. “I thought you didn’t want to know.”

 

“Ben,” she chided, seemingly annoyed, though she was smirking.

 

“Rose says there’s some sort of cooling problem. Right now they’re working on moving everything outside of the base. It must be colder out there than it is in here.”

 

Rey gave a quick nod. “We should help,” she said, walking past him, in the direction of the hangar.

 

Ben followed her, almost dumbly. He was somehow still feeling half-asleep.

 

The two helped carry boxes full of parts outside. At first, the pilots were able to fly their ships outside and bring them to a landing away from the building, but eventually, the inside of the hangar became too hot, and the pilots didn’t dare light their engines. Instead, everyone in the base worked together to push the ships outside. After about an hour and a half, the inhabitants of the base had managed to successfully move all of its heat-sensitive components outside.

 

A breeze was sweeping over the hills of Dantooine. Ben was tired, and sat down in the grass, taking a moment to catch his breath. The air in the base had become stifling.

 

“What, are you tired already?” Rey sat down beside him. She seemed much more collected than he was.

 

Ben laughed dryly. “How are you not?”

 

“I’m used to it, I guess. Ship parts, and air so hot you can barely breathe.” Rey looked off into the distance, as she often did when she talked about all the time she spent on Jakku. Even though they were closer than ever, Ben still didn’t know much about Rey’s childhood. Then again, she didn’t know much about his childhood either.

 

“Guys, we’ve got food! Beans today,” yelled someone from just outside the base. Everyone who was tending to their ship or relaxing on the ground stood up and began walking in the direction of food.

 

Ben looked to Rey, who wasn’t making any motion to get up. “Aren’t you hungry?” he asked.

 

She shook her head. “No, you?”

 

“Not really, no.” That was a lie, but he didn’t really want to go anywhere without Rey.

 

She let out a sigh. Ben wondered if she was thinking about Jakku. He knew that it was a tense memory for her. He thought hard, and after a moment, he came up with a way to get her mind off the subject. He spotted a few thin wooden rods laying in a pile of ship parts, about the length of his arm, and he got to his feet and walked over to them, grabbing two.

 

Rey looked up, confused.

 

“Heads up,” Ben said, tossing one of the rods to her.

 

She caught it, raising her eyebrows.

 

Ben gripped the stick like a saber, rolling it around his hand like he always did. “Spar with me.”

 

There was a look of recognition on Rey’s face, after which she narrowed her eyes in suspicion. “Why?”

 

“Practice. Self-discipline. You’re a Jedi, aren’t you?” Ben teased.

 

“Am I?” A mischievous smile danced across Rey’s expression. She got to her feet, holding the rod like a saber. She weighed it in her hand for a moment, before gripping it carefully. She stood deathly still for a moment before lunging in Ben’s direction. He blocked her attack, then attempted to attack her side, but she skillfully defended. Ben couldn’t help but smile. Rey increased the speed of her attacks, the sound of the wooden sticks becoming a steady _tap-tap-tap_ as she ruthlessly swung towards Ben. He could barely keep up with defending, and he realized his large disadvantage: Rey was very familiar with fighting using a plain old wooden stick. Eventually he lost focus, and Rey hooked around his rod using hers, then flicked her wrist so that he was instantly disarmed. The wooden rod dropped into the dirt, and Ben quickly raised his hands in surrender. Just when Rey thought that she had succeeded, Ben used the Force to bring the rod careening back towards his hand and began his counter-attack using long swinging strokes which he brought towards Rey.

 

“Hey, that’s not fair!” Rey said as she defended, though she was smiling.

 

“I never said that was against the rules,” Ben replied. He had the upper hand now, and he swept his rod behind one of Rey’s ankles so that she fell backwards into the dirt. He was on her in a second, holding the rod over her throat in victory. He felt the proud smile creeping onto his face, and he didn’t make any attempt to stop it.

 

Rey didn’t seem defeated, somehow. She blinked for a moment, staring up at him, and then surprised him by pressing her lips to his. He lost all focus on pinning her down and instead focused on deepening the kiss, which he supposed was his mistake. Suddenly, Rey swung her weight and flipped Ben onto his back, pinning him down instead and breaking the kiss. Before Ben could even process what was happening, Rey was holding both of the wooden rods at his throat as she sat on his chest. Now she was the one wearing the victorious smile.

 

“Cheater,” was all Ben could manage to say.

 

“You never said that was against the rules,” Rey replied, and her tone was cheeky.

 

~

 

Sure, it was annoying to have to clear everything out of the base, and no one could work on their ships, but somehow Rey was having a really good day. All day, Ben was by her side, and she certainly wasn’t complaining about that. And for once, Ben seemed to actually be getting along with everyone. Things still seemed tense between him and Finn, though, and Rey intended to find out why.

 

The two had been assigned to clean up the inside of the Falcon, but it was hotter inside due to the sun that was shining in through the windows, so instead of doing anything, Ben and Rey simply flopped down in the pilot and co-pilot’s seats, and stared lazily through the glass while they talked.

 

Eventually Rey decided to ask, “What happened between you and Finn the other day? And don’t tell me again that it’s nothing. I know it’s not.”

 

“He was right,” Ben said quietly.

 

“Who was right about what?” Now Rey was really confused. She’d never heard Ben admit that anyone else was right before.

 

Ben chuckled, as if at an inside joke. “Nothing, Finn just… he told me that if I lied to you, you’d figure it out.”

 

“So you _did_ lie to me?” Rey accused.

 

“Yes. Well, you already knew that.” Ben stared longingly at the Falcon’s controls, but for some reason he didn’t reach out to touch them. “Finn attacked me yesterday. Seems as if there was a bit of a misunderstanding. He thought I was putting you in danger.”

 

“You didn’t hurt him, did you?” She couldn’t help but ask.

 

Ben finally made eye contact with Rey, and his eyes seemed sadder than usual. “No. I didn’t do anything to him that he didn’t do to me.”

 

Rey thought for a moment. “I’m sorry for assuming that you would… do anything to him.”

 

His expression softened. “It’s okay. It’s a fair assumption to make. We’re not exactly on the best terms. Especially because…” He trailed off, an amused smile playing on his lips.

 

Rey was intrigued. “Especially because?”

 

He laughed quietly. “It’s a bit embarrassing.”

 

“You can tell me,” she assured him.

 

Ben looked out the window again, the small smile refusing to leave his face. “Because I thought you were in love with him for the longest time.”

 

Rey tried to stop herself from laughing, but she couldn’t, and she let out a giggle. “Why would I be in love with Finn?”

 

“I don’t know. I mean, he whisked you off that dusty planet into an adventure, didn’t he? And isn’t that what you always wanted?”

 

Sometimes Rey forgot that Ben had looked through her mind, and it still surprised her whenever he said something particularly insightful or personal.

 

“And he’s strong and brave and all that,” Ben continued, “maybe I didn’t know you as well back then, but I thought that was what you liked.”

 

Rey chuckled. “Finn can do gutsy things sometimes; I’ll give him that. And he’s willing to fight for a cause. But I wouldn’t say he’s the definition of brave. In fact, most of the time, he runs away.”

 

“And that bothers you?” Ben asked, his tone curious.

 

“There’s nothing worse than running away,” Rey said with an air of finality.

 

Ben was silent for a few moments, obviously sensing that Rey was referring to more than just Finn. He finally spoke. “I ran away, didn’t I? From the First Order.”

 

“But you were running away from the right thing.”

 

“How do I know whether I’m running away from the right thing or not?”

 

Rey thought about that. “…I never claimed to be an expert in running away. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever ran away from anything.”

 

Ben wore a mischievous smile. “You ran away from me. Do you remember? On Takodana?”

 

She laughed genuinely. “To be fair, you were _chasing me_ with a _laser sword._ ” Saying the words ‘laser sword’ made her remember something. “Oh, I wanted to give you something.” She rummaged around in her rucksack which was on the floor of the cockpit, and her hand eventually emerged with Ben’s lightsaber.

 

Rey offered it to him. “I’m sorry that I didn’t trust you before.”

 

Ben reached out for the saber, but hesitated, his hand hovering over it. His eyes flickered up to Rey’s. “…Is this some sort of test?”

 

“What? No. Take it. I’m not going to get angry with you or something,” she said, and she smiled warmly to prove her point.

 

Ben trusted her words, and took the unlit saber, turning it over in his hand. “Will I get in some sort of trouble if they find me with this?”

 

Rey shrugged. “Maybe, but… most people seem to trust you now, if only a little.” She noticed that he still seemed hesitant. “Relax, it’s yours. It belongs to you.”

 

He seemed more comfortable with the saber now, as if Rey’s words reassured him, and he gripped it more closely. His face bore the hint of a smile, but it slowly disappeared, and he was silent for a moment, as if deep in the thought. “I’m holding back something that belongs to you, too,” he said finally, “Information.”

 

“What?” Rey was intrigued.

 

Ben didn’t make eye contact. “I told you… a bit of a lie. Remember when I said that I could teach you how to put a lightsaber together?”

 

Rey’s heart fell. “You can’t?”

 

He chuckled. “No, no, I can. I just… gave you a bit of an overestimate about how long it would take.” He flipped his lightsaber over in his hand. “It was selfish of me. I told you that you’d need to meditate and all that. That we’d have to go outside all the time.”

 

She blinked dumbly, trying to understand. “Selfish?”

 

“I told you that just to spend more time with you. Rey, you’re the most powerful living Force-user. You think you can’t put together a lightsaber? Even Padawans can do that.”

 

Rey felt a bit foolish, and somehow quite flattered. She didn’t quite know what to say. “All this time, I could have put it together myself?”

 

Ben shrugged. “Sure, with a bit of concentration.”

 

She was silent for a moment. She couldn’t help but feel a bit angry- Ben’s lie had prevented her from doing something important- but at the same time, it revealed something about his character. Something warm, and kind, and honest.

 

Rey smiled. “Well, then, what are we sitting around here for?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Sorry that it's been so so long. School is a lot right now, but summer is coming I'll update all the time! Again, sorry about the wait. Thanks for being patient <3


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